Glitter In The Air
by asagohan-no-bento
Summary: Music is a drive for people in all walks of life. Its an even more prominent factor for those who live in the industry. Band-slash AU, Dou/Wata with TRC and X/1999 appearances and characters. R
1. Mic Check

A/N: I've been finding so many songs lately that just remind me of xxxHolic that I couldn't resist writing this...though I do hope that you will like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own xxxHolic, nor do I own Trapt's song made of glass

Chapter 1: Mic Check

--

Three sustained notes, then simple pluckings, streaming, as if driving down a curving road. A deep breath.

**"I don't know anything at all, and I'm somebody else. It could take years to find you, it could take years to find myself."**

_Turn the mic up for the bass, down on the second. _Another breath.

"**And I don't need to hear your answer, I just need you to see, that I think its time to breakdown these walls that we throw**."

I see them whisper behind the sound proof glass, making comments about tone and pitch, when to bring in the editing, when to stop. My eyes stop on a man sitting condescendingly in the back, one leg folded over the other, carefree windblown chestnut hair, piercing green eyes, as if he knew something the others in that room didn't. Mr. Smith the executive director.

I placed one hand on the large earphones, pushing the cushioned fibers of the left ear piece closer, to try and block out the frustrations.

"**Am I still breathing, have I lost that feeling, am I made of glass 'cause, you see right through me. I don't know who I am, and you're the only one who sees that, I can't find the questions, they cannot be answered today**."

They shake their heads excitedly, adjusting small knobs, checking the varying monitors. The man in the back stands, and the music coming from the headset stops, as do I, looking at the men in the other room. A tall man in glasses speaks into the small mic coming from the countertop.

"That's enough for now Doumeki, we're going to make some adjustments, then we want to go over track two." Stated the relaxed voice, and I nodded removing the headset, resting it on the stand in-front of me. I casually stepped out of the soundproofed room, and entered the one where my band-mates sat, retuning their instruments and I picked up my resting guitar, preparing to give it the same care.

"I can't believe this is actually happening." Commented our bassist, Sakura - a slim, short haired ball of exuberance with green eyes. I smiled at her, as did the other two members.

"It doesn't even seem real." Retorted Kunogi, our drummer, whose cascading black hair draped over her shoulder and into her face as she went to adjust and tighten a screw on her standing cymbal.

Syaoran laughed next to me, as the brunette tuned his sun-burst stratocaster, leather strap over his shoulder. "Lets just...not screw up." He added. Sakura punched him softly on the shoulder. "Don't be a buzz kill." She said happily, showing that she was only joking. He blushed, strumming the strings of his guitar.

This was our first actual recording under the mainstream label Lattice Records. We had just signed with them after being scouted a good two months ago, so we were all nerves and giggles, well as giggly as I could ever possibly get, which was very minimal.

The men on the other side of the glass waved, indicating that they were ready. The same man spoke to us through the mic. "We'll do the instrumentals first, then vocals. Just wait for the count-off." He stated, smiling eagerly.

He fingered off the counting, and we prepared, until finally we started.

--

I knocked, but there was no answer. I could hear several muffled movements from behind the door, but then again, I could have just imagined it. "Mr. Smith?" I questioned as I reached for the door knob, "I'm comi...ng in..." I dragged off at the scene behind the door.

Mr. Smith was pressing a rather slim, charcoal haired boy against the side of his desk, shirt slightly askew, brilliant blue eyes piercing through me. Mr. Smith simply turned his head away from his previous engagement- somewhere with the obviously _much _younger boy's exposed neck- and looked at me, as if this wasn't at all out of the ordinary.

"Ah, Doumeki, thanks for coming." He said, then turned back to the smaller boy and whispered something in his ear. The boy smirked, then pulled his shirt back onto his shoulder, slowly sauntering out of the room, threading one dainty hand through his disheveled hair, giving me a deathly paralyzing glare all the while.

I coughed to clear my throat of my discomfort. Mr. Smith just sat down on the large, rolling chair behind his desk, crossed his legs, laced his fingers together and rested his chin upon the small bridge his hands had created.

"Now back to business." He smiled to himself, causing something within my stomach boiled at his comment. "The recording went nicely." He stated and I bowed stiffly. "Thank you." I returned.

"But if I could- in the upmost interest of the company of course- make a few suggestions." He asked confidently and I nodded for him to continue.

"Ah, this is why I like you so much Doumeki, you never get defensive, willing to accept any form of beneficial improvement." He said lightly, standing from his chair, leaning onto his desk.

"Anything for the music." I responded. Mr. Smith's lips curved. "Well firstly." He started.

"I want to add another vocal. And if you wouldn't mind, I would like him to be the lead." He stated, firm conviction is his voice. I thought it through my head, and saw no _real _objection to it, as long as it made the sound more worth-while it would be find.

I nodded in agreement, causing Mr. Smith to smile again for what I could only wish to be the last sickening time that day.

"All that is fine, but I thought that this was to discus a manager." I started, remembering the reason I had been called in the first place.

"Ah, true." Mr. Smith stated, pushing a small button on the telephone on his desk. "Send her in." He said into the speaker, then he turned to me, smiling from ear to ear.

The loud clicking of stiletto heals could be heard from the other side of the wooden doors when finally said doors burst open, and an eerie, apprehensive feeling crept up my spine.

Not a good sign.

"Have another one for me Terry?" Came a teasing and very very _female _voice. Mr. Smith just laughed a little unevenly as the woman slid her way over to him, draping an arm over his shoulder, pulling him into a choke-hold. She then ran her crimson eyes over me, and I froze, though I'm sure that my hesitance didn't show. "Ah, is he the one?"

"uh, yes Ichihara, and his band as well." He tried to pull out of the grip, but failed. "Doumeki, this will be your representative of sorts, Ms. Yuko Ichihara, I'm sure you'll get along fine." He stated, somewhat uncharacteristically unsure.

Yuko was garbed in some rather...uh how do I say...provocative, yes definitely _provocative_, clothing and the way that she carried herself just made me worry for my well-being. That was saying something, coming from myself of all people.

"Its a pleasure to meet you Doumeki, I look forward to working with you in the future. Here's my card." She sensually slurred, handing me a small square of paper. I looked at the item uncertainly before taking it and tucking it away in my back pocket.

"Likewise." I coughed out and she smiled. She then turned back to Mr. Terry Smith. "Well, if that's it. I'll be seeing you around." She declared before walking away, but before she disappeared through the door she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I can't wait to see what we'll get out of you two." And then she was gone, leaving the same eerie feeling in my stomach.

--

We had all decided to meet at a local cafe after the meeting with the corporate exec.

"So what did he want?" Sakura eagerly interrogated the minute I sat down. I breathed out, quickly relaying all of the events through my head.

"Well we got our manager..." I trailed off, not really wanting to deliberate but knowing I would have to. Sakura breathed out in a lack of patience. "What're they like?" She quickly asked.

I sighed again. "She's...capable...to say the least." And though Sakura wasn't content with this answer, Syaoran just patted her shoulder and she gave in.

"That's not all is it?" Kunogi asked me, and I looked at her. She was always able to read me like that. I took a deep breath.

"He wants to add one more member." I said. "And I'm not really against it."

Everyone seemed to think this over, all coming to the same conclusion as I had. "The more the merrier." Sakura stated and we all shook our heads.

"What do they want them to do? Keyboards?" Syaoran asked and I turned my gaze to him. "Vocals." I informed.

"But that's your spot Shizuka." Kunogi started and I just nodded to her statement. "I'll just do back-ups for both vocal and guitar. As long as it sounds good." And everyone shook their heads in agreement.

That was why we all worked so well together, why we even lasted this long. We lived for the music, for the sound, for the _purity_ of it.

And if there was anyway to add to it, we were all for it.

--

A/N: So what do you think? I hope its not too cliche, and I haven't seen anyone do this theme yet for the fandom, so I got dibbs. Please Review and let me know what you think!


	2. First Encounters of the Second Kind

A/N: So here's the second chapter. I really hope you all will enjoy this story, I know its kind of weird to picture Wata and Dou to sing, but hey, thats what an AU's all about right? So Enjoy

**First Encounters of the Second Kind:**

--

We were planning on going through our previous recordings, only this time with the still unknown addition.

I hadn't had a very good nights rest, and I couldn't stop myself from yawning as I walked down the many hallways of Lattice Records. I passed by several rooms when something caught my ears and my entire body stopped in-front of the door in question.

I listened in to the sounds emitting from behind the barrier and my jaw fell slightly open.

An innocent piano was being played, its tones reminding me of childhood, of something beautiful, something unstained.

A muffled voice could also be heard, though the lyrics which it sang I couldn't quite discern.

All that I could make out was that the voice was beautiful, and I could have stood there listening to it forever.

The song continued, becoming more emotional as it went, as if following a child through the years, watching it gradually grow older.

The notes themselves were not very complicated, it was just the intervals at which it was played that made the tune so enrapturing.

All I could think was, _I want to make something with that voice._

But then the song gradually died down, came back from its epitome and down to reality and I sighed in regret, along with what sounded like a sigh from whoever was playing on the inside.

"I just don't know what to expect from it..." The voice said as the music completely stopped.

I then heard footsteps come toward the door from the inside and I only had so much time to pull away before the door was opened.

I shucked in a breath at the boy in front of me, the same set of piercing blue eyes, and only slightly more tamed black hair as the day before in Mr. Smith's office. He looked up at me angrily.

_I can't believe THAT came from THIS. _ I couldn't help but think.

"What do you want?" He questioned hotly and I just returned his remark with an emotionless glare. He hmphed and turned away, walking down the hall, the same direction I too had to go.

I started walking behind him.

"Why are you following me?" He asked, more irritation in his voice then before. "I'm going this way too." I stated unfazed. This just seemed to irk him more. "Well, just don't walk so close!" He declared as he took faster paces. I couldn't help but smirk at him. "You don't seem like someone with real reservations on their personal space." I commented. The younger boy's cream skin seemed to crawl.

"And what does that mean?" He questioned, a full blush creeping onto his cheeks. I just shrugged indifferently, having had my share of picking on the stammering ball of retorts.

The handsome stranger seemed to be fuming as we continued to walk in silence until finally he stopped in front of our recording room, so therefore, I had to stop as well.

"What is your problem?!" He exclaimed, throwing thin arms in the air. I looked at him again in indifference. "We're recording here today." I stated and the boy's face went blank. We stared at each other for a few minutes.

"Excuse me?" He asked finally, a complete look of disbelief mingling with his features. I reached for the door knob. "You must be the vocals Mr. Smith was talking about." I stated, walking into the occupied room.

Sakura was the first to spot my entrance and she smiled widely. "Doumeki!" She yelled, jumping up from where she was sitting. Syaoran and Kunogi looked up and smiled warmly. I nodded in greeting. Sakura hopped over to me, grabbing one of my hands in both of hers, but then something else caught her attention.

"Whose this?" She asked curiously, peeking around me at the boy still standing outside. I turned my eyes to the still flabbergasted male and just shrugged, looking back at Sakura. She chuckled at the scene and walked over to the boy.

"I'm Sakura!" She stated happily, holding out one of her petite hands. The other seemed to look at it hesitantly before grabbing it in his, shaking softly. "Uhm, I'm Kimihiro Watanuki." He stated kindly, a complete change from how he was previously and I couldn't help but look at him with hidden curiosity. Sakura smiled warmly and started to pull the boy into the room.

"Well! Let me introduce you to the rest of us!" She stated happily. "That over there is our guitarist Syaoran." The boy waved, saying a small 'nice to meet you.' Watanuki nodded in acceptance. "And that's Himawari our drummer." She stated again. Himawari smiled warmly and what appeared to be a small blush appeared across Watanuki's slim face, only managing to confuse me further.

Sakura nodded in excitement. "And I guess you already know Doumeki." She stated and Watanuki looked angrily in my direction. "Not really." He stated, and I just quirked an uncaring eyebrow at his comment. Himawari laughed, Syaoran looked slightly confused. Sakura just continued to smile.

"He's our vocals and second guitar." She stated happily again. Sakura's constant cheeriness never seemed to amaze me, it was unrivaled. "So..." Sakura continued, trying to break the tension Watanuki was creating between the two of us as he continued to glare daggers at my general direction. "What are you here for Kimihiro?"

He looked at her fondly, a beautiful and yet awkward smile pulled at his lips. "I'm...here to do your vocals, I guess." He stated timidly and Sakura's emerald eyes widened, her gaze darted to me. I just shrugged.

Everyone seemed to tense, but the moment passed as a tall man entered the room. "Hey everyone! Ready to get started?"

...

Both Watanuki and I had managed to be shoved into the sound-proof booth together, both of standing at an individual mic, headphones on. I couldn't help but stare at the other boy.

For some unknown reason he insisted that there was no need to go through the song...or even give him the starting notes, simply dismissing it as "this is his job, don't waste your time." This was only allowed to slide with us once Mr. Smith came into the room, confirming what Watanuki had said, declaring that what we had requested _for Watanuki's benefit _was not necessary.

I was unsure to say the least.

The recording director had decided on track four, saying that he wants to see how the voices will blend with Watanuki's alto/saprano range compared to my tenor, before we get into the more singular songs.

So we started, Watanuki's blue eyes closed tight, me waiting apprehensively to see what all the hype was about.

Breath in.

Twenty-four beats, then the drums. Thirty-two more, and I heard Watanuki take a breath, somehow just knowing when to come in.

"Sad, small, sweet, so delicate. We used to be this dying breed." He started much to my surprise, almost causing me to forget when to come in. "**I got a bad feeling about this, I got a bad feeling about this..."**

Then he started again, already knowing the melody, the harmony...everything.

"You kept still until the long drive home. You slept safe and close to the window." "**I got a bad feeling about this, I got a bad feeling about." **

God, his voice. Its so perfect, as if the notes were created for him...or he was creating them himself.

"Who's to say you'll have to go? **I could go all night. **Well, say you'll have to go. **I could go all... **To hell with you and all your friends, to hell with you and all your friends. Its on." 

How did we know when to listen to the other? How could I have ever imagined being brought to such a high level? I never wanted it to stop.

"Sad, small, sure in porcelain. You're skin and bones, I'm a nervous wreck. **I got a bad feeling about this, **when it comes to this,** I got a bad feeling about this." **

Watanuki _was_ singing. A pure, unwavering sound. I sighed when we were indicated to stop.

I removed the head set, looking to the group of people in the adjacent room. Mr. Smith sat again in the back, smirking incredulously, the other men's mouths hung slightly.

Something in my chest swelled.

I turned to the boy who was tracing his fingers over the lyrics sheet, small scowl on his face.

"Who wrote this?" He asked clearly, not taking his eyes off the page. "I did." I answered evenly. His head whipped towards me, eyes glaring daggers. He seemed like he was going to say something when the man in glasses spoke to us.

"We're going to edit this. Doumeki you can come back here. Kimihiro, we want to hear you do track seven."

Watanuki looked at the ceiling towards the speakers, scowling at them like mad, I turned to leave the confined space, but was stopped when Watanuki began to shuffle paper and muttered something along the lines of, "its good."

I smirked, closing the white door behind me, walking towards the room of mixing men.

...

"Why track seven?" I had asked when I entered the room. Two of the men up-front turned to me smiling. "You'll see."

The same feeling of apprehension filled me as they pressed the small switch to their left.

Sakura's base started three counts in, and I folded my arms as it carried out. I had always felt like there was something missing in this song...perhaps Watanuki would be able to fill it, though I had a feeling it was more an instrumental problem then vocal.

I caught a small twitch in the boy's right hand, distracting me from my thoughts. That spasm had happened exactly where I felt the hole was, did he sense it too?

Then Kunogi's drums started to creep in gradually getting louder along with the base, Syaoran strumming occasionally when it was required.

The twitch became more pronounced and I couldn't help but stare at the boy when he once again knew the exact tone and pitch at which the song was sung, carrying out the melody and mood perfectly.

"How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me. Its like a book elegantly bound, but...in a language that you can't read, cause ya." Watanuki's slender arms raised slightly at the end of the first verse, as if he were playing along piano keys.

_That's it. That's what's missing. _I thought, completely in unexpressed shock. The boy had a look of agitation on his face as he continued on.

"Ya gotta spend some time, love. You gotta spend some time, with me. And I know that you'll find love. I will possess your heart." Arms raised a bit higher, fingers playing out the missing notes.

Mr. Smith chuckled silently and the two main men in front turned to each other, the looks on their faces reading "I told you." I couldn't help but smile. Angry ranting or not, Watanuki was clearly gifted.

"Ya gotta spend some time love." More keys, more irritation on the boy's face. "You gotta spend some time, with me." Watanuki looked as if he was on his breaking point, fingers still playing. "And I know that you'll find, love. I will possess....AGH!" The boy finally screamed throwing his hands in the air, stomping out of the room quickly.

"How can you _not _hear that?!" He stated angrily as he walked into the room where the instruments, as well as my other band mates, stood, expressions a mixture between shock and fear.

Watanuki walked passed them to the standing, unused piano in the corner. "Jeez, I couldn't take it anymore." He said, flopping down onto the piano bench, pushing open the top to expose the keys.

The entire mixing room was in fits of laughter, all of them clearly hoping for this out-come. I shrugged and walked into the room Watanuki had just entered, nodding to reassure my wary companions.

Watanuki took a deep breath and turned to Sakura, who looked back at him curiously. "Could you start from the beginning?" He asked, all previous irritation gone, just easily breakable patients now present.

"Sure." Sakura said energetically, adjusting her base to the right angle and then she started to play. Watanuki nodded along, fingers spread, hovering over the keys. Then, right in the invisible open spot in the instrumental, Watanuki filled it with four-hardhitting cords, both in the right and left hand.

My eyes widened, mouth falling slightly slack. A small relieved smile seemed to spread across Watanuki's face as Sakura kept playing, the prodigy following with his intuitive playing all the while. Then Kunogi and Syaoran joined as well, causing the music to build and build, just absorbing you into the sound.

Then it quieted as Watanuki began to sing, all of them in perfect sync, already knowing when to follow the other. The same feeling swelled within me.

Watanuki made it back to the place where he had had his panic attack, carrying through the notes expertly, making the song into something unimaginably beautiful. I connected glances with Syaoran, then Sakura and Kunogi, all happy smiles and pronounced nods.

We needed Watanuki.

I turned to look at the men in the mixing booth, all of them just quietly listening, nodding to the other in certain spots, clearly just enjoying the sound. My gaze wavered back to the thin frame at the piano.

Watanuki seemed completely lost in the music, completely blissful, there wasn't a trace of hesitance of ego anywhere in him.

The song began to evaporate into the air, slowly coming to its end. Finally, Sakura's base struck its last cords, and the final sound echoed for a few beats.

A pronounced sigh escaped Watanuki's lips before he quickly covered them, seemingly scolding himself on the inside. Sakura, Syaoran, and Kunogi all looked at me, same thought clear in their heads as it was in mine.

Watanuki was just like us, we needed him.

I walked over to the lithe boy who was still hunched over the keys and extended a hand towards him. He looked at the hand reproachfully and then connected his blue eyes with mine.

"Welcome." I stated simply, trying to be civil with the person in-front of me. Watanuki looked again at the hand, and his features scrunched into annoyance. He quickly stood from the bench and turned to me, index finger extended and pointing at my chest.

"I don't need to be a part of your group, or your weird ideals. This is my job, not my hobby." He stated coldly, walking past me and slamming the door behind him, leaving the rest of us in a state of confusion.

"Will he be okay?" Kunogi asked quietly after a few vacant seconds and we all looked towards her. Syaoran rubbed his arm and looked at the ground. "I hope so." He stated in the same somber tone.

Mr. Smith entered the room, clearly entertained by the display he had been watching. The man patted my shoulder in a kind gesture. We looked at him.

"Kim may say that, but this is the first time he's ever actually composed something for anyone." The man stated, smiling reassuringly at us before walking out of the room too, most likely following the black-haired boy who had just left.

Again we all looked at each other, all having the same coherent thought. Now that we knew where our music could go, now that we knew the amazing sounds we could achieve, there was no way we could just go back to the four of us.

And that was our first encounter with Lattice Record's voice for hire.

--

A/N: I hope you guys like this chapter...please **Review** and let me know what you think.

**Disclaimer/Songs Used: **These are not mine.

A Decade Under The Influence- Taking Back Sunday

I Will Possess Your Heart- Death Cab For Cutie


	3. Necessity

A/N: So chapter three isn't it exciting. Not much music in this chap, though. I hope you'll like it! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing...sad isn't it?

**Chapter Three: Necessity**

--

Everything got quiet in the recording room, and my fist clenched. I turned and quickly walked out the door.

I walked to the receptionist on the first floor, and she smiled somewhat shyly as I approached.

"What can I do for you?" She asked, twiddling her thumbs together. _This would be easy. _

"I need Kimihiro Watanuki's address if you would." I stated and the woman's face became hesitant.

"I uhm, can't disclose that information." She said apologetically, and I sighed internally.

I leaned my elbow on the steel counter, placing my chin in my palm, looking at her sincerely.

"I really need it." I said evenly and I could practically see the female cave. She darted her eyes from side-to-side.

"Well, I suppose if its an emergency." She stammered, flipping through the small circular organizer under the leveled counter. She grabbed a small note-pad and pen, quickly scribbling down the information. She handed it to me.

"Thank you." I responded, giving her a small smile, turning away and quickly walking out the large corporate doors.

It started to rain.

--

I had left my wallet back in my bag in the recording studio, and thus was forced to walk to Watanuki's home, which was practically over the river _and _through the woods.

My clothing was soaked through and I sighed at my bad judgement in wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. It was freezing.

I finally spotted what I vaguely remembered to be Mr. Smith's compact BMW in the drive-way and sighed, happy to finally reach my destination; however, this also indicated that I would have to wait. It wasn't like I could just walk out and...interrupt...whatever events may be occurring between the two men inside. The confidence in Mr. Smith's steps as he left the studio almost made me sure of it.

Watanuki was his, through contract and body.

I leaned against the gate-post just outside his house, preparing to wait in the pouring rain.

--

I had been waiting for nearly two hours now, and the rain still hadn't let up. How my patients had lasted this long even I didn't know.

We needed Watanuki with us. That was probably my saving grace.

Finally the front door opened, Watanuki leaning on the frame in a baggy T and plaid knee-shorts, Mr. Smith turned towards him, his jacket over his left arm. He was whispering in the younger's ear, causing Watanuki to laugh and push him away. The man turned with a finally goodbye and got into his car, pulling out of the drive-way as Watanuki closed the front door.

_Could they make it anymore obvious? _I though somewhat darkly, an undefined feeling pooling in my stomach.

I waited a few moments shivering in the rain, before I approached the door, knocking on it twice.

I heard him approach.

"Jeez, haven't you had enough?" He said through door. "I'm too tired to do-" He opened the door, eyes widening when he realized who was on his front steps. "any...more." He finished, mouth falling slightly open.

"Anymore what?" I questioned, knowing just how much it would tick the other boy off. He looked at me with his shocked expression for a second longer before his features became a look of irritated rage.

"What the hell are you doing here? How did you find my house?" He quickly retorted, avoiding my question with a light scarlet in his cheeks.

He must really think that I'm an idiot to _not _know what had been happening.

A gust of wind blew and I couldn't prevent my shoulders from hitching the smallest bit from the cold, my clothing still soaked and sticking uncomfortably to my skin. Watanuki apparently hadn't missed my subtle annoyance.

"Ugh, come inside before you catch pneumonia." He said before moving to the inside of his house, me following behind.

Watanuki led me to his bathroom and grabbed a towel from a nearby closet, shoving it into my hands. "I'll go grab you some clothes." He mumbled irritably and went off somewhere, leaving me standing on the cold wooden floor.

He soon came back, emphasized anger in his steps. "Take a shower, and be quick about it so I can get you out of here." He said, stuffing more cloth into my arms and pushing me fully into the restroom, shutting the door loudly behind me. I looked back at the door a bit taken back at the other male's antics. I filed it away as something that characterized Watanuki and turned to the marbled shower, turning on the hot water.

--

I emerged from the bathroom, steam emanating from the room along with me, clad in the baggy khakis and blue pullover he had given me-which fit perfectly to my surprise-towel around my shoulders lazily drying off my hair.

The same song I had heard earlier that day could be heard from somewhere upstairs. That innocent piano, the reminiscent keys. I followed it.

The same wonderfully simple notes, the intervals. I could hear Watanuki humming the melody, without any lyrics, but it complimented the piano so well.

The sound brought me to a rounded room in the corner of the house, where Watanuki sat at the black grand, playing away with his eyes closed. Grateful that he hadn't heard me approach, I leaned against the door-way listening to the song's progression.

The music went into a bridge, and the notes that were hummed were elongated, more passionate than the others, but then it broke down to what I assumed was the chorus, and then the finishing verse as Watanuki ended on two last cords.

"Its really good." I couldn't help but say as the silence continued and Watanuki's shoulder's shot up to his ears. He turned angrily to me. "What the hell! Don't sneak up on people!" He yelled, turning fully around on the piano bench to sit facing my direction. I ignored his complaints and walked up to piano, lightly running my hand over the keys.

"What's it for?" I asked and Watanuki continued to look at me. He huffed, sitting Indian-style on the hard wooden seat. "I don't know yet." He said somewhat sadly, looking at his laced feet. "But there's something there, I know that much."

I surveyed him for another moment. A drop of water from my still wet hair dripped onto the white keys, and Watanuki looked at me angrily from the sound.

"Can't you even dry yourself off properly?" He asked hotly. Watanuki grabbed my hands still lightly on the piano and pushed me to sitting on the floor, grabbing the towel from around my neck. His lithe fingers quickly dug into my scalp. "Really, someone your age should know how to take care of themselves by now...how old are you anyways?" He reprimanded, then asked all the while vigorously drying my head.

"Nineteen," I supplied. His hands stopped for a brief moment, then continued again. "You look a lot older then that." He said, fingers less angry than before. "You?" I asked in turn. His scrubbing became harder again. I couldn't help but allow a small smirk from appearing on my face.

"Eighteen." He huffed. I quirked an eyebrow. _A bit young to be with such old men..._I thought wryly. "You look your age." I supplied as Watanuki had done with me. His hands tensed and then were more active than before.

"Can't believe I let a complete _stranger_ into my house, then let said stranger use my shower, and then let him..." Watanuki's rant was interrupted when my stomach insisted on going through peristalsis.

"GREAT! Are you going to make me feed you now?!" He quickly demanded, throwing the damp towel at my face. I removed the object, starring at him curiously. "Probably." I stated and Watanuki fumed.

"FINE!" He yelled stomping out of the room and heading down stairs.

...

We had managed to settle into a somewhat comfortable conversation as Watanuki cooked effortlessly in the kitchen.

"How did you get into Lattice?" I asked, staring at the other's slim back. He swished something in the pan and then sighed. "Theodore- I mean Mr. Smith- discovered me a few years ago." He said, never looking away from the stove. "How?" I responded in return.

"Before, I used to clean houses for a living, and I just happened to be cleaning Th-Mr. Smith's when he walked on me singing while scrubbing the bathroom." He said, pulling out two plates from the cabinet.

"Discovered while cleaning toilets? Classic." I couldn't help but comment and the smaller boy shot a glare at me that could have burned a hole in the wall.

"What about you?" He said, carrying the two filled plates out of the kitchen and into the living room, while I followed behind. _Damn the food smelled good._

"We were scouted. We played a lot of Indie shows, coffee shops and stuff like that." I said, completely hypnotized by the smell of...was that barbeque sauce?

Watanuki placed the plates on the small coffee table, sitting on the floor. "Are you going to eat or what?" He asked irritatedly when I didn't move from staring at the plates.

"What is it?" I asked, looking at the neatly folded tortillas which held a brownish content. Watanuki huffed more picking up the item off his plate.

"Shredded barbeque pork burritos, got a problem with that?" He stated, taking a bite from the food. I too sat down.

The first bite was amazing, incredibly rich and tender, just amazing. My chewing slowed. "Good isn't it." Watanuki said proudly and I just nodded taking another bite. It was freaking delicious.

In truth, eating isn't really my biggest priority, and usually I'm rather particular on what I consume, but God, just like Watanuki's singing, I could probably sit there forever and just eat these burritos that should be illegal.

I finished mine in no time flat, looking towards the one Watanuki still held in his hands which was half finished. He took small bites, and I couldn't help but watch.

The last bite and he finally looked at me, the corner of the burrito in-between his index and thumb. "What?" He asked confused. I shook my head, still looking at the uneaten piece. He followed my lined of site.

"Don't tell me you expect me to give you my helping too." He said in a not-quiet-angry-but-probably-should-be tone. I nodded. He sighed, holding out his piece towards me. "Here." He mumbled and before I could really control myself the piece was in my mouth fingers and all.

I heard Watanuki's breath hitch, but I was too busy masticating the food to really notice. His face turned angry and he pulled his fingers away, holding his wrist in terror. "What the hell!" He demanded and I swallowed. Freaking delicious.

"Don't just go eating from people's hands! Don't you have any shame? Do you have a food fetish or something?" He reprimanded, picking up the now empty plates and heading to the kitchen sink to wash them off and probably his hand as well.

"Sorry, it was really really good." I tried to reconcile and Watanuki looked at me, small pout on his lips, damp hands on his waist.

"Whatever." Watanuki said, drying the plates and putting them back into their cabinet.

"Thanks for the food." I said, uncharacteristically quiet and the boy just looked at me, hands on his hips again. "Its fine." He said, leaning against the rounded counter-top. "What did you want anyways?" He asked quickly, trying to fill the impending awkward silences.

I thought for a moment, realizing that there actually was a reason for coming.

"We need you with us." I stated bluntly and Watanuki looked at me with a mixture of skepticism and disbelief. I held his stare.

Watanuki then looked to the floor, fumbling with his hands, his cheeks slightly red. "I...need to think about it." He said quietly, then he looked at me timidly. "I also have a contract to with-hold...but I'll think about it." He said, his voice slipping into his comfortable accusatory tone.

I nodded, folding my arms. "Just make it quick." I said, looking at the wall next to me, making my expression seem uncaring, demanding.

I quirked a smile when I heard the boy's body stiffen from trying to contain his anger.

"Since when do I take orders from you?" He demanded, face now red for a different reason. I looked at him, golden eyes half-lidded.

"Since you invited a stranger to come inside."

--

A/N: Gomen, I'm sorry for the delayed update, it took me forever to figure out how I was going to end this chapter...and thus I resorted to good old fashioned food! I hope you enjoyed it, please **Review **and let me know what you think.

Until Next Time!


	4. Shackles for Ordinary People

A/N: So a short and sweet, development chapter. I do hope you will enjoy! Sorry for the late update.

Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing. NOTHING! ZIP! NADA!

**Chapter Four: Shackles for Ordinary People**

--

"What were you singing when you were found?" Doumeki asked suddenly after the anonymous decision that he wouldn't be leaving just yet. I looked at him incredulously, then turned back to the stairs, proceeding back to the music room. "Why are you still here?!" I asked instead. There was a long silence between us, a complete staring contest between Doumeki and my back, and even then I somehow lost.

I huffed. "John Legend." I stated, in an uncommonly timid voice. "Is that so...." Came Doumeki's paused response, his voice edged with the smallest portion of disbelief. We reached the room in question and I went straight to my comfort zone, the piano in the corner. I heard Doumeki's padded steps follow me. "Play it." He stated, making it clear that I really didn't have a choice in the matter.

"And since _when _do I take orders from you?" I asked angrily, how could this guy have so much self-rightceousness in him?

He continued to stare at me and I felt the anger swell from within my tensing muscles. I was beginning to wonder if this person ever had any previous interaction with social customs, because obviously he was a little behind on how these things went.

I glared at him, then huffed. _Why does he make me so frustrated?_ I asked myself as I unconsciously started playing the keys. _ Stupid music, dictating my life._

I felt Doumeki tense, apparently recognizing the song, and he sat on the edge of the black wooden bench where I played, a little too close for comfort in my opinion. I blocked him out and continued with the song.

I got past the fist verse, losing myself in the wonderful notes, the piano, the lyrics. I could hear the emotions, see the colors the keys made behind my closed lids.

"...and we'll make this thing work, but I think we should take it slow. We're just ordinary people, we don't know which way to go. Cause we're ordinary people, maybe we should take it slow. Take it slow, this time we'll take it slow, Take it slow, this time we'll take it slow. This ain't the movie, no, no fairy tale conclusion all, it gets more confusing everyday. Sometimes its heaven sent, then we head back to hell again, we kiss then we make up on the way. I hang up, you call, we rise and we fall, and we feel like just walking away." I sang, and I felt Doumeki's body relax, causing me to smile, _completely _against my will.

The song continued, I kept playing out the keys, Doumeki simply listening all the while.

"....maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, maybe you'll return. Maybe another fight. Maybe we won't survive. Maybe we're growing, never know, maybe you and I. We're just ordinary people. We don't know which way to go..."

"...take it slow. This time we'll take it slow." I finished, playing out the final notes, and taking in a deep breath.

"How do you do that?" Doumeki asked somewhat breathlessly. My head snapped and I looked at him curiously. "Do what?" I asked, and Doumeki's deep golden eye's connected with mine.

"Manage to sing above par to a song sung by a music legend?" He asked, face completely emotionless though his voice sounded in-awe.

_Maybe he has some weird disease where he can't make his facial muscles work..._I pondered idly as I continued to stare into the other man's hazel eyes. I felt a blush creep up on my face when I finally registered what I could only guess to be a compliment.

"Its not that good..." I trailed off, uncharacteristically embarrassed. Doumeki let out a singular cough, which I assumed to be some odd form of laughter. "What!?" I demanded at the sound.

"You're right, its not that good, its amazing." He said with a smirk on his face. I scowled.

"What about you? They made you do a demo right, before you were signed. What did you sing?" I asked incredulously.

He looked at me with a quirked eyebrow and then nodded. "Do you have a guitar?" He asked and I nodded. "Its out of tune, but I have one." I said standing up.

It had been years since I had touched my guitar, opting that piano was my preferable instrument- I didn't like the coalesces that the strings caused on my fingers and palms. I walked to the closet in the corner of the room and pulled it open, gripping the neck of the black Gibson acoustic. I walked over to where Doumeki was still seated on the piano bench and handed the instrument to him.

He gave the instrument a small smile as he strummed it a few times, plucking the individual strings and adjusting the tightness of the them until he got his desired sound. I couldn't help but watch his long fingers as they worked.

He strummed through the keys once more after about ten minutes of tuning, then played a few cords. It effectively snapped me out of my stupor.

_Its just cause its been awhile since I've heard something sincere, that's all._

Doumeki breathed out silently then began to play his cords.

It sounded beautiful within the first three notes, where he would pluck two of three strings at the same time in a complex pattern. It was peaceful, but attentive.

"**So long my life's been sewn up tight inside your hold." **He sang, voice slightly raspy but matching the tones expertly. **"And it leaves me there without a place to call my own. And I know now what shadows can see. There's no point in running 'less you run with me. Its half the distance through the open door before you cut me down. Again. So let me introduce you to the end." **He continued and I was instantly hooked.

After a completely intense pause as he sang the last sentence he started playing harder cords as the song grew from its intro into the first chorus. "**And I feel a cold wind blowing beneath my wings, that always leads be back to suffering. And I will soar until this wind whips me down, leaves me beaten on unholy ground again..."**

He continued singing, and I couldn't help but listen. There was nothing there but the sound, the lyrics obviously holding a meaning that I wouldn't be able to fathom. I yearned to hear the song in its completion, with the drums and base. God, I wanted to...

No, I didn't. I'm not going to be dragged into some new-fad of begrudgingly talented teenagers who hopped onto the bandwagon without thinking of its consequences. I've wanted out of this business, for the longest time I've wanted to get away from the superficial people that surrounded me constantly, the ego-filled puppets that couldn't carry a note in a bucket.

But this complete stranger had almost changed my mind.

I was pulled out of my internal revelations by an intense stare by Doumeki who sat with his hands still on the strings. "That bad huh?" He asked, obviously trying to read my face. I shook my head, lips still in a frown.

"No, it was wonderful...," I began, but wasn't quiet sure how to phrase my musings, or even why I was trying to explain myself to the person in front of me, "I just don't normal enjoy it so much." I finally said with a weary smile. Doumeki's eye's seemed to widen at the statement, but instantly readjusted to their comfortable state of indifference.

"How...is that possible?" He questioned. "Why are you doing it then?"

I breathed in, somewhat surprised that the other male showed such an interest. "I...its, my job." I finally stated, not really content with the answer, even though it was my excuse for everything I had down for the past two years.

"So, you make it sound as if you hate it, but if you really did I'm sure that your music would be affected." He stated, staring at me with a look that could only be read as 'are you a complete idiot?' "But its not, when you sing its amazing. I want to make something of that voice. Take it somewhere." He finished, a completely unexpected blissful smile spreading across his face.

I was stunned by Doumeki forth-comingness and the what I expected to be out-of-character facial expression. I was practically speechless, but practically being the operative word.

"Why?" I asked, looking down at my feet which were crossed as I felt a blush start to creep onto my cheeks. I felt the other man shrug and it caused me to snap my head up and scowl at him by new;y-developed reflex.

"Music isn't pure anymore." He started. "Its seen as a luxury instead of the necessity that it is. We need your voice to make it pure again." He stated, the weight of the emotional statement contradicting the blunt emotionless tone of which it was said. I couldn't help but laugh at it.

_He feels the same way. _I thought happily.

"You're crazy." I said finally looking at him with a somewhat goofy grin. "But I don't mind it."

Doumeki stared at me as if I was the one who was crazy. He was probably right.

"I'll make a deal with you." I started, standing up and placing my hands back on the keys. "I'll work with you guys for one month, and if by the end of that month I still don't enjoy it, then I'm leaving." I stated sitting again comfortably next to Doumeki on the polished piano bench.

"And if you do enjoy it? What do we get?" Doumeki asked in a very business-y tone. I looked at him and smiled.

"Then I am at your disposal until our contracts run out."

--

A/N: Ahhh, I missed my usual posting date....sorry I just really didn't have any time to write and my other story claimed the little time I had because there was more of a demand for it. Priorities priorities. Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'm happy with it because I think it set the pace for how the Dou/Wata relationship will develop, which in a new one for me because usually they're together and doing 'naughty things' (in the words of the brilliant Yuko) by now so its a nice change. But I've rambled enough. Please **Review**!!

**Songs Used:**

Ordinary People: John Legend (Goodness this song just gets ya right at the heart-strings)

Shackles: Vertical Horizon (been listening to this song forever, thought the lyrics matched Cannon Dou/Wata wonderfully.)


	5. What's In A Name?

A/n: Ohmigod, did it seriously take me over a month to update? I've never taken so long before, I'm so so sooooosorry.....i don't even know what to say. Oh wait I do, ENJOY!

Disclaimer: Not mine, well the plot is, but the characters not so much...which is no bueno mi amigos, no bueno.

**Chapter 5: What's In A Name?**

--

"Still a month's not that long." I commented once we stepped out into the crisp air the ended rain had caused. I had changed back into my clothing, and we were both heading back to Lattice, having forgotten our living essentials within its vicinity- wallets and what not.

Of course I was glad that Watanuki was at least considering the idea of joining us, but I was unsatisfied that it was only a consideration.

On a one month trail at that.

Watanuki didn't respond for a long while, tucking his hands into the pocket's of the deep-blue over-coat he wore. He was looking at his feet as they went over the damp pavement. I couldn't read his features and I certainly didn't like that one bit.

Before I could lean in closer to see his face he spoke.

"A lot can happen in a month too." Watanuki stated flatly, before looking at me again.

A pause. An explosion

"AND BESIDES!! You should be kissing the very ground that I walk on, saying 'Oh thank you Oh Great One, how could you ever grace me with your benevolence?'" The other man stated, managing a pretty good impersonation of my voice as well. He really was amusing. I just shrugged and instantly became concerned that Watanuki's eye's might fall out of their sockets.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Ugh!! You know you just....you just!!! AHHHH!! What was I thinking giving this oaf a chance, I can't even stand five minutes with him, let alone being in a freaking recording studio, or within a twenty mile radius, AHH! What was I thinking?!!" He started rambling and I was fascinated. Not only was he an amazing musician and cook, but his own comedy act to top it off.

Perfect.

"Oi." I said as the boy was about to continue down the street, when it was very obvious that we should turn onto the main-road to our right. Watanuki's reaction was absolutely priceless. His entire back hitched forward, head snapping to the side where I stood, annoyance filling his deep blue eyes. Some sort of weird cross between a hissing cat and an electrocuted one. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" He demanded through gritted teeth, straitening out vertebrae by vertebrae. I continued to look at him, pointing at the street I had already begun to walk on.

"We're supposed to go this way." I stated bluntly. Watanuki continued to glare at me, as he started to walk down the right path. "Shut up, maybe if you weren't so annoying I wouldn't have gotten distracted." He said, continuing to walk ahead of me and onto the busy sidewalk. Another shrug as I walked in-step behind him.

It had been getting unreasonably cold lately, considering it was the first of March. Sure, the rain was a factor, but it just seemed unusual for it to be _this _cold. It made me grateful for the fact that Watanuki was fussy enough to force a jacket onto me over the recently washed white shirt and jeans. It reminded me of a mother goose...just on some form of anti-depressent.

A flashy red compact pulled up dangerously close to us on the sidewalk, the wheel's on the right-hand side pulling onto the edge of the raised pavement. The car then pulled into reverse and proceeded in a very illegal maneuver of backing up (blocking two lanes of traffic) and then speeding onto the sidewalk. Both Watanuki and I were forced to stop in our tracks, me pulling the back of his collar so he wouldn't have to be in the receiving end of a fatal collision. The passenger-side window was rolled down revealing a face that would most likely appear in small, innocent children's worst nightmares.

"Ah! Its about time I found you two." Came the completely oblivious and yet somehow in-control voice of Yuko Ichihara. Her long black hair was pulled into an intricately woven bun, small tendrils of it falling down her back. She wore a vertically stripped blouse that buttoned until just under her chin and then an incredibly tight faded-brown vest which matched her pleaded slacks. It was probably the most conservative outfit in her wardrobe, or the most professional looking at least, I was sure.

I glanced at Watanuki's face, which consisted of his brilliant blue eyes becoming dilated and wide with shock, his pink lips open in an unvoiced complaint. "Doumeki..." Watanuki started, clearly trying to control some sort of building rage within him, "Please tell me that you don't know who that is."

I looked back into the car, where Yuko smiled cutely tilting her head to the side, as if in a mock-innocent sort of manner. Then I turned back to Watanuki, realizing I still held him by the collar. "She's our manager." I said flatly, not yet realizing what a grave mistake that was. The younger teen turned to me with an angered pout, causing me to finally let go of him. "Well then, its been nice working with you." He said, attempting to stomp away, but was stopped when Yuko spoke.

"Oh Kimmy!" Yuko called, successfully achieving in halting the fleeing boy in his tracks. This definitely quirked an interest. Was Watanuki actually listening? It seemed as if every muscle within Watanuki was tensing, as if he was compressing upon himself with the strain of obeying. "Yes Miss Ichihara?" He asked pained reluctance clear in his voice.

"Its time for you to head back to the studio, we still have to finish one more recording for the day so..." She said, pushing a button on the driver's-side arm-rest which caused the passenger door to open. "let's go." She said, then she glanced towards me. "You too Doumeki, chop chop." She said clapping her hands together lightly, a drunken smile appearing across her face.

Now it was my turn to hesitate, along with Watanuki. Do I actually trust this women, who is my supposed manager, enough to endanger my life by placing myself in the sure-to-be-deathtrap of a car, or fear the wrath of a disobeyed Yuko Ichihara?

...option one was seeming the more plausible path...

I glanced around us, only now realizing the crowd that seemed to form around the scene we were creating. I breathed out, what a day. I took a few steps towards the car, climbing into the back seats. Now all we needed was Watanuki and we'd be good to go.

Said adolescent still stood outside, scrutinizing the vehicle before gripping his head with both hands, swinging the appendage this way and that. At this point, I was almost certain there was some sort of melt-down going on in his head, all the while he screamed about 'how unfair life was' or some version of a curse to the Gods who threw this wretched circumstance unto his lap. Still this display of unusual movements ended and Watanuki too dragged himself into the car, closing the passenger door behind him.

Before the smaller boy could even get his seatbelt fastened Yuko had floored it, tires leaving blackened streaks on the sidewalk as she pulled back onto the road, cutting off a lane of traffic in the process. Watanuki quickly scrambled to get the flimsy strap across his chest, firmly holding onto it once it was buckled as Yuko swerved in and out of lanes, nearly ending in a collision before each attempt was completed.

I'll have to be sure to give a proper scolding to the idiot who gave Yuko her license.

In less time then I though conceivable, or even humanly possible, we were back at Lattice, Yuko parking in a red-zone and leisurely stepping out of the car, swinging her keys on an index finger. I glanced at Watanuki curious about his disposition. He now held the expression of a wetted kitten who was scared clear out of its skin. Man, he's always good for a laugh apparently.

He mumbled something along the lines of, "And I though I was a crazy driver," as he slowly unbuckled his seatbelt, trying to unwind his tightened muscles throughout his body. I had an unusually defined smirk across my face as I opened the door to assist the younger teen, holding out a hand from habitual politeness. Watanuki glanced at the offered appendage, eyeing it thouroughly before taking it. "I'm not a girl." He grumbled, and we both followed Yuko into the towering building.

--

"So!" Yuko started as soon as we walked back into the recording room. Much to my unexpressed surprise, Sakura, Syaoran, and Kunogi were all still in the separate room, instruments still in hand. "Before we finish up for the day, I would like to introduce you to someone."

Yuko gestured over to the large mixing area on the other side of the large glass window separating the recording room from the observance/editing one where a tall, lanky man with red dread-locks stood, goofy, laid-back grin on his face. I felt a creeping energy coming from Watanuki's direction and looked at him, he also had a happy grin on his face, before glom-ping the still stranger.

"Ly!!" Watanuki yelled in a happy tone, face as bright as a five year olds, " Its been so long! How are you?" The taller man happily returned the hug, same relaxed aura around him. _Great, there's another one. _I thought dryly. What was with this person and older men?

"Yea, it has Kim. I'm fine, i'm fine. Better than fine actually, Anelah just had the baby." The man stated and Watanuki looked absolutely blissful. I leaned over to Yuko, whispering in her ear. "Who is this guy?" I asked and Yuko quirked an uncaring eye-brow. "This, Doumeki, will be your head of all things technical....editing, layering-the entire sound of your tracks. He's been in this business longer than most, it's quite an honor to have him agree to work with us." She said, her words obviously meant as praise, but said in a way that hinted an air of passiveness.

"Ah." Was my brilliant response. I listened back into the conversation being exchanged between the young teen and adult, the last words I managed to catch being something along the lines of, 'I can't believe how much you've grown in the past two years.' leaving Watanuki with a masked grimace on his features, but nodding his head agreeably at his re-acquianted friend.

Apparently anything about the past or a length of time was a sensitive spot for Watanuki, definitely a good mental note to keep.

"So!" Said Lionel, clapping his hands together, a trait that seemed to be displayed often here, "I haven't introduced myself yet." He continued, walking over to me and reaching out a hand. "I'm Lionel Britt, just think of me as your own personal D.J. I look forward to working with you guys in the future." Lionel said, smiling lightly as I grasped his hand to return the gesture, already warming up to the soothing-reasurance the man exhibited. I couldn't wait to see what he could actually do.

My attention was brought to the thick-paned window when Sakura knocked a small knuckle against the surface. We all couldn't help but laugh-well everyone excluding myself- as she made a huge effort of mouthing the words 'Can we start yet?' through the sound-proofed object and Lionel let out a soft chuckle. "Let's get down to business then." He said, walking over to one of the rolling chair's in-front of the series of levers and knobs whose purpose I couldn't even begin to understand. "I wanted to go over track three, since I don't think there is actually anything I can do to it. I want to get a feel of what you guys can do."

I nodded to him and then glanced at Watanuki, wondering what it was he would do. He returned the gaze and folded his arms. "I want to see what you guys can do too, you can't just expect me to do everything." He said gruffly, still trying to be reluctant to be there, though it was obvious that he was enjoying himself.

Just another twenty-nine days of this and Watanuki would have to cave, there's no way he could hold out.

"I've had everyone go through the instrumental, all we need is the vocal and we'll be good." Lionel stated and I nodded, walking into the recording booth, pulling the headsets onto my ears.

--

The drums picked up the antsy beat, before the others joined in.

The one thing I could always relate this song to was Kunogi, how much she enjoyed playing it, and how excited she had been when we first started making the instrumental.

**"This may never start, we could fall apart. And I'd be your memory." **

But now for some reason, as I'm singing the lyrics, Watanuki keeps popping in my head.

**"Lost all sense of fear, feelings insincere. Can I be your memory?" **

I wonder why he had that lost look on his face, the one I could barely see, the one that was irritating me so much.

**"So get back, back, back to where we lasted, just like I imagine, I could never feel this way. So get back, back, back to the disaster, my hearts beating faster, holding on to feel the same."**

And of course it didn't help when he continued to wear that same look as I stared at him. Like he was battling some inner demons, or just thinking really really intently. I think I preferred his spastic movements that were a complete waste of energy instead.

**"This may never start, I'll tear us apart. Can I be your enemy? Losing half a year, waiting for you here. I'd be your anything."**

And I know I prefer his cooking over anything else.

**"So get back, back, back to where we lasted, just like I imagine, I could never feel this way. So get back, back, back to the disaster, my heart's beating faster. Holding on to feel the same."**

Where would we go, with Watanuki leading us? How far could he take us?

**"This may never start. Tearing out my heart. I'd be your memory. Lost your sense of fear, feelings disappeared. Can I be your memory?"**

How much would he let me know? Where would I stand with him?

**"So get back, back, back to where we lasted, just like I imagine, I could never feel this way. So get back, back, back to the disaster. My heart's beating faster. Holding on to feel the same."**

Ah, relief, he's smiling again.

**"This may never start, we could fall apart. And I'd be your memory. Lost your sense of fear, feelings insincere. Can I be your memory?"**

Wait, he's smiling?

I took off the headphones before the song had finished, and walked out the door. What had changed Watanuki's mood, made that terrible grimace turn into a wonderful smile?

"That was really good Doumeki," Lionel commented as soon as I walked into the room and I just nodded at the words, looking at a still smiling Watanuki who stood next to Yuko. Watanuki finally picked up on the staring and began to glare back, trying hard-and not really succeeding-to hide the smile, and he began to blush.

"We were talking about the tracks that still need to be made." Lionel intercepted at the awkward silence that was starting to fill the room, at that point Sakura began to walk into the room, tugging Syaoran in by the elbow-him hiding the crimson touching his cheek bones- and Kunogi following up the rear. "You only had four previously done songs right? So that means that we still have about eight more to go, we were talking about how those songs might turn out. We've got about four months before the scheduled release date right Miss Ichihara."

Yuko nodded, a lopsided grin on her face. "Speaking of things left to be done...you still need a band name don't you." She said, glancing around the room at each of us. "Sort of strange isn't, for a group to be signed with out even a name. Names are very important you know, they hold substantial meaning."

I connected eyes with my fellow comrades, all of us just realizing how unprofessional it must have been for us without one, well I guess that names and fame were just the least of our concerns, if someone really liked the music, they would seek it out without a name to go on, wouldn't they?

"Kimmy, you're good with these sorts of things aren't you?" Yuko asked, shooting a knowing stare at the suddenly tensing adolescent, and Watanuki pouted, another blush staining his pale skin. "I'm sure that Sakura would appreciate it." Watanuki's look began to soften, "and Syaoran, and Kunogi," She continued, "and Doumeki too." Watanuki's previously relaxed shoulders hitched.

"Don't push it Miss Yuko. I'll think about it, alright?" He said, shooting most of his attitude in my direction, even though I hadn't said anything for the entire span of the conversation. Somehow, Watanuki's new-found predicament was all my fault. Though personally, I doubted it.

"Well then, that's it for today." Yuko said happily, giving all of us another one of her 'isn't-this-just-wonderful?' grins, "I'm scheduling a meeting tomorrow for us to plan out the course of the next few months. Meet here at three okay. Well then, bye now." She said, waving as she walked out the room.

We all shifted uncomfortably in the wake that Yuko had left, but Sakura was the first to speak. "We really would appreciate it, if you picked out our name." She said, a small shyness in her voice.

Again I could see Watanuki on the verge of cracking, this month was definitely going to be a lot of fun.

"You're so nice Watanuki, you'll think of something wonderful." Kunogi happily added. Syaoran nodded with a smile. Watanuki fumbled with his hands and then gave a small nod. "I'll think about it." He said, with the most minute of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips.

We all began to leave, grabbing our things, saying our goodbyes. Watanuki exchanged a happy hug with Sakura, a smile with Syaoran, and a wave with Kunogi, and I just observed all the while.

He most definitely belonged here, and within the few hours that we've known him he already fit in perfectly.

Like it was meant to happen. All we had to do was convince Watanuki of this fact and we'd be good to go.

'A one month trial, huh.' I thought to myself.

'It's going to be interesting.'

--

A/N: So yeah, I did actually really like this chapter, with Yuko's crazy driving and a pissy Watanuki, and of course one of my favorite OC's Lionel, from my other story Mercury and Solace, if you could picture him like he is in my head you would all love him too....which you can't because I'm super vague in descriptions, he looks just like one of my good friends, crazy water polo kids, neways, off topic.....I'm sorry for taking so long to update, with the start of the new semester and..other things I haven't had much time to actually write.

Please review, even though I prob. don't deserve it for taking soo long to update....

Disclaimer/Song(s) used:

Memory-Sugarcult. -- not mine.


	6. Wake Up Call

A/N: Hello Mina-san! Ahhh, yeah, to all of my dedicated readers I'm still a-bit down with Mercury and Solace being over, so I drowned my sorrows in another chapter. So I hope you will enjoy! Maybe? Possibly? haha. Off with ya!

Warning: Not much happens in this chapter, I'm being very very canon in that aspect, which just cracks me up because this is exactly what CLAMP does.

Disclaimer/Songs used: xxxHolic and TRC belong to CLAMP, lucky lucky them. These belong to their appropriate masters:

Walking With A Ghost- Tegan and Sara (this song is so incredibly canon there should be an amv)

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight- The Postal Service

No Such Thing- John Mayer

Someday- The Strokes

ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

Chapter 6: Wake Up Call

--

It had been awhile, since I was forced to get up so early.

_....I was walking with a ghost, I said 'please, please don't insist'...._

"Uhg", I grumbled as I hoisted myself on an elbow, still underneath the covers, glaring at the slim sliding phone going off on table. _I've got to change that ring tone. _I thought, still half-sleeping.

"Hello?" I asked into the device and then became tense at the sound I heard from it. "GOOD MORNING KIMMY!" yelled Yuko on the other end, causing my to pull the phone away from my ear at the abrasive sound.

"Miss Yuko why do you have my number?" I asked tensely, trying to sound cheery.

So much for that extra hour and a half of sleep....wait how early was it anyways.

I glanced at the clock as Yuko rattled on of how 'oh, she has her ways'.

"YUKO IT'S FIVE IN THE MORNING!" I yelled, eyes widening as I took in the time. "I'm aware of that thank you Kimihiro." Yuko retorted snidely, and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me." Yuko quickly responded and I stared at the phone with a brief moment of mortification. "Uh...uhm, sorry. Wait, wait, why am I at fault here? Why are you waking me up!" I demanded and I heard Yuko chuckle.

"Oh-ho-ho, don't tell me you've forgotten already, I know you're not the brightest crayon in the box, but this is just too much." Yuko rambled and I could practically feel the knots forming in my shoulders.

_She never changes, _I thought as I took in a deep breath. "But Yuko that's not until the afternoon, why are you calling me at the crack of dawn?" I asked, trying to muster up as much patients as humanly possible at this ungodly hour.

I'm almost positive that Yuko shrugged off my logical complaint, continuing unfazed with her morning tirade. "Come now Kimmy, be reasonable. It's time to get up and embrace the world! So rise and shine, I expect you here in an hour." The woman said matter-of-factly and the line disconnected, leaving me to gape at the wall behind the headboard, letting the dial tone drone into my ears.

_"Be reasonable? I'm the one being unreasonable? Is Lattice even OPEN yet?!" _I internally debated. However, I released a sigh and gradually dragged myself out of bed.

'Embrace the world' she says, I'll put the world in a freaking choke-hold.

--

I waited at the bus stop on the corner of my street, silently grumbling over my car getting break repairs and thus preventing me from having a more enjoyable trip to a most unenjoyable place. _"But you seem to be enjoying yourself." _Said a completely irrational portion of my brain, which was quickly squashed by the more reasonable ones.

I untangled the white headphones around the music device in my pocket, slipping the two small probes into my ears. I clicked shuffle on the machine and the music started to blare. I sighed in relief....much better.

A gust of wind blew through me and I shivered, pulling my gray scarf tighter around my neck. "Freaking bus, taking its' freaking time." I grumbled again, pushing the next button unconsciously.

U2? Next. Asian Kung-Fu Generation? Next. Incubus? Ne-

I stepped onto the bus, placing the appropriate fair into the small box, eyes never leaving the LCD screen, finger still trained on the right side of the dial.

More Incubus-no-The Postal Service? Oh, I like this song. I sat down at the window seat of the last row, placing the small music machine back into my pocket, staring out the window as the city started to blend into a constant rhythm.

_Smeared black ink. Your palms are sweaty, I'm barely listening. To last demands. I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath._

What was Yuko thinking?! It's so early! Who could possibly be willing to work at this hour? I didn't even eat anything yet.....and I have that chicken defrosting in the fridge...Oh crap, I hope it doesn't go bad. And those mushrooms too, I need to use those. Maybe a zucchini stir-fry?

_You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex, a stranger with your door-key, explaining that: 'I'm just visiting.'_

Speaking of strangers. What's up with that Doumeki guy? He's so freaking stoic, how can anything good come out of him? Sure, his music's probably the best I've heard in the past six months, but once the cash starts rolling in everything will change. That's what always happens. All good things come to an end, haven't I learned that already?

_D.C. sleeps alone ton- _Ugh, next. '_Welcome to the real world' she said to me, condescendingly. _Oh, its been awhile since I've heard this one, that's right, it was the last thing I played on guitar...that was....awhile ago.

The bus made another stop, picking up a petite person in a white hoodie, with short brown hair that framed a tiny face and green eyes- "Oh, Sakura." I said lightly, and the girl's head turned. Her eyes found me and a lovely cheerful smile spread across her face. "Kimihiro!" She returned, gracefully walking over to me and plopping down in a plastic seat.

_They love to tell you, stay inside the lines. But something's better, on the other side. _

"Did Miss Yuko call you too?" The girl asked, still holding her smile. I nodded. "Yeah, I was surprised. Do you usually start work this early?"

Sakura shook her head, causing her hair to flow with the movement. "Nope, but I was already awake so I didn't mind. Whatcha listening to?" She asked curiously pointing at the headphones in my ears. "Oh, uhm..." I took the rectangular device out of my pocket, "Red Hot Chili Peppers."

Sakura's face lit up. "Really? I saw them in concert once, they were amazing! They're the reason I started to play base!" She said cheerfully, sorta bouncing in her seat. "What song?"

"Purple Stain." I said somewhat warily, not used to so much energy so early in my day. Sakura smiled. "Yep, I played that base line so many times it's engrained into my brain." She said happily. I pulled one of the headphones out of my ear. "Want to listen?" I asked, still trying to get comfortable with the girl's exuberance. She smiled kindly and took the offered piece. "Sure!" She said happily placing it into her ear.

We both sat, just listening to the instrumental solo play out until the song ended. A Moby remix came on and I groaned pushing the next button out of habit.

"Oh, that's a good song." Sakura commented and I nodded. "Yeah, but Moby just has the longest intros, it takes awhile to get to the good part." The girl nodded and chuckled. "That's true." We both nodded and continued with our listening. A Strokes song came on next and I paused from pushing the abused button.

_In many ways, they'll miss the good ol' days. Someday, someday._

"I love this band!" Sakura commented with her-I'm guessing-usual enthusiasm. "The music's so cheerful, but the lyrics contradict it ya know?" I nodded, "Can I change it though?" I asked, not being able to stop myself.

It's a terrible habit, but I just get so bored with the songs, I can't help it. Maybe I just like the surprise of what might be next, but no matter what I'm still disappointed. "Sure!" Sakura responded as the bus came to a halt at another stop.

I smiled, The Beastie Boys always made me laugh. Sakura voiced my thought, laughing to herself. "These guys have been around forever and they're still good." She commented, but gasped as another figure came onto the bus. "Syaoran!!" she yelled happily, waving at the small teenager who glanced over at us, a polite smile filling his petite lips.

The boy approached us.

"What are you listening to?" He asked, pointing just like Sakura had, a small spark in his eyes. I smiled. "The Beast Boys."

Syaoran smiled. "Sweetness, I love the beasties."

Sakura and I nodded eagerly.

This was going to be interesting.

--

A/N-

Doumeki: I wasn't even in this chapter.

Watanuki: Stop your complaining its not like you do anything anyway.

D: But I wasn't even _in_ this chapter.

W: (glares)

A-N-B: Now now you guys. calm down a-

W: I AM CALM! I'M ALWAYS CALM! WHO SAID I WASN'T CALM!

A-N-B: (cowers)

D: Great, now I'll never be in the chapter. *turns to readers* **Review** and tell A-N-B that I should be in the next chapter.

W: Who are you talking to?

A-N-B: (recovers) This was fun! Ja Na!


	7. Wake Up Call Prt II

A/N:

Doumeki: I'm in this chapter.

Watanuki: Whoopdy-do for you.

D: (nods)

W: (glares)

A-n-B: haha...before you beat me with sticks...ENJOY this chapter!

D: (nods)

W: (twitch) Can't you do something else?!

D: (nods)

Disclaimer/Songs Used: I own nothing....nothing at all. i'm crying internally right now....

1.) Tainted Love- Rise Against (cover of original)

2.) Remembering Sunday- All Time Low

3.) Decode- Paramore

--

_...Sometimes I feel I've got to, run away, I've got to, get away..._

"Hello?" I asked somewhat breathlessly into the side-kick pressed against my ear--wiping away some of the sweat the had accumulated on my forehead with a small white towel.

"Oh! You're already up." Came Kunogi's voice from the other end. She fumbled a bit before she spoke again. "Uhm, Miss Yuko asked me to call you, she wants us all at Lattice in an hour."

"Alright." I responded, standing from the black plastic bench I had been sitting on. I could her some shuffling from Kunogi's side. "How long have you been up?" She asked, concern in her tone. I shrugged, though I knew she couldn't see it. "Maybe...three hours now." I said blandly.

Kunogi sighed. "So that means you probably only got about an hour or two of sleep. Are you okay? You can't possibly still have jet lag."

I knew what she was asking, what she was probing at.

"I'm just not used to being back in Califo-"

"Are you having those dreams again?" Kunogi cut in, still not really pleased with my answer. The question made me think, somewhat surprised at what the answer actually was.

"No. Not since two days ago."

There was a pause, both of us thinking on this. "Oh..." Kunogi broke the silence, "Well, okay then! See you in an hour!" She finished, her usual cheeriness in her tone, which relieved me.

I hung up the phone, thinking on our conversation. What had caused me to completely forget about my re-accuring dream? The one I had experienced the night before had been so pleasant.

It was of my last day in Cali, I had been wandering the streets of downtown at some obscene hour of the night. I was thirteen, brooding, and strung out on hormones, but still the dream was pleasant, well, the memory that is.

I had been circling closed off buildings and cafes until I finally came across the usually festive and alive Alevara Street, which was now completely vacant. I walked through the open alleyway, where hundreds of stands would usually be set up, selling trinkets and what not, until I finally came to the rounded square that centered around a steel and concrete gazebo, that was rarely occupied by anything unless there was some sort of event being hosted there.

However, on that night, there were three people there, one leaning against the gazebo's iron bars, another strumming on a bright beige acoustic, and the third sitting indian-style in the center. I stopped on the outskirts of the square, listening to the wonderful sounds coming from the strangers.

I can still remember the words from the sad song the people had been playing.

_"He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes. Started making his way past two in the morning, he hasn't been sober for days."_

All my anger went away, worries, fears.

_"Leaning now into the breeze, remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees. They had breakfast together, but two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs."_

That small enclosure the strangers played under, made the sounds reverberate and expand, there was perfect acoustics in that little area.

_"Now this place seems familiar to him. She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin. She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs. Left him dying to get in. Forgive me I'm trying to find my calling, I'm calling at night. I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?"_

That night was the night I fell in love with music, realized its influential capabilities, how it could change people.

_"She's been running through my dreams and it's driving me crazy it seems. I'm gonna ask her to marry me. Even though she doesn't believe in love, he's determined to call her bluff. Who could deny these butterflies? They're filling his gut. Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces he pleads, oh he tries, but he's only denied, now he's dying to get inside."_

Now that I think back on it, the feeling of those performers seemed somewhat familiar, something about the one sitting down making those wonderful harmonies with the standing one... but I can't quite place it.

I shrugged, pulling on my jacket to head into the just starting day, allowing the song to still run through my head.

_"Forgive me I'm trying to find my calling, I'm calling at night. I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams and it's driving me crazy it seems. I'm gonna ask her to marry me. The neighbors said she moved away. Funny how it rained all day. I didn't think much of it then, but it's starting to all make sense. Oh I can see now that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever, wherever she may be_._"_

_--_

My hand was about to open the door to our recording room, when my entire body froze, shocked at what I heard behind it.

"I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible. I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me. I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt. Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair. And out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world. So many thousands of feet off the ground. I'm over you now. I'm at home in the clouds. Towering over your head."

And then the most unbelievable thing happened. Watanuki's voice almost perfectly mirrored the one that had been streaming through my head all morning.

"Well I guess I'll go home now, I guess I'll go home now, I guess I'll go home now. I guess I'll go--"

I pulled open the door, and instantly the sound stopped, four heads turning their attention to me. I stared somewhat at a loss at the other's, my gaze fixing on Watanuki, whose hands were poised lightly over the piano keys in the center of the instrumental room.

"Where did you learn that?" I asked, something akin to disbelief in my usually even tone. The younger tilted his head, quirking his eyebrow in mirrored confusion. "What are you talking about?" I continued to look at him, and then my three companions who were looking in-between us. I shook off the strangeness and stood a little straighter, walking fully into the room. Syaoran coughed uncomfortably and turned to Watanuki.

"It really was nice though, thanks for playing it for us." The boy said politely, obviously more comfortable with Watanuki's presence. Sakura nodded her head from where she sat next to Watanuki on the piano bench, smiling brightly, completely dissipating the awkward mood I had created.

"What do you think Miss Yuko's planning?" Kunogi asked. Watanuki tried to cover up something very similar to a snort before he made his comment. "Don't even try to figure it out, it'll only make the outcome all the more confusing." The younger said, as if recalling some long forgotten memory in the back of his head. Sakura giggled and Syaoran lightly watched her actions. "She doesn't seem all that bad though..." The brown-haired boy trailed off, though his face held a look of pre-occupation. Watanuki quirked an eyebrow at him. "Oh don't worry, there's still plenty of time for that."

"Why are we here so early anyway." I asked, finally adding my two-cents into the conversation. Everyone looked back at me, obviously all wondering the same thing. Watanuki looked between us all. "Well, obviously you're going to plan out the band's future. Have you even opened for a venue yet?"

We all looked at him questioningly, and that was answer enough. "Of course not, you don't even have a name yet.....well, that's probably where the conversation will start, then it'll progress to radio airings, interviews, photo-shoots..." Watanuki trailed off, his face becoming a little sterner.

"How far are you guys willing to go?" He asked and there was a tense pause. A phone began to ring before any of us could answer.

_...How did we get here? I used to know you so well..._

"Oh!" Kunogi exclaimed, pulling an Excursion out of the gray dress she was wearing, "It's Miss Yuko. Hello?" She asked into the device. Watanuki turned to Syaoran. "Was that Decode?" The charcoal haired boy asked with a small smirk on his face. Syaoran nodded with equal enthusiasm. "Himawari's thinks that the singer might be her older sister. Cool right?"

Watanuki looked at him skeptically, than over at me as if I would convince him of Syaoran's insanity. I nodded.

"How come she doesn't _know _if it's her sister?" The boy asked and Sakura grimaced lightly. "They were separated when Himawari was little, she's been looking for her ever since." Watanuki's entire face fell at the information, and I found the action endearing.

We all turned our attention back to Kunogi as she said her finale good-bye and slid the phone shut. "Well?" Sakura asked, bouncing lightly in her seat.

Kunogi looked at us, her face in a mock state of disbelief, or maybe it was worry.

"She said that..." The girl placed the phone back into her pocket, and stood from the stool she was sitting on. "We should play tag."

The room was silent, until Syaoran and Sakura started laughing. "What?" The boy asked gripping his stomach.

Watanuki, however, was deathly silent, his right hand clenched into a fist. I observed him with a unnoticed curiosity, and a very very unnoticeable amount of concern.

"She's not joking." Watanuki said a little shakily. Kunogi looked at him, always being quick at observing another's internal disposition. The girl smiled. "That sound's fun!" She stated, happily standing from her seat.

"And you're..." Kunogi approached a skeptical Syaoran, and a small wicked smile appeared on her face. "It!" She finished, tapping the brown-haired boy on the shoulder. Sakura squealed and I continue to observe the questionable antics.

Before I could contemplate the situation further, Sakura hopped out of her chair and grabbed onto Watanuki, hoisting him from where he sat. She then started to tug him towards the door, laughing all the while, but as the lanky teenager was dragged by where I stood, he grabbed onto my wrist, efficiently pulling me along where ever Sakura planned to take us, Kunogi close behind.

By the time we reached the fifth floor of the building, Watanuki was running on his own, having let go of me on the ninth a while back. Sakura had turned down a different hallway on the last floor and I wasn't really sure of where Kunogi had gone.

"Where are we going?" I asked lightly jogging behind the person in-front of me. Watanuki didn't look back as he answered. "I don't know where you're going, but I'm finding Yuko, she has to be around here somewhere." The reply was breathy, as if Watanuki was already worn down from all this running.

"A-" I was cut off when Watanuki's phone rang.

He answered it with an angered expression on his face, for a reason I still wasn't certain of yet.

"What are you trying to pull!" He demanded into the phone, and I heard a distinct chuckle from the other end. Yuko. Though why Watanuki was so angry with her was completely beyond me. It was just tag wasn't it?

"You know damn well what you're doing, and you know just as well what it'll do. I won't be tugged around by this, I'll leave." The boy's voice became threatening, but there was an edge of tiredness in the tone. What the hell was going on here?

"Fine. See you at three." He slid the phone shut, and leaned his back against the left wall, sliding down it, phone gripped in his hands.

I was at a loss.

"Are you okay?" I asked, hesitance in my speech. Watanuki jumped as if he had completely forgotten I was there. He looked at me, that same lost expression on his face. "Not really, no." He said, this small, sad smile appearing on his face.

I sat down a foot or two away from him against the wall, not really sure of what else to do.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled the device out. The screen read 'one new text message' and I flipped the middle section open, opening the message as well.

A smirk pulled at my lips.

I turned to Watanuki and stood, standing in-front of where he sat. I lightly kicked the side of his foot.

"You're it." I said blatantly and Watanuki's still held smile turned into a confused 'oh?'

We stared at each other for a moment, until the boy nodded his head. "Alright, but help me up first." He stated, stretching out his hand for me to help him.

I shrugged and accepted the appendage, efficiently pulling the boy up from where he sat.

A crocked smile appeared on his face.

"You're it." He said tauntingly as he took of down the hall, his hand grabbing the corner of it as he turned down another hallway.

I stood staring from where the boy had ran, a determined gleam in my eyes.

It was just tag wasn't it? Business could wait until later.

--

A/N: Jez! I've been so bad with my updating lately, sorry 'bout that. Ya see, I'm writing this joined novel with one of mi amigas (we're trying to pull off some CLAMP styled craziness where there will be 4 books all with an inter-twined plot---all for fun of course not for actual publishing) and then another amiga and I just started to do some MustangxHavoc role-play (from FMA) which has been occupying me.........Yep lots of writing. It's fun though! haha. Neways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you (hopefully) next week!

Reviews please! A-n-B


	8. PANIC! At the Studio

A/N: dun-du-du-DAA! What? A-n-b updated when she was supposed to?! That's outrageous! I know I know, I'm happy too. haha. Well enjoy this chapter, and I must say: PAY ATTENTION, Some subtle, and yet not so subtle hints are everywhere!!

Disclaimer/Songs Used: Everything belongs to their rightful and respective owners, I'm using them for my own selfish needs.

Time to Dance- Panic! At the Disco. (the **techno** version, not the crazy orchestral version. THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT!)

Guidelines:

_italics_- Flash-backs

underline- Watanuki singing

**Chapter 8: Panic! At the Studio. **(oh-ho-ho play on words!)

--

The ridiculous game that Yuko had instructed us to partake in was over- Syaoran and Sakura contently nodding off as they rested together against the wall across from me.

We had all played for a good four hours, most likely due to the sheer size of Lattice...not because I was enjoying it or anything.

I couldn't enjoy it, how could Yuko ever expect me to.

_"What are you trying to pull!"_

_The woman chuckled on the other end._

_"Oh Watanuki, it's just a bonding technique, nothing more than-"_

_"You know damn well what you're doing, and you know just as well what it'll do. I won't be tugged around by this, I'll leave."_

_"Then leave. But you know just as well as _**I **_do Watanuki, how much you need this. It'll kill you otherwise."_

_I was silent, and Yuko continued. "I'll be there at three, have fun."_

Why was Yuko doing this to me, she knew better than anyone else how I was familiar with her "bonding" techniques.

But if I had to be honest, yeah I sorta enjoyed it.

Kinda.

I glanced at my phone, looking for the time. 10:20, it would still be awhile before Yuko got here.

We were in one of the old storage rooms where thousands upon thousands of lyric sheets, music compositions and un-marketed demo CDs scattered the floor and ceiling high shelves.

Himawari and Doumeki were having a field day going through the mountain of vaguely labeled boxes, the pretty girl with spiraling columns smiling and talking rapidly, Doumeki nodding and adding his short, stoic two-cents, though it was clear that he too was overly excited.

I was too, the first time I was ever in this room.

_"This is amazing," I said somewhat at a loss of words._

_The man standing next to me smiled happily, running a hand through his chestnut hair. _

_"I'm glad you like it Kim." Ted returned with a handsome smile. "Do you think that it'll help you start again?" The man continued, slight concern in his voice. _

_I looked at him for a few short moments as my facial features turned grave. "No. I don't think it will, but it's wonderful all the same."_

_Mr. Smith sighed sadly and put a comforting arm around my shoulders. "No matter, we'll get you singing again soon."_

_"But I'm singing already." I stated, somewhat confused by his remark. Ted look at me, as if I were crazy. _

_"No Kim, we're going to get you _singing, _not this half-assesed method you've got going now."_

_I looked at him again, and then smiled sincerely, nodding in agreement._

"Watanuki?" Himawari asked, bringing me out of my day-dream. "Huh?" I asked to let her know I was listening. She giggled behind her hand.

"Are you okay, you didn't seem to be with us."

I smiled and walked over to where she sat cross-legged on the floor, a open box to her left and a bomb explosion of papers and scraps on her lap. I carefully sat down next to her, comfortably slipping into my habitual indian-style pose.

"What box are you in now?" I asked her picking up a paper on the top of the pile.

"I don't know, but I like it." She said happily reading through the music sheets. "I mean look at this! The bass line is insane! And then there's an orchestral accompaniment. AN ORCHESTRA! Could you imagine?"

I looked at her, somewhat taken back by her enthusiasm, no wonder she and Sakura got along so well.

"Well, it's not all that complicated, usually it's just a whole bunch of computer feeds, rarely do they bring in an actual orchestra." I said, not really wanting to bring her down, but just being factual about it. She continued to look at me with a smile.

I felt guilty, even though it didn't seem to have affected her. I stood, still holding the paper I had grabbed in my hand. I looked at it tentatively.

"Let's do it."

I had everyone's attention at that point, Doumeki and Syaoran looking at me curiously, Sakura and Himawari already on their feet. "Sounds good!" The small girl with short brown hair commented and I smiled.

--

The drums were blaring and I was smiling uncontrollably. It was completely unfathomable how we had all managed to get this song down pat by the third time through, seriously, it would have taken other groups a good two weeks to even get the first three measures. Well, except for one group....

"Well, she's not bleeding on the ball room floor, just for the attention, 'cause that's just ridiculously odd. Well, she sure is gonna get it. Here's the setting, fashion magazines by the walls now, the walls line the bullet holes. "

It was uncanny too, that Lionel just happened to be setting up for the day when we walked into our studio, ready to try some new applications.

"Have some composure, and where is your posture? Oh no, no. You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger, all wrong. Have some composure, where is your posture? Oh no, no. You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger, all wrong."

I guess, there was a lot of unexpected occurrences happing that morning, like considering how lucky I was that I actually pulled a good lyric sheet, that it wasn't completely mindless crap like most of the stuff in that room.

But it was Lattice after all, Ted had a way of picking 'em.

"Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention. Give me envy, give me malice, baby give me a break. When I say 'shot-gun', you say 'wedding', 'shot-gun', 'wedding', 'shot-gun', 'wedding'. She didn't choose this role, but she'll play it and make it sincere so, you cry, you cry: "Give me a break!"

It had been so long since I had felt so light while singing, a good two years since that particular day where it just slipped out. Where I overflowed and couldn't hold it in anymore, Ted miraculously there to witness it.

"But they believe it from the tears and the teeth, right down to the blood, at her feet. Boys'll be boys hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams. Have some composure, and where is your posture? Oh no, no You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger, all wrong. Have some composure, and where is your posture? Oh no, no. You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger, all wrong." 

It had been a good three years before that when I could just do it without thinking, doing it because it was something so elementary and necessary.

When I did it because I wanted to, because I loved it.

Because I had _them _to provoke me, to pull me through, or back me up.

"Come on, this is screaming photo-op, op. Come on, come on, this is screaming, this is screaming! This is screaming photo-opt! Boys'll be boys baby, boys'll be boys. Boys'll be boys baby, boys'll be boys."

But it's kinda unnerving, how familiar these lyrics feel. Like I've sung to them before, or I know it from somewhere. Know who wrote it, as if it was my own flesh and blood.

As if it _were_ them.

"Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention. Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break! When I say 'shot-gun' you say 'wedding', 'shot-gun', 'wedding', 'shot-gun', 'wedding'. Boys'll be boys, hiding in estrogen and boys'll be boys. Boys'll be boys, hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams."

I was breathing heavily, my hand gripped to my chest. What the hell was this?

It had been so long since I've felt this way, why now?

I looked at the sheet in-front of me, looking for a name, whoever the hell wrote these lyrics.

I heard clapping from the door, a singular pair of gloved hands, and a cheshire cat smile.

"Well Kimmy, that certainly was refreshing." Came Yuko's sensuous comment, and I looked at her with wary eyes.

I gulped in a huge breath of air, my pulse slowly slipping into its normal rhythm. I was still breathing from my mouth though.

"It's about time you got here." I said, panting a little. God, it was like a drug and I couldn't get enough.

"It's about time you got serious." She retorted, and I stood a little straighter, folding the paper into a neat square and tucking it into my back pocket.

"Let's get started then."

--

We all sat in the large meeting hall, Doumeki, Sakura, Syaoran, Kunogi and I on one side of the large rectangular wooden table, Yuko and Lionel on the other. It was like an intense show-down of wills.

"Six shows, four shoots, and three interviews."

"Four shows, two shoots, and seven interviews."

"Six shows, four shoots, and three interviews." The woman repeated, not wavering in the slightest.

"Four shows, four shoots, and five interviews." I compensated, trying to come to a happy medium.

Yuko's intense stare connected with mine, neither of us backing down. Doumeki sighed, and sat back more in his chair. Sakura and Himawari giggled to themselves, Syaoran didn't seem to have an opinion on the situation.

I glared at Doumeki, "Whatever, it's their decision anyways. If you want to burn them out than by all means do."

Yuko tsked and shook her head, a smug grin on her features. "Now, now Kimmy no one likes a sore loser. How about this: Six shows, four shoots, three interviews and two videos."

"THAT'S EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE!" I complained, looking at Yuko in a: "are you flipping out of your mind?!" manner.

"Nonsense, if my memory holds, then there have been those who have done far _more_."

That shut me up. I timidly sat back in my seat.

"Well now that that's settled." Yuko started, standing elegantly from her chair and walking over to the large white-board in the corner of the room. "Time to start planning." She stated, uncapping a red dry-erase marker and turning towards us.

Everyone perked up, though I was still brooding.

"We have four months until the release of your CD. So truly, we have two months to finish the remaining tracks, another month for small nit-picky matters, and then the last month with all finishing preparations in production and marketing. Any questions?"

We all shook our heads ad Yuko smiled, turning to the board and drawing two squares one on-top of the other. On the top square she wrote 'March' at the top, the bottom she wrote 'April' in a similar fashion. She then proceeded in drawing several vertical and horizontal lines, all in that red color. It was obvious she was making a calendar.

"Today's the 2nd." She stated marking off the first two boxes of 'March' with an X. "Which means we have approximately seven weeks and five days to complete eight songs." We all nodded, and Yuko continued.

"If we get all writing done the first two weeks, then we'll have six weeks for recording and editing. Which means, Four songs must be completed the first week, then the other four on the second-lyrics and instrumental included."

"We can handle that." Doumeki stated unfazed, OBVIOUSLY not realizing the sheer amount of effort and dedication doing this would take. Too bad for him.

"I hope so." Said Yuko smugly, and she started to label the first two weeks of March with a horizontal arrow, the words: "Writing Period." Written in Yuko's swirling penmanship above it.

She filled out the rest of the month with an the words 'Recording' then she posed the pen above the first day of April.

"Starting in April, we'll begin the interviews: Local radio broadcastings, maybe a video broadcast if you're lucky, and a column here and there in circulating magazines. Than the photo shoots."

We all looked at her, me being the only one who realized just how tiring this whole situation would be, how intense and mentally straining simply waking up would become...but maybe it'll be worth it, maybe it'll be like before-

"And once we finally start releasing tracks for streaming and radio usage, we'll figure out placement of possible music videos, directors and anything else that will be necessary." Yuko finished, capping the marker with an accent after filling out the board with all of its appropriate markings.

"Once the CD is released, then we'll start to schedule shows, but we'll talk more about that when the time comes."

"Now I feel I must warn you," She started again, and I smirked--'Finally' I thought. "This will be highly strenuous, there will be times where you'll want to quit. But if you dare back down while I'm representing you," The woman leered, an action that no one in their right mind would ever want to cross, "you will regret it dearly."

She clapped her hands against her cheek and smiled at us drunkenly. "Understand?"

We all shook our heads in unison.

"Good! Well, that's it for the day. You have the rest of the week to prepare yourselves and get better acquainted. I'll contact you when it's time to start."

Yuko grabbed her purse that hung weightlessly from the back of the chair where she had been sitting and she placed it over her shoulder. "Bye, bye now." She stated sweetly before gliding out the door.

A small smile graced my face, she really will never change.

I guess old habits die hard.

Lionel stood and stretched his arms over his head, several cracks erupting from his back and neck. "Well then, I guess I'll be heading out. See you guys around." He said with a casual smile and an raised hand. He too left, leaving the rest of us to our own thoughts.

Sakura started spinning in her chair, a smile on her face. "AH! I can't wait!" She squealed, hopping out of the seat and over to Syaoran, holding out her hands, which he happily took in his own. She started to spin him around too and I smiled at the school-yard innocents of their action. Syaoran laughed. "Me too."

Himawari stood and walked over to me. "Here, this is all our numbers," She said, handing me a piece of ripped notebook paper with several lines scribbled down in neat script. "So you can get a hold of us. Can we have yours?"

I smiled and nodded, giving her my cell and she quickly typed it into her top-of-the-line phone. "Thanks." She said happily, covering her mouth lightly as a yawn managed to sneak its way through her lips.

"I think I'm going to call it a day." She said, placing her phone in the pocket of her gray cotton dress. Sakura stopped her spinning, leaving a rather dizzy Syaoran to try and steady himself against the wall. "Already?" Himawari smiled and nodded, giving Sakura a farewell hug. The two girls smiled and Sakura walked over to Syaoran. "We'll leave with you." She said, cheery tone still holding true.

Doumeki stood and walked over to them. "So will I." He said lightly and I looked at the group standing across from me, observing them. Sakura tilted her head at me. "Are you coming too?" She asked hopefully, and I felt bad for having to burst her bubble.

"No, I think I'll stay a bit longer."

Sakura nodded, and grabbed Syaoran's elbow, towing the boy along with her to the door. "See you Kimihiro!" She said happily, waving. Syaoran smiled at me, holding the same meaning as Sakura's goodbye. "Don't work yourself too hard." Himawari warned, following Sakura. Doumeki too followed, but stopped when he reached the door. He looked back at me and I arched an eyebrow at him.

"See ya." He said, with an undefinable look about his lips and eyes. "Yea," I responded, not really having it in me to yell at him.

We shared a small moment of a foreign sort of peace before the taller man turned and left the room.

I felt an unusual emptiness in the pit of my stomach, and I didn't really like it there.

--

I had managed to make it home in one piece, and within a reasonable time of day. I felt light, which was saying something considering how little I weighed already. I walked around the open rooms of my house, not really sure how to I should kill the hours left before I would have to fall asleep.

I roamed unconsciously to the kitchen and started chopping a few vegetables that I had pulled from the large triple-doored fridge (1). I was brought out of my prep-work by my phone, and I pulled the device gingerly from my back-pocket. An unidentified number was calling and I answered it skeptically.

"Hello?"

"Kimihiro? It's Himawari." I relaxed and smiled, resting the phone between my shoulder and ear, continuing in my chopping.

"Hey. What is it?" I asked kindly, letting my hands do their work without much effort. "Well," the girl on the other end started, "Tomorrow's Shizuka's birthday."

"Shizuka?" I asked confused, and I heard Himawari giggle lightly. "I mean Doumeki." She explained and an 'oh' came from my lips.

"Anyways, I was wondering if you would celebrate with us. We're thinking of going to Micheli's, Shizuka and I used to go there a lot when we were kids."

I knew the restaurant well, who didn't that lived in the Hollywood area?

"Uhm, sure I guess. When are you guys going?"

"Around two I think. I'll call you to let you know in the morning once I have the reservation. Oh, this is great Kimihiro! See you tomorrow." She said happily.

"Yeah, see you." I said somewhat unsure as I hung up the phone.

It was just sort of weird to me, that suddenly I went from being a relatively reserved person to a socializing one within the length of two days.

But I was no stranger to the wonders of change, or how quickly they could happen.

A month trail was really nothing at all at the rate they were going.

A month is all it really takes.

My phone started to ring again and I was again surprised at my new-found popularity.

"Hello." I asked into the device.

"Hey Kim, I'm coming over alright?" Asked Ted from the line and I smiled. "Yeah I just started making dinner."

"Great, be there in thirty." The man said happily before hanging up.

I sighed and stretched after throwing the veggies into a bubbling pot with a cooking rouille.

I looked down at my pants and sighed. I should do some laundry.

My legs brought me out of the kitchen and down the hall to the left, leading to the laundry room. I opened the washing machine and turned to the small pile that had accumulated in the corner and started to place several items inside.

I stripped off the hip hugging gray jeans, checking the pockets for anything inside as I did with the pants that had gone in previously. I had forgotten about the lyric sheet and was in the back pocket and I stared at it for a few moments before placing the jeans into the washer and closing the top, leaving the machine to its' own devices as I left the room paper in hand.

That small paper had me so worked up and my hand started to shake as I thought of it.

Pants, I needed to put on some pants.

I walked up the stairs to my room, going to the drawers in the corner, pulling out a pair of cotton sweats. I pulled them on and then sat on the edge of my bed, still looking at the paper.

I started to unfold it, when a single knock came from the door downstairs.

I instantly looked away from the now open object and stopped my intense pursuit. I stood, dropping the paper onto the comforter and left to go answer the door and welcome Ted inside.

Little did I know that the paper floated underneath the bed--with the wind generated from me leaving to room--to be forgotten, two names that would have sent my life into turmoil for the second time being brushed away with the other small, nameless scraps that collected in the shadows of that concealed floor.

--

(1) You know those crazy fridges that have two doors for the refrigerator part, and then along the bottom there's that pull-out drawer for the freezer! Those are nice fridges...

SO THE PLOT THICKENS! Originally (well two original-ies actually) this whole plot wasn't going to kick in until much later, but hey, I got nothing better to do, and plus I have other plans (evil laughter) AND this chapter was gonna be so much more dramatic, but I didn't really feel like dealing with what was going to happen and I felt like I was digging myself into a hole so I changed the ending. Just ask if you're curious as to what was going to happen.

Also, I love Panic at the Disco, they are pretty much my favorite band--even though I am sort of disappointed with their most recent CD, it is much too happy for my taste, but what can ya do?--and Time To Dance is my favorite song by them. Just an FYI. Anyways, I'll be using more of their songs in later chapters, I love them so much, so I hope that others feel the same. :D

Please review, and LOOK I'm back to my usual updating pace! YEAH!


	9. Shut Up and Drive

**A/N**: Haha, man I have the incurable desire to write an Mpreg.....I know crazy right considering how much I hate them....

...my excuse for not updating, I'm grounded. No bueno mi amigos, no bueno. Sigh.....so there's a LOT in this chapter...like way tooooooo much, along with a LOT of curious glances and eyebrow quirking. so have fun!

Disclaimer/ Songs Used: not mine

All these things I've done- The killers

B.Y.O.B.- System of the Down (I love them, i really do, but you gotta admit that their voices suck)

Black Bird- Across the Universe (i wanna see that movie so bad!)

Colorblind- Counting Crows (man just picture Doumeki singing that! So hot!)

**Chapter 9: Shut Up and Drive** [hahaha, I really don't like this song, but I was listening to it while I wrote the end of this chapter, so it made me laugh. It's by Rihanna btw]

--

It had been awhile since I had slept so peacefully. No dreams, no distractions, just a black void of much needed rest.

It was pleasant to say the least.

I was brought from the brim of my unconscious musings by a small beeping from my phone on the floor, charging happily-as if it too was having its first nights rest in this new place-. I rubbed my eyes as I picked up the device, still somewhat underneath the body-warmth ridden sheets.

'1 new text message', the screen read. I flipped the middle section up to read it-the screen spinning into it's designed position and opening the message simultaneously.

'Happy b-day!', started Kunogi's message and I felt the pull of muscles against my lips just imagining the sound of my oldest friend's voice in my head. 'We're meeting the usual spot 11. Cu soon. 3 Hima'

I was never one for the abbreviated ways of text-messaging, but I was still proficient in it none-the-less. I pushed the command button and pushed in the scroll bar in order to respond.

'Thanks, sounds good. Dou' read my reply and I spun the center shut, placing the phone back on the floor. I lay back against the greyscale pillows and stretched one of my arms back, the palm of my hand landing flat against the wall, flexing the muscles as I thought.

_'Twenty already huh? I can't believe it's been seven years since I left here, and now I'm back.... I should see granddad soon.'_

My grandfather, how long had it been since he was buried? Seven years ago, and then I had to move... It seems like it was forever ago, I had almost forgotten. How many memories did this city still hold?

I was tempted to fall back asleep, the previous five hours I had gained had been so pleasing, why not try and get some more, but the more rational side of my head declared that sleeping was over, it was time to get started.

Oh well.

I sat up, my baggy white tee mixing with the sheets, which I swiftly pulled away from me, allowing me to stand without any restraints. As soon as I stood though, my phone started to beep again. I looked down at the device before scooping it up back into my hands and spun it open exactly as I had with Kunogi's message.

'Hey Shizuka! Happy 20th! Hima prob. told u, but we're meeting 11. ttfn! Sa' was Sakura's morning message, and it took me a while to make out her final abbreviation, finally remembering that it was one of her 'ta ta for now' signatures and I smiled, even the messages she wrote were energetic. I was always partially envious of her expressiveness, but of course I'm sure that if I walked around with such an enjoyable grin I would be labeled with such fine titles as: 'loony' 'creep' so on and so forth, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't go over too well.

I removed the phone from its charging cord and placed it in the deep pocket of the baggy cotton shorts I wore, walking over to the stereo on top of my dresser, turning it on and pushing play.

The machine whirred and awoke, delaying a few moments before it started to play one of the five CDs placed within it. An echoing singular note is played, over and over, until finally the organ kicks in a little more fully, along with a hopeful voice. _"When there's nowhere else to run, is there room for one more son? One more son? If you can't hold on, if you can't hold on, hold on." _

I stripped off my shirt and threw it expertly into the open hamper in the corner, opening the second drawer, pulling out a comfortable pastel OBEY™ shirt, putting it on. The song played on, picking up speed. _"I wanna sender, I wanna let go, you know you know, no, you don't you don't. I wanna shine on, in the hearts of man, I wanna mean it from the back of my broken hand. Another head aches, another heart brakes, I'm so much older than I can take."_

The dark, straight-leg Empire™ jeans were next and they fit comfortably around my legs. There's nothing better than a pair of perfectly fitting jeans is there?

With the way my morning was adding up, I had the irking suspicion that today was just going to be a good day.

I grabbed a jacket on my way out of the small apartment I rented just outside of the center of the city-putting my keys, wallet and phone in my pocket as I went.

_"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier, I got soul but I'm not a soldier.-" _The device whirred and turned off.

...

About forty-five minutes and two buses later I was waiting at our designated spot--A small park that was currently occupied by energy-filled children. I found a rather secluded area and sat on a vacant, worn-down bench, waiting for my three companions to show up.

What I wasn't expecting however was for Watanuki to be sitting about fifteen feet away from me, against a tree, eyes closed and looking blissful with earbuds in. I couldn't help but stare at the scene, I mean really, how often would I be able to catch him so off guard, so clearly undisturbed? It was a nice occurrence, one that I would gladly give almost anything to see more often.

It was crazy to me, that this person that I hadn't even known for a steady seventy-two hours could make me willing to put my life on the line for them, or to even briefly concern myself with their well being. What was even more peculiar was the fact that I felt this way even though all of Watanuki's actions were almost painstakingly angry or defensive whenever we came into contact. What's a person to do?

I stood in order to walk over to the possessor of my thoughts, who didn't notice my presence even when I was standing next to him. A smirk played dangerously close to the surface. I lightly kicked his foot, similar to how I had during our particularly enjoyable game of tag.

Said recipient of my kick nearly jumped out of his skin, his eyes shooting open and his hand going up to grip his chest as if trying to keep his heart underneath his ribs. His begrudgingly adorable look of shock turned into pure rage as he realized who was the cause of his near heart-attack.

"Jeez! Where the HELL did you come from." He asked, glaring pointedly at me and taking out a headphone from his right ear. I looked at him bluntly and pointed with my thumb in the direction from where I just came. "Over there." I added for extra explanation. Watanuki continued to glare at me, but he soon stood up, putting one hand on his knee in order to assist him in the task. "What are you doing here?" I asked before he was completely standing. He looked at me with a frown, his layered side-bangs somewhat covering his face.

"Well I _was _picking up my car when Himawari called, telling me to meet you guys here. Is it really your birthday?" He stated skeptically. I nodded and he rolled his eyes sighing. "Happy Birthday then I guess."

"Thanks" was my response and Watanuki still held his disapproving look.

There was an awkward silence where neither of us knew what to say, and Watanuki just sort of shifted in place, placing his hands in his orange-hoodie's pocket. Finally, my phone began to ring, breaking the tense moment.

"Hello." I stated customarily and Kunogi responded on the other end.

"Shizuka? Hey, we're stuck in traffic, you know how the freeways can get around here, I think we should just meet at Micheli's, is that okay?"

"Sure." Was my response and Kunogi's relief was audible. "Great! Okay then we'll see you there." And with that she hung up.

I slid the phone back into my pant's pocket and not two seconds later did, what I assumed to be, Watanuki's phone ring. The younger pulled out his phone from his jean's back pocket. "Hello?" He asked, and the smirk finally prevailed in revealing itself on my lips. "Yeah, well I'm right here with him...Haha, no it's fine, sure we'll meet you there." Was Watanuki's conversation with who I was sure was Kunogi.

Watanuki slid his phone shut and looked at me. "You could've just told her that you were with me."

"I didn't know I was _with _anyone. And besides, she hung up before I could."

Watanuki's expression was priceless once again, as a blush formed on his face and his cheeks puffed out in anger. "So not what I meant!" He huffed, putting his phone back into his pocket and walking past me. "Let's go."

I shrugged and followed Watanuki to his car.

.....His car that was rather shiny and black and high-end and undeniably fast. "Nice ride." I commented off-handedly, still observing the luxury item and Watanuki's chest seemed to puff out in pride. "Get in." He said quickly, hopping into the driver's side, pushing the what-should-be-a-key-but-was-actually-a-narrowed-rectangle-of-plastic into the slot, then pushing a circular button on the dashboard, starting the car. I whistled at the newness of it. Watanuki smirked, pulling on his seat belt and pushing in the volume control button, the built-in stereos blasting with a band I wouldn't ever expect from Watanuki.

"System of the Down?" I asked as a man started some weird form of singing along with the abused drums and choppy guitar. I was complete shocked, this music PRODIGY was listening to freaking screamers, people who obviously didn't have any musical talent other than making awful scratching noises.

...though after a few seconds it did start to sound pretty good.

_"Why do they always sell the poor?!" _

Watanuki just chuckled as if expecting my reaction. "You know, the first band I was ever in was originally a screamo band."

That was unexpected. "What?" His wonderfully melodic laughter came again.

"There are three things in this world that I can't do. A decent cart-wheel, rap, and scream. So with that, I have a decent amount of respect for people who can do those things that I can't."

_"You depend on our protection, yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth. La-la-la-la-la-la-lalala. Everybody's going to the party have a real good time. Dancing in the desert, blowing up the sunshine."_

"That makes sense I guess." Was my only reply, too busy trying to visualize Watanuki with a bunch of screamers. That was something I just had to see.

Watanuki seemed to smile a bit and continued to drive knowingly through residential streets as if he knew the entire area like the keys of the piano.

"How long have you been playing?" I asked and Watanuki looked at me for a brief second before his eyes were back on the road. "Playing what?" He asked in return. "Piano." I elaborated.

I heard Watanuki sigh as he turned on his left blinker. "Two years."

I almost chocked on nothing. "Only two?" It surprised me, with the sheer confidence and ease that Watanuki played with, I thought that he would have been playing a bit longer. "Yea...well only two years actually...uhm... knowing what I'm doing, instead of just playing by ear." He elaborated, obviously trying to dodge around something, getting strangely defensive about whatever it was the subject was touching upon.

"How long have you been with Lattice?" I asked again, doing the math in my head that if Watanuki was discovered at sixteen then he must have started once Mr. Smith took him in. Watanuki quirked an eyebrow but didn't look away from the tree-shaded street we drove through. "What is this twenty questions?"

I shook my head in the negative and a somewhat contended sigh escaped from Watanuki, the kind of sigh that made me wonder how else it could be emitted. "Two years." He stated again and I looked at him, curiosity peaking.

"Is that just coincidence, or is there a reason for it." I asked and Watanuki smirked. "I'm sure if you were asking Yuko then she would say that there is no such thing as coincidence." I quirked an eyebrow at that and Watanuki elaborated. "Yuko used to always tell me, that there is no such thing as coincidence, that there is only the inevitable."

Again another question sprung to mind, like how long the boy had known our manager, but the car finally parked down the street from our destination, in front of a cement apartment complex and the engine was turned off.

"Enough of the Q and A," Watanuki stated, opening his door and getting out. I too opened my door and stepped onto the sidewalk, breathing in the wet scent of old trees and the city. I looked over at Watanuki and I noticed him pulling up the hem of his gray jeans, causing me to eye the length of his legs. He was so incredibly thin, the designed-to-be skin tight material hanging off of him loosely. I soon regained myself from the thought, trying to come up for a good reason why my ponderings all seemed to have a sexual undertone.

"I haven't been to Micheli's in ages." Watanuki stated, joining me on the sidewalk as we walked to the old restaurant. "Me too." I offered to the conversation and Watanuki gave me a small smile. "Your not from around here though are you?" Watanuki asked with a knowing smirk, eyeing me up and down. I looked at him curiously as we continued to walk, the restaurant on the corner now within sight.

"I'm from Chicago, but I was born here." I stated, allowing Watanuki some insight on my past instead of me always prying into his. He looked at me slightly perplexed until a sort of awkward smile came on his face. He looked as if he was about to say something, and he stared at me for a few moments before he nodded. I still held my look of masked curiosity. "What?"

"I lived in Chicago for awhile." The younger stated, a small shy pride in his face, it was completely adorable. "How long?" I asked and the boy tensed as he walked up the four steps leading to the building's door.

There was a tense silence, where Watanuki's seemingly happy face contorted into that of hidden depression.

"A month." He said and then he turned and opened the door walking inside.

...

"Shizuka!" Chorused Sakura and Kunogi as they came up to table in the dimmed restaurant, where Watanuki and I sat talking, somehow managing to break out of the awkward conversation we had before entering the building. "Sorry we're late." Apologized Syaoran.

"Don't worry about it," Watanuki waved off with a smile and Sakura happily took the seat to his right, Syaoran following suit by sitting next to Sakura.

"Have you guys ordered yet?" Kunogi asked sitting next to me. I shook my head once and Watanuki smiled. "Not yet." He answered.

A medium built woman claimed everyone's attention through a black microphone, leaning against the grand piano in the small center of the room, where waiters would often sing old Italian ballads or showtunes for the customer's entertainment. It seemed that this woman was going to do just that. "Good evening everyone, I hope you're all enjoying your meals." Several voiced confirmations came from around the large dinning room and the woman smiled, but continued on. "Good."

A young man who must have been in his early twenties started playing up the piano and the small meal performance began.

_"Black bird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and lets fly, all your life. You were only waiting for this moment to arrive..." _Came the woman's soft, but passionate voice. It was surprisingly beautiful and I saw that Watanuki was smiling. "What?" I asked him curious to his cheery mood. He looked at me, the same happy smile on his face. "It's good to know that they still hire some talent around here." He said happily when a waiter came to our table.

For some reason Watanuki quickly grabbed up a menu and held it over his face, obviously looking at it very intently considering his nose was apparently fused to the plastic.

"Good evening, I'm Lucas and I'll be your waiter for the evening." The man said with a charming smile, the woman still singing prettily in the background. "Can I start you off with anything or are you still...Watanuki?"

The addressed looked timidly from behind his menu with a small uncomfortable smile. "Hey Luke." Watanuki respond. It seemed as if Lucas was having a difficult time computing this new turn of events. "Hey man! I thought you disappeared off the face of the earth! Hey Jeanine!" Lucas happily called over to the waitress at the table next to ours. "It's little Nuki! Can you believe it?" The waitress' eyes widened and they followed where Lucas' hand gestured. Watanuki gave a timid wave. The room got unusually quiet, even the woman and the pianist stopped playing.

_What the hell? _I thought.

"No WAY!" Yelled Jeanine, running over to Watanuki's chair pulling him into a tight hug. "Where have you been?!"

Watanuki rattled off some excuse that I didn't register, too busy listening to the murmurs that started to spread throughout the room. "_The _Watanuki?" Whispered some bus-boy across the room to the one cleaning with him. "That kid would make like....more in tips then we did with wages." Came another conversation that caught my attention, but I was distracted from listening to the rest when the woman who had been singing started to say something.

"Well ladies and gentleman, isn't this a surprise? One of our old time favorites seems to have made their way in here without saying hello. I think some punishment is in order." Jeanine and Lucas leered at Watanuki, who at this point appeared to be sweating bullets. The packed restaurant's occupants were amused by this unexpected turn of events and were all paying very intent attention to the scene. Watanuki was trying to talk his way out of something apparently as the two employees started pull him from his seat.

"Now now, come on guys let's not get too hasty."

"Hasty?" Asked Lucas. Jeanine nodded as they started to drag the poor boy over to the now vacated piano. "You were the diamond of our staff and then you just disappear one day, I think you owe us this much."

Watanuki let out a broken chuckle as he was sat on the piano bench, "Oh, right...that." Sakura was laughing so hard she was gripping her stomach, Syaoran looking at her amusedly while he patted her back. "I don't know what's going on here, but this is great!" The girl said in-between laughs.

"So our dear eaters, would you like to see how we deal with these sort of situations?" The singing woman once again said and the entire dinning room gave her their consent, she turned over to Watanuki and placed the mic she held into the small stand atop the piano. "Whenever you're ready." She said snidely to the uncomfortable teen. Watanuki gave her a look that read a sarcastic: 'thanks a lot', but turned to the mic.

"Well, uhm, wow this is awkward." The boy said with a warm smile as he opened the piano's lid, revealing the pristine keys. "I don't really have anything, uh, planned I guess, but," Watanuki continued to say, but the whole room was focused on him, waiting to see what he would do. Apparently he had a very possessing presence in public, people wanted to hear him. The thought brought me immeasurable happiness.

"I think I'll just play whatever comes to mind if that's okay." He said finally, giving us a wide smile before he turned back to the keys, starting off a melancholy intro that just sucked you in. Then he took in a deep breath, revealing the start of a story, or a large intake of emotional weight.

"I am color blind. Coffee black and egg white. Pull me out from inside. I am ready, I am ready, I am ready I am, taffy stuck and tongue tied. Stutter shook and uptight. Pull me out from inside. I am ready I am ready I am ready I am fine." He sang and everyone was quiet as a soft round of applause went through the room at the finish of the first verse, but Watanuki quickly picked up again. "I am covered in skin, no one gets to come in, pull me out from inside. I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding I am, color blind."

Damn, his playing was just so unimaginable, it didn't even seem real. Two years knowing what he was doing my ass, there's no way in hell I could ever imagine him _not_ knowing what he was doing, improvisation or not.

How did the people know him here? Was it a part-time job, did he just sneak in one night and start commanding the piano? What was it? Why was there so much I wanted to know, and so much that I didn't?

_Well that's no surprise. _A brooding part of me said. I quickly shut it up as Watanuki started nearing the end of his song. "Pull me out from inside. I am ready, I am ready, I am ready I am fine. I am fine."

Everyone cheered at his mood-setting melody. It was sad and sweet and easily understood.

The people liked it, they would listen. I realized that that was exactly where Watanuki would take us. He would take us to people, people to music.

I was blown away by its severeness and smiling unconsciously because of it.

...

Our meal was finished, Watanuki's final apologies and goodbyes were said (along with what seemed an exchange of all the tips he had received that night to the manager--something that seemed a lot like a good thousand.), and Syaoran, Sakura, and Kunogi had already left, but not without leaving me with several wrapped arrangement wishing me a happy day of birth, all of which sat in the trunk of Watanuki's car.

"Why am I bringing you back home?!" He demanded, pulling on his seatbelt. I did the same next to him. "Because you brought me here." I stated. It made perfect sense to me to leave as I came. Watanuki stared pointedly at me, but complied none the less. The radio pumped softly in the background and I decided to engage the other in another one-sided conversation.

"How did they know you there?" I decided on and I could sense that Watanuki was expecting it. He sighed, which I was now assuming to be characteristic, seeing how much he did it, and pulled back onto the street. "It's a funny story actually." He started with a smirk, pulling onto the now rapidly moving freeway. "The whole waiter performing thing is a long standing tradition," Watanuki started and I nodded to show him that I understood--the tradition had held the same from what I could remember as a kid. "Well, uh, let's just say that I've never been the richest of people, and I used to perform on the streets as a kid to provide for myself." He said a little sadly and the news completely shocked me, forcing me to turn and stare at him.

"What does that mean?" I asked, not really understanding. By a kid did he mean before Lattice...and if it did how early before he was discovered? Surely not as a child-child, and if it did then where were his parents?

A repeated sigh. "It means that I was poor and had no means of income besides groveling. I lost my parents when I was really young and I was forced to live on the streets. All I had was the clothing on my back ya know?" I shook my head in the negative, masked disbelief dominating my features. Watanuki looked at me with a mix of desperation and reluctance. "Anyways, one day, I think I was about twelve at the time, I found this trashed Yamaha in someone's garbage can, and--I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I kept it. I used the money I had managed to find to buy some new strings, and fixed it up. I can't explain it really, but when that guitar was fixed, and I finally figured out how to play it, I was so proud. I was happy for the first time in my life....." He trailed off in his conversation, obviously getting lost in his reminiscing.

When Watanuki came to he looked at me with a small blush. "Well, I guess that's not really important." I shook my head in the negative again, somewhat taken back with Watanuki being so open with his past. "It is, you found your bliss with that guitar right?" I asked and Watanuki looked at me with something very similar to shock, but then he gave me that small smile of his.

"You're right." He agreed and continued to drive.

After a few minutes, with my curiosity still not fully sedated, I brought Watanuki back to his unfinished story. "So you found this guitar, but how did that get you to the restaurant?" Watanuki quirked an eyebrow, but then my question clicked. "Oh right, well, uh, I used to play on that corner for money. I made so much more with music than I did with pity, and as you know, that's a very lucrative area. Anyways, one night I guess they're piano man bailed and they needed someone to fill in for them. The manager at the time was searching frantically outside when she saw me just sitting against the building strumming idly. Before I knew what was happening, she was asking me to help her out, and when she mentioned a fair sum in return I was in. The rest is history."

I looked at Watanuki skeptically. Was he saying that he just waltzed in without knowing anything about piano and miraculously just started playing for them? Wasn't working at that age against some child-labor law? "Did you even know how to play?" I decided on. Watanuki smiled again as he pulled over on the shoulder of the freeway.

"Okay, okay, before we get too carried away, where the hell do you live anyway?" He asked, and I mentally had a palm-to-face moment. "Right, sorry." I responded along with my address. Watanuki smiled, something I was being it become addicted to, and he pulled back onto the streaming road-way.

...

We made it to my house quicker then I would've liked, Watanuki putting the car into park and sighing to my left. I looked at him, just trying to post-pone leaving his side. I enjoyed being with Watanuki, I wanted to know more, to know everything. I couldn't help it. He was a drug and I couldn't get enough, like DaVinci and art, one shouldn't be without the other.

"The song that I played, back at the restaurant....did you like it?" Watanuki asked in a timid manner. I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Of course." His lips curled into the most endearing of expressions. "Well, I was thinking, that I want you to have it."

"You're...giving it to me?" I asked somewhat speechless. Watanuki seemed very possessive of his music, it was completely mind-boggling that he would just hand one of his 'children' over to me.

"Well, I didn't really get you anything for your birthday and I was just thinking that...."

"That what?"

"That it would be a whole lot better if you were the one singing it." Said the person next to me happily, turning to face me with unwavering confidence. I think that it rubbed off on me too because what happened within the next moment was something I had absolutely no physical control over.

My hand was on the back of his neck, delighted in the softness they found there, and I pulled him towards me. It was the most surreal thing, having his lips against mine. There was something undefinable there, something unexpected and buried, but it was welcomed. I brought the hand at his neck to his hair and the boy seemed to relax a little more, his eyes finally drifting shut instead of wide with shock.

We stayed there for a few moments, just sort of testing the waters, small pouted lips on mine in a soft embrace. However, the moment ended and it's sad to know that Watanuki was the one who pulled out of the kiss first. He looked at me, with a small breathless disposition, lips temptingly moist, and I looked back at him, showing that I meant it. He seemed to stammer a bit, one hand coming to trace his lips lightly with a fingertip, his lost look finally turning into a wide grin.

"Someone's getting freaking spoiled today." He said happily. A small chuckle left my chest and I sat back in my seat, running a hand through my hair.

"You're not mad then?" I asked, curious as to the quick change of heart and relieved that I didn't screw anything up. He looked at me again. "Not really, I didn't mind it." He said with a koi grin.

"Is that an invitation?" was my response, enjoying this somewhat awkward form of flirtation. "I don't know." Watanuki said after a few moments of deep thought.

I sighed, sitting up straighter to look at him, trying to ignore the disappointment that was starting to fill my chest. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

He smiled. I got out of the car. "Happy birthday." Watanuki said cheekily before putting his car into drive and taking off down the street, leaving me to stand with a good handful of questions in the dark, outside my apartment complex.

A few moments passed, Watanuki had been out of my sight for a good mile, and finally, a smirk broke through my lips.

A song and kiss huh? Not so bad for a day's work.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, indicating a new message. I flipped it open as I had so many times that morning, but was surprised at the message there.

'Your crap's in my car, I'll drop it off tomorrow.' Read Watanuki's message. I shrugged, trying to deny how hopeful I was becoming over the start of something more between us. I entered the cement complex.

...

I got a call the next morning.

Watanuki had disappeared.

--

A/N:Was that a productive chapter or what?! And with that sudden cliffhanger at the end!! woah right?

so yeah, I'm too lazy to make up a brand name so I'm using some personal favs, so maybe you know 'em maybe ya don't. You could always just go look 'em up if you're curious. Wata's car is a Mercedes SL-500, man i love that car......sigh.

Anyways! Hope you guys enjoyed the chap, even though it was a super late update (nya that rhymes!). Ja Na!


	10. Swear To Shake It Up Under Pressure

A/N: Soo desuyou ne.....did you miss me? Well, I'm back cough-for now-cough, tehe, so yes, please enjoy! This chapter has quiet a few flash-backs as well as the introduction of new characters and conflicts, so stay sharp ;D

Disclaimer/Songs Used: Everything belongs to their rightful owners:

The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide is Press Coverage - Panic! At The Disco

Forced Doors on the 14th Floor - VersaEmerge (oh how I do enjoy them)

**Chapter 10: Swear to Shake it Up Under Pressure**

--

"You can't keep doing this Kim, sooner or later you're going to break down." Came Ted's weary voice on the other end.

I sighed into the phone, throwing a T-shirt and pair of pants into my travel pack. "I know, I know, but, I've got to finish this or I'll never _get _over it."

"You owe it to them to at least let them know where you're going, I mean, you're a band now-"

"Don't start Ted okay, I know what I'm doing and I'll get it done. I'll call you when we get off the plane." I interjected before he could add more.

Now it was Ted's turn to sigh. "Sure Kim. Just...just take care of yourself. They really like you, they do, so just don't push them away, that's all I'm saying."

"Thanks." I said sincerely, throwing the packed bag over my shoulder, grabbing my keys and heading out the door, locking it behind me.

"Anytime. Stay safe." And with that he hung up. A smile fell onto my lips. I walked out to my driveway where a casual Yuko stood, leaning against her car.

"Ready to go Kimmy?" She asked, standing up straighter and twirling her keys on a finger.

"Yeah, lets go."

--

"Kim-chii! Yuko! Over here!" Yelled an energetic blond, his lanky frame sort of bowing with his movements. If people thought that I was skinny, Fai brought it to another level.

I ran over to the tall blond who stood mere centimeters away from his life partner Kurogane. The man had a very gruff exterior, a sort of unapproachable aura, but he's probably one of the kindest people someone could hope to meet.

"Hello Fai! Hello Kurogane, been waiting long?" I asked, putting down my bag onto the hard concrete outside the airport. Fai turned a cute form of thoughtful. "Nope, we just got here, it's great that your flight wasn't delayed. Kuro-pii was so worried that you weren't going to make it."

Kurogane became flustered at his sudden involvement in the conversation. "Like hell I did." He growled at the blond who simply giggled and dodged the punch thrown at him.

"Haha, oh Kuro-wan is so aggressive today." Fai teased, throwing his arms around the taller man's neck. "Ready to get going?" Yuko asked finally appearing next to me. I turned to her, and then looked back towards my two ex-bandmates.

"Yeah, lets get this over with." I said, picking up my bag again and following where Kurogane led, an energetic Fai attached to his back.

--

_"What are you playing?" Asked a voice I didn't recognize. I jumped, not used to being addressed by strangers, not used to interacting with people. _

_"Uh, uhm, I-" I stammered, staring at the two people who stood over me on the vacant street. I was so scared, my mind instantly flashing to a worst case scenario, being viscously kidnapped and God knows what else. It was some insane hour of the morning, the city still being lit by street lights. Who would be out this late? _

_"You'll get much better sound a few streets from here. We're going to go and practice, do you want to come?"_

_My mind was screaming: "Run you freaking idiot!" , but something else was telling me that these people could be trusted, that they meant no harm. _

_The shorter of the two males kneeled down next to me, a kind smile on his face. "I think we might have scared him Fuuma." He said to his companion, who kneeled in a similar manner. I gripped the large guitar that was practically the same size as me closer to my chest. _

_"I'm Kamui." Said the smaller one, holding out his hand. I looked at him skeptically, but he held my gaze. I managed to pry away a hand from the neck of my guitar, lightly gripping the offered hand. Kamui's smile grew a little more. "That's Fuuma, he's my band mate." The other man offered his hand just as Kamui had and I shook it more comfortably. _

_"I- I'm Watanuki." I stated and the two smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Fuuma said happily, both he and Kamui standing again. _

_"We're heading over to Alevara Street, wanna come?" He continued and I stared at them, then back at my guitar, giving a shy nod... _

"You okay Kimi-tan?" Asked Fai curiously, patting me on the back a few times, bringing me out of my day dream. I looked at him, brief fogginess in my eyes, but I gave him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, this place just brings back a lot of memories."

Kurogane stepped out of the car behind us, letting out a brisk 'tsk'-ing sound. "It better, we practically raised your sorry ass."

Fai turned to him, sticking out his tongue, "You used to wait on him hand and foot Kuro-woof, just like the loyal daddy you are." The man growled, pulling the blond into a headlock, the smaller laughing all the while.

Things never really change do they, no matter what you might be missing.

We all walked into Morning Star Studios, where my entire life began.

--

"Okay Kimmy, you know the drill," Yuko stated before flipping a few dials on the switch-board in the adjoining room. I sighed in deeply, chills running down my spine. I couldn't believe I was doing this, that I would actually be able to finish it for them.

The music started streaming through the headphones I wore, and my breath came a little quicker. Maybe it was too soon? What if I couldn't handle it...

"Sit tight I'm gonna need you to keep time come on just, snap snap snap, your fingers for me, good good, now we're making some progress come one just, tap tap tap, your toes to the beat."

My confidence started to build, a large smile on my face, I only wish it was them who was actually singing, like it was meant to be sung. "And I believe, this may call for a proper introduction oh well, don't you see? I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue."

_"have some composure where is your posture? Oh no no."_

Just put the right amount of desperation into your words, play the part, the yearning, the hardships. Sometimes, I really did wish it was all an act. That there wasn't this empty space in my throat, that I could just let it all go and not have to wait to be provoked into it.

I want control again.

"Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen, we're still so young, desperate for attention, I aim to be your eyes trophy boys, trophy wives. Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen, we're still so young desperate for attention I aim to be, your eyes trophy boys, trophy wives."

I'm sure that I'm not the only one suffering from this, I _know _that. Fai lost so much of his ability too, Kurogane losing from Fai's loss, Yuko struggled, though nothing showed. But, still, I feel like I'm the only one who really knew what we had lost all those years ago, the only one that's still struggling with it. How could I forget? They were my entire world, no matter how quickly that axis was established.

"Applause, applause, no wait wait, dear studio audience, I have an effort to make. It seems the artists these days are not who you think, so we'll pick back up on that on another page. And I believe this may call for a proper introduction oh well, don't you see. I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue."

I had forgotten just how much I enjoyed playing with Kurogane and Fai, how much they showed me and how quickly I took it all in. Kurogane's drumming was different from Himawari's, it was stead fast, confident, but not overbearing. He was extremely talented, I doubt there are many people who could match it. But....but there's something that changed in it, it's not the same as it was back with Kamui and Fuuma, there's not as much in it, I think Kurogane still has a hole too.

"Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen, we're still so young, desperate for attention, I aim to be, your eyes trophy boys, trophy wives. Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen, we're still so young desperate for attention I aim to be, your eyes trophy boys trophy wives."

Fai was a different category entirely, though, his struggle is the most evident out of us all. I think, that when I first met Fai, I was completely shocked, his talent was so completely unfathomable. Fai....Fai can play any instrument known to man, without instruction. It was as if he spoke to the instruments, and they just followed along with him, as if they were his legs and he decided to go out for a casual stroll. Simply on demand, and his talent, I think, was what made playing with them so easy. If we needed a base line, Fai was on it, if we needed an accordion, an organ, a fiddle, Fai could play it at the drop of a hat.

It's not so easy for him anymore. He said it was psychosomatic, and that he was constrained to one instrument per band now. If we needed him on bass, then that was it, no switching, no display of his talent, which was unfortunate, considering that I couldn't play guitar-that I _wouldn't _play it- any longer, so....that was where we need him for this, though we knew that he was capable of so much more.

"Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen. Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen, swear to shake it up, you swear to listen. Swear to shake it up. Swear to shake it up."

_"You're pulling the trigger pulling the trigger all wrong." _

I felt my heart leap in my chest....That song...this song. This was one of Kamui's...so...that must mean, the one back at Lattice had to have been his too. One of the ones he wrote for me. Tears stung my eyes.

I wanted to laugh uncontrollably from all the memories that popped into my mind. From how I argued and persuaded, and sighed and pouted.

_"What do you _mean _you can't not scream? Come on, you two would be so great! Imagine! You use techno loops already with some of the other tracks, why not just sing?"_

_Kamui and Fuuma just glanced at each other, before they started to laugh at my exclamation. "Kim, that's not _us. _That's why you're here."_

_I remember crossing my arms over my chest and pouting, the two men laughing again. _

They changed the song for me anyways, though they knew that they wouldn't be able to sing it. They were just so incredibly selfless like that, they gave and gave because it was pure, because it sounded so unrivaled, so _good_.

"Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen, we're still so young desperate for attention, I aim to be your eyes trophy boys trophy wives. Swear to shake it up if your swear to listen, we're still so young, desperate for attention I aim to be your eyes. Ba-dada-duduh-dududuh-dududu, Ba-dada-dudu. Ah-a-a-ah. Ba-dada-dudu-dududu-dududu, Ba-dada-dada-dadadah,"

"Kimmy,"

And Yuko....well she had-_has-_ her own share of problems.

"Yeah?" I asked, pulling off the head-set. Yuko spoke through the mic so I could hear her, "We still have two tracks left to go before we can call it a day. Are you okay?" She asked in her maternal fashion that she only brought out of her arsenal occasionally. I smiled.

"I'm fine, I think." I said warily, not really realizing that my own hands were shaking. I gulped, my throat was unusually dry, my chest a little heavier than it was supposed to be. I laughed to try and assure her of good health. "Whenever you're ready." I said gradually.

She gave me a knowing look before shrugging. "And here I was trying to be concerned..," She pouted, folding her arms over her chest.

I stared at her, my face scrunching in an angry manner. "You shouldn't WANT to have to be concerned!" I retorted.

"But Kimmy, it's good for my image, we'll start in five, four..." She mouthed off the last three numbers and the music started to kick in.

Crap.

Crappity, crap crap.

I sighed. I guess I'll just have to see how much I've changed since I was thirteen then...

"Abandon me! I was never one to hold out well under pressure. I was lost. I hope you can find me. I've got to find myself before I can move on this time."

This was the only track that Kamui and Fuuma didn't get to finish, their last song as how they were before they found me, before I changed them.

As Antipro, the band that was taking the country by storm.

I was starting to see black spots and I was feeling a little light headed.

"Can we penetrate the barricades created by me? We know our mouths aren't locked through forced doors."

But these lyrics, it was as if they knew exactly what's been going through my head, as if they just knew how this was all going to affect me....

They just always seemed to know everything.

I felt the impending urge to cough.

"I can feel the tension in your words, screaming for me to understand what you've been thinking. There's a cloud casting ore your head. Can't see anything clear, you're only seeing who you were."

My lightheadedness started to escalate to completely blacking out, I couldn't feel anything, I felt like I was slipping out of my body.

But I can't just stop, I've got to keep going for them, I have to do _something._

"Too far to reach I'll say. She's on the tips of my fin-"

My body hit the ground, everything went black.

...

Whispered voices and a soft surface, along with an overwhelming sense of inferiority.

"Maybe it _is_ too soon." Stated a concerned Fai, probably nawing at his lips like he usually does. There was a gruff 'tsking' sound, most likely coming from Kurogane. "The kid knows what he's doing, he'll be fine."

"Oh Kuro-wanwan, you're so brave!" Fai exclaimed jokingly, throwing his arms around the stoic softy, Kurogane trying to spit out a repellent to his flamboyant companion, but sadly- as it always is - he was too late, Fai already glued to his skin.

"Get off me," grumbled Kurogane, finally managing to pry himself from the blond man's grip. Fai laughed melodically. "But Kuro-pon, don't you think he's grown up so much? He's really become something neh?"

"Pff, once a punk always a punk," Kurogane replied. I felt someone shift just to the right of me, as if someone was taking a seat in a neighboring chair.

"Oh, Kimmy is still growing, and he must do so. He's still not able to get over them it seems." Came Yuko's somewhat tired voice, and I had a good inclination of why she sounded as such. Maybe if I could ever bring myself to waking up, I would make sure she was alright.

Fai sighed, "It's hard enough to lose your family once, but to lose it twice is just unexplainably cruel."

There was a pause, where my breathing was the only real sound in the room, but the pulsating of my heart was still plaguing my head.

Thankfully, Fai once again was the first to speak, laughing off his unease. "Everything happened so quickly as soon as they brought him, I don't think I've ever felt so worn out, right Kurogane?"

I was almost positive that the taller man was raising an eyebrow at the sudden use of his actual name, Fai must be distressed by his reminiscing as well. "You're telling me, I don't think those two wrote as much music in their lifetimes as they did in that one month. Pissed me off."

"And all the shows, the tours. Oh Kuro-wan, it was fun wasn't it."

The man sighed, but not in irritation, in, perhaps....sadness. He shook his head.

Yuko's chair squeaked as she turned towards them, "I think we've done enough for today, we'll finish the rest tomorrow."

"Or the next day," Fai added, linking his arm with Kurogane as he pulled the taller man out the door. "It'll get done when he's ready." Kurogane stated gruffly walking out the door with Fai.

It closed, a small click erupting from its frame. Yuko's chair squeaked again, and the woman sighed too, though hers was not as audible as Kurogane's.

"You can wake up now." She said nonchalantly.

I smirked, trying to lift an eye-lid. "I can't." I said childishly, sitting up from the small cot I was laying in. I turned to Yuko and took in her disposition. Radiant and composed as ever, but I knew how much being here irked her, how many problems it caused.

"Have you talked to him yet?" I asked, though it wasn't really much of a question, I already knew the answer. Her slight lips quirked, "But of course."

"So you're really going through with it then?"

Yuko looked at me with that pasted smile of hers for a few seconds, the one she wears when she doesn't want to show what she's really thinking, how she's being affected by this. "He's made his feeling perfectly clear,-"

"-But he loves you Yuko-"

"-and I have to do what's best for myself." She finished, ignoring my interruption. I looked at her desperately. She made no move to withdraw her previous statement. I took in a deep breath, trying to make it as even as possible, finally placing my feet on the firm ground. I stood, not looking at Yuko and walked towards the door. "You're just doing what's best for your reputation, and you know it." I said quietly, picking up my bag at the door. I pulled it open, "I think you forget how hard it is to cover up a divorce." Then I walked out.

...

The small house hadn't changed a bit, still the same wood and concrete structure, exactly how I remembered it. I rang the doorbell, pulling my bag onto my shoulder a little more. The front door flew open, accompanied by one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen in my life.

"Kimihiro!" Yelled Kotori as she pulled me into a hug. I smiled into her golden hair. "Long time no see." She pushed me back, holding onto my shoulders, looking at me fully. "Jeez, you've grown so much." She said happily. We smiled at each other for a long moment, happy to see each other again after so long.

"Well come in, dinner's almost ready." She said at last, gesturing for me to go inside before her. I did just that and breathed in the warm smells Kotori's house held, it was still the same.

"Your room's all set, why don't you get comfortable and I'll call you when it's time to eat?" Asked the golden haired woman, and I nodded, walking down the hall in front of me, leading to the indicated room.

Nothing had changed, the same pictures were still hung from the walls, the comforter the same thickness. But still, it felt empty.

How had Kotori managed these past years without Fuuma and Kamui, her brother and practically brother-in-law. It's as if she's acting like they're still here, as if she can't let go either.

I smiled sadly, putting down my bag, unzipping it all the while. I pulled out several folded shirts, pants, the usual articles that are associated with packing until I came across my phone at the bottom. The small LCD light at the top was blinking, indicating that I had missed something. I slid it open, reading the alert that popped up on the screen. "Sixteen missed calls?" I said aloud, not really sure why I would have missed my phone going off so many times. I checked the call history and an unknown number came on the screen, followed by two others I didn't recognize, as well as Ted's at the very bottom.

"Watanuki!" Came Kotori's soft voice-though it was nothing compared to the completely enrapturing bell-tone of her singing-indicating that it was time to eat. "Alright." I called back.

I looked back at my phone and sighed, throwing it back on my bed.

My present could wait, I need to settle my past first.

--

A/N: Ohhh, dramatic ending dramatic ending. lol! Well, sorry for the late update, my summer break's coming up soon so I'll be able to hop back into my normal updating pace OH THE EXCITEMENT!

Please review as always, I really appreciate them all.


	11. Chicago Is So Two Years Ago

A/N: Soooooo just a quick chapter, hopefully to clarify anyones questions and to pick up the stories pace! YEAH PACE! Have fun!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Chapter 11: Chicago is so two years Ago (i'm using this song later lol)**

--

"Have you heard anything yet?" I asked Kunogi, who was pacing nervously in the same office room we had occupied the day we planned our band's future.

It had been a week since Watanuki left, and still we were none the wiser of where he went.

"We've called his phone about a hundred times..." Syaoran added, taking small sips of the water in front of him.

We had tried to call Yuko too, only receiving an answering machine. Going to Mr. Smith was something else entirely. It was completely obvious that he knew of Watanuki's whereabouts, that he was connected to this, but he refused to tell us.

_"What's Kim's business is Kim's business, he'll tell you when he's ready."_ Was the man's only response.

Somehow, I found this highly unlikely, just based off of our newest member's current record.

Sakura hummed in her chair, rocking back and forth, "Doesn't it seem strange that both Yuko and Kimihiro are gone at the same time?"

We all nodded to ourselves, "It's highly likely that they're together." Syaoran agreed, "And he stopped by your house didn't he?"

I looked at Syaoran, "Yeah, everything that I left in his car was just sitting on my front door."

"He didn't leave a note or anything?" Sakura asked somewhat sadly, "It just seems so weird....," Her face brightened up, "Maybe he was kidnapped!"

Syaoran let out a sigh, "That's not a good thing," He said patting the girl on the shoulder, Sakura pouted-- obviously not wanting Watanuki's disappearance to be the boy's fault, that he wouldn't just abandon us-- ",plus, We know that Theodore knows where he is."

Sakura nodded. "Didn't he say anything though...maybe we're missing something."

Though it didn't show, somehow I felt that I was the only one of us who was truly panicked over Watanuki's disappearance. I felt empty, helpless, as if I had somehow lost a part of myself. I just couldn't figure out a logical reason for him to leave. What happened to all his talk of having a contract to withhold...of our month trial?

_"I lived in Chicago for awhile." _

_"How long?" _

_"A month."_

And that was the moment when everything just seemed to click. It all made sense.

"Chicago." I said quietly as if saying it aloud would make it seem more real, that I wasn't just completely losing it. I had always trusted my instincts before, why not now?

Sakura, Kunogi, and Syaoran turned to look at me in a synchronized movement. "What?" Kunogi asked quietly.

I looked at her, my face faltering from its usual expressionlessness. "He's in Chicago."

"Where did that come from?" Syaoran asked, his face reading of disbelief.

"He said something...about living there, about a screamo band. He seemed sort of distressed about it."

"That doesn't really mean that he's there." Kunogi added, trying to convince me of my insanity. "He's there." I said, finality in my tone. I grabbed my jacket off the back of the large cushioned office chair, turning and walking out the door.

--

"Where are you going Shizuka?" Kunogi asked, walking close behind me. "To talk to Mr. Smith."

"He didn't tell us anything before, why would he now?" The girl tried to convince, but she didn't get it. I knew where Watanuki was, I was in on this whole stupid secret.

_Why didn't he just tell us, why the hell is he sneaking around behind our backs._

The large office doors were within site and I quickly closed the space that kept me from them. I opened them fully without knocking, but what I saw behind them made me stop in my tracks.

A tall woman standing in front of the desk, a grave looking Mr. Smith sitting behind it.

"Yuko!" Kunogi squeaked, bumping into my back. The woman turned, a sly smile on her face.

"My, my, hello you two." Yuko greeted, but I didn't care about what she had to say. I knew where he was and I was going to drag his pathetic ass back here.

"It's Chicago isn't it, that's where he is." I stated, my voice even, glaring strongly at Yuko, who only stared back in return in her usual condescending fashion.

"Didn't I tell you they'd be good for him Terry?" Yuko said airily, never looking away from me.

The man sighed and stood, running his hand down his face. "I knew they would be as soon as I saw them." He stated tiredly. The man walked over to me his eyes a darker shade of green than they usually were. "Well come in come in. There is much we must discuss."

--

"What?" Sakura asked, sheer sadness and terror in her voice. She seemed as if she was about to cry. Syaoran put a comforting hand around her shoulder.

"He was so young." Kunogi added, looking down into her lap.

"I knew, from the first time I saw them play together, just how much was going to change. As soon as the first song was released on the air, people went crazy for it, they were plummeted straight into a world of fame and fortune, and nothing could stop them." Yuko began, elaborating on the tragedy she had pronounced to us which reduced Sakura to such a state, left me internally hollow.

How Watanuki was discovered by the two most talented musical youths of our generation, the well-known--but sadly forgotten--Antipro. How the media was told that the band's disappearance was due to an artistic difficulty, that they were splitting up. I remember reading a small article about it, how devastated fans were, how completely blinded we all were by this lie.

Kamui and Fuuma were murdered, a small and completely terrified Watanuki locked in their apartment's closet-- there to witness the entire thing. How the man responsible for it was still at large. Apparently, the murderer was a completely rabid fan, insane, and delusional that Kamui was somehow singing to him, professing subliminal messages of love.

That was all Watanuki could make out of the crazy rantings of the deranged man, or at least that was all that Yuko had managed to get out of him.

Watanuki went into a state of depression after that, he was, after all, only thirteen. He had lost his family, they had abandoned him, and then right when he was at the brink of having it again, it was snatched away from him, and he had a front row seat.

The depression eventually dissipated, Watanuki disappearing from the music scene--stating that he would never be able to play again, but managing to piece together a small life for himself, getting a job for a maid service. How he could ever manage such a feet on his own was completely beyond me, how he could manage to completely detach himself from music when it was so clearly a large part of himself, of who he is. He worked for three years, never touching a guitar, not so much as humming a note. He was void and it was building.

Apparently, the time that Watanuki was discovered by Mr. Smith was actually his second time being discovered, he just overflowed, the music was pent up inside of him, just waiting to burst.

_"...I just happened to be cleaning Th-Mr. Smith's house when he walked in on me singing while scrubbing the bathroom."_

I couldn't breath, everything Yuko was saying became a buzz in the background.

Everything that I had based my music off of, most of the examples running through my head were from Antipro. All my ideals of purity, of an unstained sound.

_"I don't need to be a part of your group, or your weird ideals. This is my job not my hobby."_

I wonder how much it hurt him, to see Kamui and Fuuma's wants reflected in our music, to seem them in it. He must have been terrified. I wonder if he knew how much I respected them, how much they had affected me as well.

_"He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes starting making his way past two in the morning, he hasn't been sober for days..."_

How could I have been so stupid? Of course those voices seemed familiar...God, I'm such an idiot. It all made sense. How else had Watanuki known that song, been able to play it so effortlessly for Kunogi, Sakura and Syaoran? My stomach felt as if it was filled with lead. The people that had drawn me to music, those three strangers.

Three strangers... Kamui, Fuuma, and a young Watanuki.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath, standing from my chair, practically racing out of the room.

--

_Hey, this is Watanuki leave a message after the-_

'Pick up the damn phone.' I willed towards the message, hoping that somehow now that I knew what Watanuki was up to he would answer, that there was nothing to hide.

Before the beeping sound went off I hung up, swiftly placing my phone in my pocket, calling a cab just outside of the building.

The compact yellow vehicle pulled up right as Kunogi sprinted out of the building, she spotted me as I pulled open the back door and quickly ran over before I could take off.

"Shi-Shizuka, you can't go after him." She panted out, a hand on her knee, the other holding the door open. "You can't."

"I can." I said simply, just staring at her, ignoring the vast amount of nervous damage this was doing to me.

"There's some other way, there has to be." Kunogi stated, finally standing up straight, her breathing coming in more evenly. "But you taking off like this won't solve anything."

I looked at her for a few moments and then sighed, staring at the back of the passenger's seat in front of me. "Fine. But I'm still going to end up dragging him back here."

I looked back up at her, one of those rare smiles hanging off my lips. "I won't be satisfied otherwise."

--

A/n: Did you have fun? Good good, see you soon!


	12. Choose Not A Life Of Limitation

A/N: Whee! Another short chapter! So enjoy and enjoy some more :]

Disclaimer/ Song(s) Used: They belong to whoever they belong to

Starcrossed - Scary Kids Scaring Kids (totally totally canon Kamui/Fuuma)

**Chapter 12: Choose Not A Life Of Limitation (Red Hot Chili Peppers reference!)**

--

"Yuko...you can't be serious." I stated in blatant disbelief. I couldn't believe what I was seeing in front of me, on the printed paper Yuko had brought me.

"I'm perfectly serious, and so are they." The woman retorted simply.

I spared a strained look at her.

I had asked Yuko to keep me updated on everything back at Lattice...but....but...

An underground concert was not something that I expected. Nor to be already planned and in the works.

"How can you let them do it...they don't even have a group name yet." I tried to reason, I mean really, none of this made any sense.

"Things will happen when they're meant to happen. And besides," Yuko informed airily, walking over to a large leather chair and sitting gracefully in it, "they are already near completing the required set list."

I stared exasperatedly down at the paper in front of me. The only proof that what Yuko was saying was in fact happening.

Lyric and music score sheets, filled out in all their glorious completion. Done in a total of about three days.

Technically less than that if you factor in all of the travel and the usual loll-y-gagging Yuko tends to venture into. How in heavens name Doumeki could have ever done that was completely beyond me.

Well, it was Doumeki.

And I had already thought of his skills on par with _them._ I guess it was only to be expected.

I continued to look down at the papers, reading each note, listening internally to the amazing melodies and harmonies they made. I sighed, my hands unconsciously gripping the papers a little tighter.

"What....what did they say." I asked quietly, scared of what Yuko's answer would be.

"Say about what?" The woman asked, though her tone erred on 'I-know-what-you're-asking-but-I-want-you-to-know-what-you're-asking'

"About...about me being," I looked up at her, "here. About, you know, everything you told them."

"Oh Kimmy, how do you know that we told them anything at all?" Yuko retorted with a smirk.

"I just, know okay. There wouldn't be a reason for them to do this if they didn't know. You can just tell by the music, it's more cautious, like he's trying not to hurt me with it."

There was silence between us, a long and completely meaningful silence. Yuko obviously happy with my analysis into Doumeki's psyche, myself just unsure of the entire situation.

"We didn't tell them anything originally, but when I arrived he had figured it out. He knew without us having to tell him." The woman stated happily.

I looked at her curiously. "He knew where I was?"

She just gazed back at me, her crimson eyes speaking an obvious 'yes.'

"When is it?" I asked, a small smile appearing on my face as I looked back down at the papers.

Yuko shrugged lightly. "A week or two from now. I'll keep you updated like you asked."

I nodded, folding the papers and putting them in my pocket. "Thanks."

"Oh don't thank me, I'm being payed for my work." She said with that usual joking tone.

--

We had been working on the remaining tracks for a little under a month now and still, I felt like I wasn't any closer to repaying them.

"Star crossed lovers, they say we're not meant to be. 'Cause the stars in the sky and the fashioned that they are aligned. I say if the future's been drawn out there's no point in living. I won't give up my love so fate can have its way. If the stars said that you couldn't love me are you telling me that you would listen? If the words make it-"

I stopped singing, Kurogane and Fai stopping their playing respectively due to the scene that burst into our room.

"Oh Kimmy!" Called out Yuko's voice. I internally cringed, scared of what possessed the woman to ever call my name in such a sing-song tone.

I stepped away from the mic, hesitantly giving Yuko my full attention. "Yes Yuko?"

"Guess what was faxed to me." The woman stated happily, placing her hands on her hips.

"Uhm..." I looked at Fai and Kurogane, unsure of how to respond, the two of them just shrugged. "...I don't know Yuko. What is it?"

"Something that's either going to make you extremely flattered, or extremely angry." The woman said snidely, placing a long finger on her bottom lip, looking up in a pondering sort of fashion.

"And that could only be a small handful of things neh Kimi-tan." Fai stated supportively. I smiled at him.

"So what is it." Kurgane asked gruffly, wanting to get back to playing, to get this song done with before I passed out again, which was always a very high possibility. My grand total was already up to....what....a good seven times since the first. Making it about once every three days. I was due for another.

Yuko held out a folded paper, leaving me still unaware of what it actually was. I looked at it for a few moments before believing it harmless and opening it. Oh how very wrong I was in my judgement.

My eyes widened, taking in the full scope of the paper's contents. My breathing came in a little faster, pure rage filling my stomach. I felt the hand that wasn't holding the paper clench and unclench in a steady rhythm.

"That IDIOT!" I exclaimed. "Their concert's in a few hours...what the hell is he thinking?!"

Yuko smiled, "He's thinking that you'll be there."

I looked at her, my anger only calming minutely.

I huffed, running out of the room.

There was only about seven hours for me to get back to California and save Doumeki's stupid ass from complete humiliation.

--

A/N: Gasp! What did Doumeki do? Well, you'll just have to see in the next chapter.

So yeah...I updated twice this week so I should be getting some major kudos (pats self on the back) please Review!


	13. Opening Night

A/N: So yea, I finally got my lazy behind into gear and wrote this chapter. I had originally started it like a month ago, but I had to reinstall all my hardware onto my computer because I somehow managed to delete my airport application (which allows me to connect to the internet) so yeah, everything I had on my computer was deleted....tis sad. That's my excuse TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. But I must say, this chapter is like _completely_ different from the first version...and I like it better too. ANYWAYS, have fun, read! It's good for you!

**WARNING**: There is a LOT of music in this chapter (it is a concert after all) so I suggest you get some youtube tabs ready. Other than that enjoy.

Disclaimer/Songs Used: I own nothing, everything belongs to their rightful owners.

**Into the Ocean - Blue October** (they're so poetic lol)

**Skeptics and True Believers - The Academy Is...** (I chose this song for the lyrics, it's pretty much, and scarily so, exactly like the plot line of this story)

**I Miss You - Blink 182** (you know that this just works so well.)

**Lunacy Fringe** - The Used (the most played song on my iTunes, and idk why...)

**Amber** **- 311** (such a good song!)

~Chapter 13: Opening Night~

--

"How does it look?" Sakura asked eagerly, practically bouncing out of her seat. Syaoran turned away from the monitor, a small smile on his face.

"It's completely packed....I can't believe that so many people are willing to wait around for a group they don't even know." The boy responded thoughtfully, crossing one leg over the other once he was fully back in his seat.

I smirked to myself, adjusting the tuning on the acoustic that sat in my lap. Kunogi twirled a wooden stick between her index and middle finger, a large smile on her face. "It's amazing that Ms. Yuko could set this up so quickly, considering we've only seen her about two times since we decided on this."

Syaoran nodded at Kunogi's statement before turning to me with a more stern look on his face.

"Are you really going to go through with this though Doumeki? I mean...well, we shouldn't push him you know. He doesn't really owe us anything, so he shouldn't feel obligated to-"

"He'll be there." I interrupted, already having this conversation with the younger male.

Syaoran sighed, but his moment of exasperation was quickly broken when Sakura finally burst from her chair, jumping into the air with her hands held over her head.

"Can we start?! Can we start!?" She asked in-between jumps. Sakura bounced over to Kunogi, grabbing the taller female's hands and hoisting her up to join in the small hopping session.

The door to our right creaked open, a brunette woman peeking her head into the room. "Okay guys, we start in five." She stated, taping her watch twice. "Stand by in the wings."

We all stood, well Syaoran and I stood, Sakura and Kunogi ceasing in their song-less ring-around-the-rosy.

"Ready?" I asked and they all nodded, instrumental tools in hand.

...

My very first impression upon walking onto that stage was noise and blinding light.

Interesting.

Just as Syaoran had said, the large concert hall Yuko had booked for us was completely packed, a river of rounded heads and I couldn't make-out a single face.

I looked over to Syaoran, then to Sakura, both of them giving me their approval with large smiles and nods.

I ran a hand through my hair, not really sure how to address so many people, talking wasn't exactly my strongest suit.

Let's start with the basics.

"Hello." Was the only thing I could think to say, and apparently that's what they wanted to hear, cheering already though we hadn't done anything.

The applause died, and I glanced over to Syaoran again for his consensus, he shrugged so I continued on.

"Well, uh, Thanks for coming out and we hope you enjoy the show." I finished with an uncaring shrug.

And then it began.

**"I'm just a normal boy that sank when I fell overboard, my ship would leave the country, but I'd rather swim ashore without a life vest I'd be stuck again, wish I was much more masculine, maybe then I could learn to swim like 'fourteen miles away'. Now floating up and down, I spin colliding into sound like whales beneath me diving down I'm sinking to the bottom of my everything that freaks me out, the lighthouse beam has just run out. I'm cold as cold as cold can be. Be."**

People were cheering, already catching onto the beat, the somber tone, listening and just absorbing what these nobodies threw at them. It was truly surprising, but invigorating none-the-less.

**"I want to swim away but don't know how, sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean, let the waves up, take me down, let the hurricane set in motion, yeah, let the rain of what I feel right now come down. Let the rain come down."**

But it's really discouraging though too, for these people to not be able to experience just how amazing this would be if instead of me they were listening to Watanuki, listening to something that was life-changing, something worth listening to.

**"Where is the coastguard I keep looking each direction for a spotlight, give me something, I need something for protection. Maybe flotsam, junk will do just fine the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind. I'm treading for my life believe me, how can I keep up this breathing? Not knowing how to think, I scream aloud, begin to sink, my legs and arms are broken down, with envy for the solid ground. I'm reaching for the life within me, how can one man stop this ending? I thought of just your face, relaxed and floated into space."**

At the last line, several small outburst of "Awww" could be heard throughout the audience. It's so funny though because for me all of it is based around that blue-eyed prodigy, he's the one. He's my "Awww".

**"I want to swim away but don't know how, sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean. Let the waves up, take me down. Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah. Let the rain of what I feel right now come down. Let the rain come down."**

Ah, that's right, Sakura put so much input for these lyrics though, she really brought a more desperate longing feeling to it. It just seemed so natural, I had forgotten that it wasn't always this gentle of a song.

**"Now waking to the sun, I calculate what I have done like jumping form the bow yeah, just to prove that I knew how yeah. It's midnight's late reminder of, the loss of her the one I love. My will to quickly end it all, set front row in my need to fall. Into the ocean, end it all. Into the ocean, end it all. Into the ocean, end it all. Into the ocean...end it all. **_Into the ocean _**(goodbye)**_ end it all, _**(goodbye)**_ into the ocean _**(goodbye)**_ end it all, _**(goodbye)**_ into the ocean _**(goodbye)**_ end it all. _**(goodbye)"**

Her voice is so soft, it's an echo within itself, and such a nice addition. I forgot how much I liked listening to Sakura sing, even if it was only a small line.

**"I want to swim away but don't know how. Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean. Let the waves up take me down, let the hurricane set in motion yeah. Let the rain of what I feel right now come down. Let the rain come down.** _Into the ocean,_** Into space, **_ Into the ocean end it all, Into the ocean end it all, Into the ocean end it all, _**I thought of just your face. **_Into the ocean end it all, into the ocean end it all._**"**

And again with the ear-splitting noise and blinding light. Syaoran was cracking up next to me, Sakura looking blissful and proud, I wasn't sure how Kunogi was fairing, too afraid that if I turned around everything would just disappear, that this would all be a dream and I'd be breaking that barrier between reality and unconscious hopes.

I smiled at my own childish stupidity, of wanting to hold onto something so bad that I was willing to ignore it.

A jolt down my spine and then I knew. Watanuki was here and everything was going to be okay.

Everything was real.

I took another glance at Syaoran to see if he noticed anything, but he just strummed a few cords before looking back at me, an ignorant smile on his face.

Truth be told, now that I knew Watanuki was here, I was somewhat unsure about the next song, how he would interpret it, how it would effect him. It was the first thing I wrote after he left. I was in a state of anger, though none of it showed. I was truly distressed, I couldn't wrap my head around him just leaving without even telling us goodbye.

It scared me how anyone could just desert others like that. I hope he can see that, that he really affected me...us.

**"Don't be so scared, we will not leave you unlike you've been doing for weeks. So you're selfish, and I'm sorry, when I'm gone you'll be going nowhere fast, nowhere fast, nowhere fast."**

Then a small instrumental, Syaoran seemed to enjoy it more than other songs, maybe because it was more of a plucking sound, it really allowed him to move through the music than to just hit cords and strum down on it.

**"Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you, cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me and, near death, last breath, and barely hanging on would you believe me if I said I didn't need you?"**

In all truth, I wouldn't believe it, if Watanuki could truly say that he didn't need us, because, apparently according to all the secret claims I've heard from both Yuko and Mr. Smith, we're the ones they chose to help him, we're the only ones who can.

Or maybe that's just something I'm holding onto in order to anchor myself to something. To give me a reason, to drive me forward. Ground me into reality.

**"Don't be so scared to take a second for reflection. To take a leave of absence see what you're made of. So I'm selfish, and you're sorry, when I'm gone you'll be going nowhere fast, so whose selfish and whose sorry? Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me and. Near death, last breath, and barely hanging on. Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you? Someone somewhere said some things that may have sparked some sympathy, but don't believe, don't believe a word you've heard about me."**

It still really irked me that Watanuki couldn't trust us enough, that he felt the need to sneak behind our backs, and personally, I'm really glad that he's here to hear all of this and I hope he gets the message.

**"Don't be so scared, it's harder for me, don't be so scared. Don't be so scared, it's harder for me, don't be so scared, it's harder for me. Don't be so scared, it's harder for me, don't be so scared. Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me. Near death, last breath and barely hanging on. Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you? Someone somewhere said some things that may have sparked some sympathy, but don't believe, don't believe a word you've heard. Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you cause I wouldn't believe you, wouldn't believe you now, would you believe me if I said I didn't need you cause I wouldn't believe you, wouldn't believe you now."**

Hmm, I think I could get used to this whole 'applause' thing. It's really gratifying.

I felt a lot lighter than I had the past month, as if I finally got everything off my chest. I smirked. And now it was our turn to see what Watanuki's reaction is. How he'll fit into this, what his answer is to our plea.

Syaoran turned to me while the audience still continued in thier exclamations, his look as stern as ever. "We really don't have to do this, we can just skip the next song, it's alright."

I just looked at him, as if what he was saying was completely mind blowing. "Or we could just do it and see how it plays out."

Syaoran opened his mouth to protest but was quickly cut off as Kunogi started off the drums. A hard tapping against the metal frame and we started into the music again.

**"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare, the shadow in the background of the moor. The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley we can live like Jack and Sally if we want. Where you can always find me, and we'll have Halloween on Christmas, and in the night we'll wish this never ends. We'll wish this never ends. I miss you miss you. I miss you miss you."**

And now we waited, to see if Watanuki would step to the plate, to see if my intuition was correct.

The tension built and then the most wonderful of sounds was heard from somewhere in front of me. The voice I had been missing for the past weeks, been craving without me even knowing it.

"Where are you? And I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight. I need somebody and always. This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting every time and as I stared I counted, the webs from all the spiders catching things and eating their insides. Like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason, will you come home and stop this pain tonight **stop this pain tonight? **Don't waist your time on me you're already the voice inside my head.** I miss you miss you. **Don't waist your time on me you're already the voice inside my head.** I miss you miss you."**

Slowly there was a ripple in the crowd as one Watanuki Kimihiro pushed his way through numerous bodies to make his way to the front.

There was the most deadly glare in those wonderful eyes, a clearly displeased pout on those perfect lips. I couldn't help but smile down at him, forgetting about playing, not that it truly mattered, the small intermission carried on without me as I reached out to the angered adolescent. Watanuki examined my hand, much like he had on the first day we met, all those days ago back in the recording studio. Only this time he returned the smile grabbing the hand fully, allowing me to pull him onto stage.

We stood there, our hands held between our chest, just sort of staring at each other as the instrumental dwindled down. Watanuki's smile became more determined, as if he had finally made his decision before he nodded once, letting go of the hand.

And we were all in perfect sync as we finished the song.

"Don't waist your time on me you're already the voice inside my head.** I miss you miss you. **Don't waist your time on me you're already the voice inside my head.** I miss you miss you.** Don't waist your time on my you're already the voice inside my head.**I miss you miss you.** Don't waist your time on me you're already the voice inside my head.** I miss you miss you. I miss you miss you. I miss you miss you. I miss you miss you."**

And yet, no one seemed fazed by the sudden addition to the group, people lapping it up and letting us know.

Watanuki smiled and waved, taking a few steps back to where he stood even with me, still smiling his hand swaying above his head, an angry undertone in his voice. "What the hell where you thinking?" He demanded, and I smirked.

"I wasn't really." I stated blandly, catching the sideways glance the shorter adolescent gave me.

The cheering started to die down, and I just looked at Watanuki, whose eyes held no anger, betraying his voice. "What now?" He asked and I shrugged. "It's up to you."

I could feel the anger filling him, his shoulders hitching, the tell tale signs that Watanuki was on the verge of throwing a fit.

I could hear Sakura laughing, Kunogi banging on a single standing drum a few times. A few moments of the anger just building, Watanuki's hairs standing on end.

"FINE!" He stated finally, grabbing the mic on the stand, leaning into it as we continued on.

"Wake up, my love. Never thought you'd make me break me. Now I'm up, from below, such a brilliant star you are. And will your love keep burning baby, burn a hole right through my eyes. All these short times feel like no time and I thought you ought know. I'm so far gone now, I've been running on empty, I'm so far gone now, do you wanna take me on? Do you wanna take me on?"

It was truly amazing, that without us ever needing to practice it together, Watanuki was able to grasp the entire feel of a song simply from reading it. He could tweak it and manipulate it to his own desires, to what was really necessary. How he added verbrado to words, whispered some, changed his tone and pitch.

I loved that voice.

"Do, do you, do you know? Do you know how long I've waited? To look up from below, just to find someone like you. And will your love light burn me baby, burn a hole right through my heart, I think I might just trust you maybe, but I'm not sure...I'm not sure I'd want to know. I'm so far gone now, I've been running on empty. I'm so far gone now, do you wanna take me on? I'm so far gone now, I've been running on empty. I'm so far gone now. Do you wanna take me on? Do you wanna take me on? I think you could make me girl, could make me take my life. I know you could break me girl, take all of me. All of me."

And I had forgotten just how high Watanuki's voice could get. Another smirk, I just couldn't help it.

"Wake up, my love, never thought you'd make me break me. Now I'm up, from below, such a brilliant star you are. I'm so far gone now, I've been running on empty, I'm so far gone now. Do you wanna take me on? I'm so far gone, I've been running on empty, I'm so far gone now. Do you wanna take me on? Do you wanna take me...on?"

And if I thought I had heard ear-splitting, surely it was nothing compared to how wild the crowd went after Watanuki had finished singing.

Somehow, though, Watanuki was much more capable of handling the audience then I was, he was charming and people just seemed to gravitate to what he did, to what he would show them. All he had to do was smile and the crowd would swoon for him.

He looked over to me, and without words we both knew what the other was saying. I nodded lazily, Watanuki turning back to the mic.

And then he just lets us take it away, not hogging the lime-light, not craving that five more seconds of attention. Completely egoless, it was nice to see.

A gradual intro, a soft beat and a comforting tune. I could feel my cheeks heating up, thinking about the total emotional epiphany I had while writing it.

**"Brainstorm take me away from the norm. I've got to tell you something, this phenomenon I had to put it in a song and it goes like: Woah, amber is the color of your energy, woah shades of gold displayed naturally. You ought to know what brings me here. You glide through my head blind to fear, ****and I know why. Woah, amber is the color of your energy. Woah, shades of gold displayed naturally."**

The realization that I was in love with Watanuki, and that having him back was the most important thing to me for the past month. I caught the few glances that he threw at me, and I was almost a hundred percent positive that he was aware of my feelings.

**"Woah, amber is the color of your energy. Woah, shades of gold displayed naturally.**** You live too ****far away.**** Your voice rings like a bell ****anyway.**** Don't give up your independence, unless ****it feels so right.**** Nothing good comes easily, ****sometimes you've got to fight. Woah, amber is the color of your energy, woah, shades of gold displayed naturally.**** Launched a thousand ships in my heart, ****so easy.**** Still it's fine from afar, ****and you know that: Woah, **** Brainstorm take me away from the norm. ****Woah.**** I got to tell you something."**

Our final segment of applause, we were all breathing heavily, coming down from the pure adrenaline rush this had caused. Watanuki was the first to recover, though he was gulping down air in between words.

"Well, it's about time we wrapped up, so we hope that you've had a good time and you'll get home safely. Thanks again."

And the crowd cheered, Watanuki scratching the back of his head with that same smile on his face. The audience didn't stop and Watanuki looked to us as if it had finally hit him. He took a step back, grabbing my hand and then Sakura's in the other. He kept glaring at me, and I quirked an eyebrow at him for a few moments before the light-bulb went off.

I grabbed Syaoran's hand, Kunogi gripping his.

Hands above our heads, count to three, bow, count to three, then up, count to three, and let go.

We all walked off the stage, an accomplished air around us. The audience's applause was still heard, even off stage.

The same woman who had told us when it was time to go on rushed over to where we stood. "That was great you guys. Congratulations." She stated, handing us each a bottle of water and a towel, though she seemed rather hesitant while handing Watanuki his.

Watanuki brushed it off, cracking open the top of his water and taking a few gulps.

"Can you believe it?! Can you believe what we just did?!" Sakura exclaimed happily, bobbing up and down on her heels.

Another loud gulp, but it went largely unnoticed.

Syaoran smiled at her, "Well, yea, I mean we just did it."

She stuck her tongue out at him. Watanuki's bottle was half empty.

"It was really great though wasn't it?" Kunogi asked, agreeing with Sakura's energy. I shrugged.

The water was almost completely gone, Watanuki's pale neck moving with the ferocity of his drinking.

A large sigh, the bottle being torn from Watanuki's mouth, followed by an even bigger explosion.

"YOU FREAKING IDIOT!" The teenager exclaimed, "What were you going to do if I didn't show up, huh?! Do you have any idea how it would've screwed up everything?! Your reputation?! Your credibility! God! I can't believe Yuko agreed to this, I can't believe that _I_ let you do it!"

Literal clouds of steam were puffing from the top of Watanuki's head, and we all looked at him in an unfazed manner. Sakura smiled, Kunogi giggled, Syaoran let the matter go.

Blue eyes examined us desperately, as if expecting one of us to apologize or something.

His eyes narrowed on me and I looked back at him, noticing how his face seemed thinner than the last time I saw him, that there were distinct bags under his eyes.

Undernourished and unable to sleep. We'd have to do something about that later.

I was brought back from my thoughts, realizing that the charcoal-haired being of anger was still scrutinizing me.

I let out a breath, as if having to talk was the lamest thing I've ever had to do in my life. "You came didn't you? What the problem?"

"Huh? What do you mean 'What's the problem'? You're the problem, you and your stupid....dumb...head! Don't you understand how freaking _risky_ what you just did was? Didn't you even _think _of the consequences?"

I thought for a few moments before shrugging. "No." I stated simply.

"YOU HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT?!" Watanuki demanded, and then Kunogi and Sakura both broke down in a fit of giggles.

"Oh, you two are such good friends." The female with ebony hair said happily, causing Watanuki to fume even more....if that was physically possible.

"Himawari! How could have let this stupid oaf go on with it?" He asked in a whining tone. She tilted her head curiously at him. "But it was so fun." She said simply.

"Ugh! That's it, I give up. There's no making sense with you guys." The prodigy relented. I smirked.

"Good." I said, not quite to myself, walking by the cooling-down Watanuki. He heard it, the flame starting up again.

"And where in the Hell are you going?" He demanded, pointing at me in an accusatory manner. "Home." I replied back, glancing over my shoulder.

"WHAT?!" He demanded in return and the smirk just grew wider. I continued walking, waving to everyone else by putting my hand up just above my shoulder.

"Bye Shizuka, see you tomorrow." Sakura called, waving enthusiastically. Watanuki gawked at her. She looked at him in the same curious manner Kunogi had. "What?" She asked sweetly.

"You're...just gonna let him go like that?"

Sakura smiled, "Mmhmm, we'll have fun again tomorrow, so it's okay."

"But," He glanced over at Syaoran, "but you just..." over to Kunogi, "Oh never mind!" The adolescent stated, turning away from them and running after where I had just left.

--

AN: Hmmm....so yeah. I'm expecting to do some much needed fan-service in the next chapter....hmhm, so look forward to that.

I hope that you liked this chapter, and the music didn't rub anyone the wrong way.

Please review! Until next Time!

A-n-B


	14. Haunted

A/N: Nya-nya-nya, Look, another chapter!! Oh the excitement, how it mounts! Well, firstly I wanted to say that I'm really happy that so many of you expressed your approval of the music in the last chapter, it really made me smile. Secondly, if you guys have any songs to recommend, don't hesitate to shout them out! Uhmmmmm.....thirdly.....OH! right! I drew a xxxHolic pic on my deviant art account, I just got a drawing tablet and so i'm slowly weaseling my way into photoshop....slowly, it's so hard!! SO check it out if you want, it has absolutely no relevance to this story though...it's at: http://undrnoted-philosophy[dot]deviantart[dot]com/art/outrage-ous-rainbows-126514000

Finally!! I realized that I didn't full explain something in earlier chapters, but AntiPro stands for Antiprophets, which is relevant to me because (and you'll know if you've watched or read x/1999) the entire premise of the story where Kamui and Fuuma come from is them fulfilling the prophecies given to them, but I really felt that they were making their own fate, their own destiny, despite what the prophecies said...so thus the name.

ON TO THE CHAPTER!!

**WARNING: MALExMALE kissing!! squeel with me now...squeel!!**

Chapter 14: Haunted (yes reference to Evanescence)

--

I heard rushed footsteps behind me, but I didn't turn around.

"Doumeki!" He called out and I smirked, turning the corner and exiting the alley, walking out onto a deserted street.

"Doumeki! Stop." Came the call again, though with a far more agitated edge, I could practically picture Watanuki's angry face.

I could tell he was closer, but still my walking pace seemed to keep us at a good distance. Watanuki was panting rather heavily, probably tired from traveling and the strain of having to perform.

"Dammit Doumeki! Stop means stop!" The boy yelled, his steps stopping and I turned around finally to see a hunched over Watanuki, trying to catch his breath by leaning on his knees.

The only sound between us was Watanuki's breathing and the sound of a distant freeway.

"Did....did you mean it?" Watanuki asked silently, his eyes searching the ground. I felt my heart stop in my chest, my eyes widening minutely.

"What you wrote...did you really mean it?" He asked again, his voice more desperate. I took a step closer.

"Yes." I stated simply, and Watanuki's entire frame went rigid. "Why?"

I stopped approaching him. Watanuki stood fully, his eyes glistening, "Why?" He asked again.

"Because."

Watanuki let out an exasperated sigh.

"Dammit....Then why the hell did I come? Why do you even _matter_ to me?! Huh? Answer me that you freaking stupi-" Watanuki's rant was cut off.

I placed a hand on his cheek, "Because you need us," both hands framing his thin face, his perfect blue eyes brimming with tears, "we need you," I hadn't noticed how soft Watanuki's skin was, or the fact that his hands were gripping tightly to the outside of mine.

"_I _need you." I breathed against his lips, our eyes slidding shut in perfect harmony as I brought my lips to his.

Lips that held in such wonderful sounds, lips so deliciously soft I couldn't imagine how I had lived without them my entire life.

Watanuki added pressure, fully giving into the caress, and I felt wetness on my hands. We stayed like that, in our second lip-lock, neither of us willing to pull away.

The city just faded around us, I couldn't really recall if my feet were placed firmly on the concrete or if I was lying down. I breathed in through my nose, wanting this moment to last longer as a thumb gently wiped the salty tears from fragile skin.

But, things always come to an end, and so did the kiss. Lips parted, but I could still feel Watanuki's breath on mine. I opened my eyes and was met by the gradual revealing of blue irises.

There was a small smile on Watanuki's face, his eyes brimmed in wetness. "Feel better." I asked, though my tone made it sound like more of a statement.

"I guess." He said, a clearly kidding tone in his voice. Then there was nothing left to be said, my hands still held against Watanuki's warmed cheeks.

Then the silence grew and lingered, turning into something distinctly awkward.

Apparently, Watanuki's usual mannerisms had caught up with him, because my hands were quickly pushed away as if they had burnt the younger, and he quickly brushed off his cheeks as if trying to remove a visible mark.

I smirked, turning back around. I started walking, but then quickly stopped.

"How long are you staying?" I asked, not really wanting to see the expression on Watanuki's face. The boy was still in the same place, his melodic voice carrying itself to my ears.

"A month."

--

_'NEW FACES AND ONE WE ONCE KNEW'_

_For those of you fortunate enough to be present for the complete surprise that was born at the ALEX theater last night, I congratulate you. _

_For those sorry souls who missed it, I can only reprimand you on your excuses for being absent._

_It is a truly humbling experience to be able witness the creation of something mind blowing, but it is an entirely different scenario when that creation is nameless and unknown._

_An anonymous group of four unidentified took to the ALEX's timeless stage and delivered one of the most enriching concerts I have experienced in an extremely long length of time. With new music of varying genres, there is no doubt in this wise mind that we shall be hearing from those four soon._

_However, not only were the sounds to die for, but so was their addition._

_The only face which could be made out of the four was in fact a fifth. A now fully grown Kimihiro Watanuki made a surprise appearance after his five year absence, emerging from the audience, voice blaring. For those of you who have been hiding under a rock for the past half-decade, let me explain._

_As many of us know, the infamous Chicago band AntiPROphETs were the first to discover Kimihiro when he was at the tender age of thirteen. Though the acceptance of this discovery was scattered, there was no denying the talent which was brought fourth._

_However, with the band's separation, the young voice disappeared from the music scene leaving a bitter taste in all our ears._

_And now, with the rumors of AntiPRO's reunion and new album which have been flying collectively from blog-to-blog, I, for once, am none-the-wiser to the actual accuracy of these murmurs._

_But, to say the least, that sour taste has now been completely cleansed and I excitedly await hearing what that young voice has blossomed into, as well as who his new companions are as well._

_Is this another band awaiting disaster and destruction by a tormented soul?_

_Or, my fellow listeners, is it the revival of something we thought died in the 80s? Actual performance-ship._

_Only time and our headphones can tell._

_Stay plugged into L.A.'s music happenings, we never know when they'll show up again._

_Listen closely ~Unplugged_

"What the hell is that?" I asked, completely in a state of mute shock.

Kunogi looked thoughtfully at her phone. "I don't know, Yuko sent me this link. It's some sort of blog."

Sakura sat indian-style in her chair, a dainty finger on her chin, Syaoran leaning back in his chair next to her with his hands behind his head, his face in the same curious manner as Sakura's.

The tiny girl turned to Watanuki, who sat with his legs against his chest, chin on his knees. It seemed as if his eyes were a bit darker, almost void, causing something to dysfunction in my chest.

"What do you think?" She asked, her usually upbeat tone adjusting into a sympathetic one. Watanuki's head sorta twitched up, as if being brought back from a daydream, "Huh, oh, well....it's a generally good critique for a first performance." He stated with a weak smile. We all looked at him questioningly.

"You do know who Unplugged is....right?" He asked. We all shook our heads. The facial expression we received clearly read: 'well that makes sense.'

Watanuki stretched out one leg in his chair, yawning, before he continued. "Unplugged is just a screen-name for James Andrew who's a retired columnist that used to work for Rolling Stones magazine. After his retirement he started up a music blog and his posts are highly regarded both professionally and amateur-ly."

We still looked at him, not really grasping the importance of this. "Are....are you kidding me?" He asked skeptically. A big sigh. "It's saying that you guys did well, the fact hat James didn't have anything to complain about means that, for nobodies, you did _extremely_ well. Get it?"

"Oh. Well that's good then." Kunogi said happily, sliding her phone shut and putting it in her pocket.

I leaned up against the wooden table we all sat around. "What did it mean that your acceptance was scattered?" I asked, though as usual, my voice was void of an actual question.

That same darker shade of blue planted itself in Watanuki's eyes. He pulled his legs back up to his chest. "There were a lot of people, fans of course, who felt that I ruined Antipro, or to be more specific, that I was the reason that they broke up. It's understandable, I suppose, since the true reason was never told to the public..." Watanuki started laughing to himself, though it was such a sad sound, it shouldn't have even qualified as laughing, "One time, we got some fan-letters, and...and these people were writing threats, like literal threats of bodily harm, to Kamui and Fuuma, and they just laughed. They thought it was so funny that they actually took the time to reply to each of those letters, saying something like: 'We appreciate your concern, enjoy this complimentary ticket to our next show,'..." Watanuki trailed off, smirking nostalgically to himself. "They were just so sure of what they were doing, so confident."

"You miss them a lot don't you." I replied, not able to look the adolescent in the face.

"A whole lot, ya."

The blue turned a little lighter.

--

"So what's on the agenda today guys?" Lionel asked as we walked back into the studio, stomachs full of cafe food.

I shrugged, Sakura was laying in the corner, her head in Kunogi's lap, Syaoran leaning against the wall next to them. "We're all done, he's the only one left with stuff to record."

Watanuki looked at me skeptically, his eyes reading: 'yeah, pfff, right.' Lionel laughed at our interactions. "He's right Kimi, they've been done for a week, they were just waiting on you."

"Are you serious Ly? And you approve, it's good?"

The ginger-haired man laughed again, leaning back in his leather rolling chair. "Yeah man, it's all legit stuff, I really didn't have to do anything."

Watanuki ran a hand through his unruly black hair. "Alright then, what do you want to do first?"

--

Four hours later and we were leaving Lattice.

All of us.

Together.

"Hmmm," Sakura hummed, "What do you wanna do for our birthdays this year Syaoran?"

Syaoran looked at her with a blush, "Uhm, well, whatever you want is fine with me..."

Watanuki giggled to himself, he seemed to really enjoy the two youngest's sweetly-innocent relationship, "When's your birthday?"

"April 1st," The two of them answered simultaneously. Watanuki's mouth fell slack, his sapphire eyes widening, "Are you serious?" He asked, voice dripping with disbelief.

"Mmhmm, why? Is something wrong?" Sakura asked, tilting her head. Watanuki shook his quickly, "No, no, it's just...." He looked back at her, giving the young girl one of his small, happy smiles, "That's my birthday too."

Sakura gasped, "Really Kimihiro!? That's so wonderful! We can all celebrate together! Oh wow! What a small world huh?"

Watanuki scratched the back of his head warrily. "Haha, yeah, I guess it is..."

"We'll just have to do something extra special then, right Shizuka?" Kunogi asked quietly so that I would be the only one to hear it.

I continued to watch the three who were walking in front of us, smiling and laughing. "Seems so..."

I could still feel Kunogi's stare on me before she giggled, lifting a manicured hand to her lips. "When were you planning on telling us?"

I quirked an eyebrow at her, "Telling you what?"

She smiled, "About you and Watanuki of course." My eyes widened slightly, evidence that she had hit the nail on the head. "I think that you'll be good for each other." She stated reassuringly.

I was silent for a few moments, eyeing Watanuki's back, the way his hair flowed, the length of his legs....

"I hope so."

"Shizuka!" Sakura yelled happily, turning around to face the two of us who had been falling behind. I looked at her, indicating that she could continue.

"Let's go to the Pier! We can drive out to Santa Monica for the day, how does that sound?" She asked enthusiastically, smiling and tugging on Watanuki's arm. I looked at the four of them, before shrugging. "Sounds good."

"So Saturday then?" Syaoran asked. We all nodded in agreement. Sakura let out a barely stifled yawn. "Well alright then, ready to head home Syaoran?"

"Yeah. Let's get home."

The two of them waved their goodbyes as they walked off.

"See you two around," Kunogi said, waving and walking down another street. "Bye Himawari!" Watanuki yelled after her until she was out of sight.

A few seconds passed, Watanuki's happy demeanor sort of falling into a content stance. I placed a hand on his shoulder and the thin frame went ridged.

"What are you doing?" The younger asked through grit teeth.

I just shrugged, bringing my hand down to his waist, tracing my fingers along his side on the way down. He visibly shivered.

I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm hungry."

Shoulder's hitched up to the adolescent's ears, squishing my face in. "AND WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?!"

"Feed me, isn't that sort of a given?" I asked uncaringly, standing up and crossing one leg over the other.

Watanuki turned to me, his legs in a lunging position, his face contorted in anger. It seemed as if he was internally debating on the best means of telling me exactly how angry he was, but he couldn't quite manage to phrase it.

He huffed once, turning around and walking towards the parking lot.

He got about fifteen feet before he turned back around. "Well are you coming or what?!"

I smirked. "I guess."

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

--

We pulled up to Watanuki's house, right on the southwest corner of North Highland Blvd. and Beverly Blvd.

However, what we saw there when we got out of the car made me just want to cover Watanuki's eyes, guard him from another hardship that was befalling his life.

"Oh God..." The boy breathed, his eyes wide as he gapped at his home.

"...this is awful."

--

A/N: (le gasp) another cliff hanger??? Yes....yes it is. XD

But look! I gave you directions to Watanuki's house!! I was out in L.A. last week and i saw this house for sale and i clapped my hands in excitement, my mother looking at me curiously.

"What is it?" She asks. I smile, "It's Watanuki's house!!" She sorta looked at me for a few moments before letting it go and changing the radio station. XD true story.

You can look it up on google maps and then hit Satillite, it will show u the top of the house, but i swear it looks good from ground level! Just type in Highland Blvd and Beverly, Los Angeles. It'll come up.

See You Next Chapter!! reviews make me write smuttier moments!

A-n-B


	15. Iris

A/N: WEEEEE, another chapter!! So yeah, I'm very proud of myself, I updated ahead of time, yep the pride how it fills me! SO! Before I let you continue on, I just wanted to thank everyone once again for you're amazing reviews, they really make this whole writing thing all the more rewarding...SO THANK YOU! You are dismissed.

Disclaimer: I own nothing NOTHING!

**Chapter 15: Iris** (yep, listen to this song while you read, it will [possibly] bring tears to your eyes. It's by the Goo Goo Dolls for those of you who live under the ocean)

--

Sometimes, things happen in life that we can't always give logic to.

"Oh God..."

Sometimes, things will happen to you, and yet, no matter how much you try to figure out _why_ you're still left without an answer.

"...this is awful."

Graffiti and broken windows, my door ripped off the hinge. I could only vaguely imagine the damage done inside.

_'USELESS' 'HACK JOB' 'DISAPPEAR' _But to me all of the angry words only screamed one thing: Murderer.

I understood why this had happened, a small part of me expecting it. This was one of my payments, this was the publics only means of taking out their anger and I was okay with that.

But the memories, the flashes of recollection, that this brought to the surface. The screaming laughter, the gun shots......they're still ringing in my ears.

I squared my chin, steeling myself. There was no use in living in the past, that's why I'm here.

I felt a warm solid lace with my fingers, and I was snapped out of my internal isolation, realizing that Doumeki was here to witness this too.

I wasn't alone this time.

I didn't _have _to be alone anymore.

My chest swelled, and I clenched that hand tighter.

"Watan-" I desperately wrapped my arms around Doumeki's firm neck, burring my head into a broad shoulder.

And for the first time in my life, I allowed myself consolation.

Everything was just happening too quickly, the recordings, the friendship, the _emotions_.

I started whimpering, completely abandoning all sense of dignity or pride. "Why? What did I do, what did I do?" I asked into a slowly dampening shirt, my voice muffled and breaking.

I felt arms around me. Enveloping, protective, but nothing needy. They were supportive, _nurturing._ Something that I needed, just a solid surface to tie me to reality. So that I wouldn't disappear into nothing again, so I wouldn't break down on myself.

Doumeki placed his head atop my hair, breathing into me. My shoulders hitched, my eyes burning with years of unshed tears.

"It's not fair, it's not..." I cried again, while Doumeki made small shushing noises, running a strong hand through my hair. "It's all my fault."

The arms tightened. "It's not." He stated, but his voice was softer than it's usual tone.

I held on tighter and I could feel my fingertips biting into the skin of the other hand.

"Why Doumeki?" I asked, somehow convinced that he would have all the answers, that he could give me a reason, _logic_.

He pulled away from me, gripping my shoulders and looking me deeply in the eyes. Though his face didn't give away his unease, the shaking of his hands did.

He was just as shaken up over this as I was, even though, truly, it had nothing to do with him.

"They don't understand." He said, bringing one of those enticing hands up to run down the side of my cheeks. His piercing amber eyes softened.

It was like he was some wandering angel, just so amazingly beautiful, I couldn't believe that he was somehow related to the species who had done such heinous acts on my home.

A few more tears traced their way down my cheek, hanging precariously off my chin. I took my sleeve and quickly wiped it clean, taking in a deep breath.

"Ready?" Doumeki asked, taking up residence with my hand again.

I didn't even put up a struggle. "Yeah."

We walked up to where the door hung precariously against the door-frame and its torn support.

"I'm here."

I squeezed that hand. "I know."

--

"Find anything?" Doumeki asked, walking into yet another completely trashed room.

I pulled a heap of torn curtains off of the ground, only to be shown more shattered possessions. I sighed heavily, "No."

He placed a reassuring hand in the middle of my back. I turned to him, a small part of my mind mumbling something about me not following my duties of being completely aggressive towards the conundrum that is Doumeki.

"Pack some clothes," My stoic companion stated, handing me a leather bag he found somewhere in one of my closets. "You're staying over at my-"

_'...And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand...'_

"Hello?" I asked into my phone after sliding it open.

"Hey Kim, are you okay? I just had this weird feeling...." Came Ted's panicked voice on the other line.

Ted had always had a good intuition about these sort of things, like when I needed something or was having difficulty with coping. About which groups would do Lattice justice.

"Uhm....that's a tough question..." I mumbled hesitantly. His E.S.P. always creeped me out.

"What happened!? I'm coming over!"

"Ted! Ted, I'm fine, everything's....uh, well, things _have _been better, but it's okay, don't worry about it." I tried to console, not wanting to make a big deal out of this...though it was a big deal.

Knowing Ted he would scrounge up every single piece of evidence left at the scene of this crime and personally hunt down the people who did it. I'll only allow myself to be fouled by his docile exterior once.

"Don't lie to me Kim, I'm on my way."

"NO! Really, it's fine. We can solve this all in the morning-"

"But Kim-"

"I'm tired, I'm going to be at Doumeki's for awhile, so don't call the house 'kay?"

The older male on the receiving end knew what my change of tone meant, he knew that I had made my decision and that there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He sighed, and I could practically hear him running a hand through his hair.

"Alright. Tomorrow then. But no later! Got it?" Ted demanded, a softened tone in his voice, almost as if he was giving his son a scolding.

"Yeah Ted, Goodnight." I said, not noticing the smile that took over my lips.

"Night Kim. Stay safe."

I hung up, looking at the phone for a few moments with a content smile, before realizing that: 'Oh right, I'm not the only person in this room.'

I turned to Doumeki, not really wanting to see his expression. However, when I did look, I was relatively unsurprised, nothing physical had changed, but I could tell that something was bothering him.

...how I could tell, I wasn't really sure.

I took in a deep breath, before allowing myself to smile directly at Doumeki. He returned my smile with an unwavering gaze.

I started to walk out the door, towards my bedroom to see if I could salvage any clothing, but I was stopped when the older male spoke.

"What they said," He started, his voice clear and powerful though the actual tone was even, controlled, "it's all lies."

I felt a jolt up my spine. To hear that from someone, it just seemed so unreal. I hadn't realized how truly affected I was by the words, by the stained negativity until Doumeki reassured me otherwise.

It was hard for me to believe it, and I could feel the tears pool behind my eyes.

I wiped my eyes quickly, letting out a soft chuckle.

And then Doumeki was behind me, his firm arms around my waste. "Trust me."

My eyes widened.

Then they slid shut, my free hand going to grasp the outside of the person holding me so earnestly.

And I trusted.

--

A/N: Aw, wasn't that just sweet? Yeah, I know it was a quick little chapter, but I like how it ended so I didn't force more into it. So...yessum. I did another doodle if anyone cares to see it! It's at: http://undrnoted-philosophy[dot]deviantart[dot]com/art/Live-Like-Jack-And-Sally-128782044

It's based off of the song 'I Miss You' which I used two chapters ago. Go take a look and comment if you would be so kind.

PLEASE REVIEW! But you already know that XD Until Next Time! A-n-B


	16. Love Hurts

A/N: Weeee! Regular updating pace! XD SO yeah, this chapter is kinda a filler chapter and it was made especially for yuMeNami. Thank you for being so patient and gibing me your request! And with that...ENJOY!

Disclaimer/Songs Used: Everything belongs to their rightful owners (except Ted, he's mine ye pirates)

**Love Hurts- Incubus** (The chorus works really well for canon DouWata)

**Chapter 16: Love Hurts**

--

It was surprising.

Despite the catastrophe that ended our day it was the first time that I had slept soundly since--

But still, even though I was comfortable, when 4:00 a.m. came around I was wide awake. Damn internal clock.

I sat up from the couch, which was my decided bed after much debating with an insistent Watanuki.

_"No really, it's your house, so I should take the couch."_

_I shrugged, defiantly taking a seat on the leather upholstery, laying back and closing my eyes. Watanuki stood a little to the right, his hands clutched around a borrowed pillow in anger. _

_"Fine! If your neck freaking aches in the morning I don't care. Goodnight!"_

_But the boy stopped before he entered my room. "Thank you." He stated quietly, probably hoping that I wouldn't hear it._

I stood, stretching a bit, allowing my spine to pop back into it's usual structure before I walked to the restroom.

I stopped though due to the faint sound of soft breathing which reached my ears. The bedroom entrance was open just the smallest bit and I glanced in.

Watanuki lay comfortably, sleeping blissfully on his side. I don't think I've ever seen him so content.

...and the fact that he was sleeping so defenselessly wasn't really helping either.

I shook my head, willing away the less noble thoughts that began to drift through my head.

Bathroom. Right.

--

I had been up for about two hours now, Watanuki still sleeping soundly.

I grabbed my guitar, heading for the roof, hoping that the crisp morning air would help me clear my head.

All of my thoughts seemed to stray to Watanuki. _'Is he okay?' 'What's he thinking?' 'How long could I sit watching him before he wakes up?'_

I took a seat against one of the various cement blocks that structured the top of the building. A deep breath, the cold nothingness seeping into my lungs.

Exhale.

The melody had been playing in my head for awhile now, it was nice to just strum along to something and slowly fall into it.

Humming just naturally followed suit until words started to make themselves known, creating something unconsciously.

**"Tonight we drink to youth and holding fast to truth. Don't wanna lose what I had as a boy. My heart still has a beat, but love is now a feat. As common as a cold day in L.A. Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder: 'Is there a spell that I am under keeping me from saying the real thing?'"**

It's crazy how the lyrics just sorta popped out of nowhere, the music not really coming from me, but _through_ me.

**"Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive. Love sings when it transcends the bad things. Have a heart and try me 'cause without love I won't survive. I'm fettered and abused, stand naked and accused. Should I surface this one man submarine? I only want the truth, so tonight we drink to youth. I'll never lose what I had as a boy. Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder: 'Is there a spell that I am under keeping me from saying the real thing?'"**

Flashes of Watanuki's home flowed through my mind --completely independent from the thoughts driving the song--, of how similar it was to my memories from all those years ago.

My grandfather's smiling face, and that awful fire. Nothing left but ashes.

**"Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive. Love sings when it transcends the bad things. Have a heart and try me 'cause without love I won't survive. Withou-"**

"Doumeki?"

I turned to look where the voice sounded, not the least bit alarmed like someone other than myself would be.

"What are you doing?" Watanuki asked sleepily, rubbing his right eye. I looked down at my guitar than back at him. "Running a marathon."

"Ah." Came Watanuki's sarcastic remark. Apparently he wasn't all that snippy in the morning, which was odd considering that the majority of the population probably were most definitely not considered morning people. Or maybe that was it, too tired to be angry.

He walked over to where I sat, taking a seat in front of me on the floor. "New song?" He asked again. I nodded. "It's nice."

Watanuki smiled up at me. "Keep going." Was his singular command.

And I did just that, continuing the strumming, the singing.

Gradually the song waned, and I had completely forgotten that I had gained an audience...

That is, until said audience was pushing his lips against mine, until his sweetly distinct scent cut through the morning air.

I was somewhat taken back by Watanuki's assertiveness, the fact that he would initiate it. Not being one to complain though, I complied, my eyes sliding shut.

I could feel Watanuki's hands against my knees, keeping him steady as he continued to delve into out lip-lock. I could feel _him_ and God....I needed that. I needed _him. So badly._

Our lips collided again and again, never relenting, but never too demanding, nothing too adventurous.

We were comfortable with where we were right now, comfortable with each other. Watanuki sucked in a shaky breath as he pulled away.

He looked at me with firm searching eyes, and I continued to stare at him --though I'm sure my expression had not changed as dramatically as Watanuki's, what with the flushed cheeks and slightly wet pout.

I just couldn't resist him anymore, those damn infuriating lips, the haphazard strands of hair falling around his face perfectly. My right hand left the guitar, bee-lining straight for the back of Watanuki's neck. I pulled him forward again, sealing demanding lips over a consenting mouth.

I could feel the muscles in the back of the younger male's neck strain against the flawless skin and my fingers brushed up and down them.

And then the most wonderful sound I had ever heard from Watanuki escaped through his occupied lips.

He _moaned._ I felt my heart stop in my chest, my stomach twist into thousands of knots. "Again." I breathed, having let go of any restraint. I wanted to hear that sound over and over, put it on a skipping record that's attached to surround-sound.

There was warmth seeping from Watanuki's face, his breath coming in visible puffs as it dispersed across the freezing air.

And than that intoxicating sound came again.

And again and again as my tongue breached passed swollen lips, swimming across warm caverns. My fingers felt numb as they brushed against Watanuki's hair, pulling him closer.

I felt his hands --which had latched themselves around my neck sometime during our never ceasing embraces--clench, grasping the back of my head desperately for more leverage.

Somehow, my guitar managed to stay put, pushed between my stomach and Watanuki's pelvis.

One of my hands traced down Watanuki's spine, resting on the small of his back.

And apparently that was the wrong move, because our intense make-out session was over just as quickly as it had started.

Watanuki's hands rested slackly on my shoulders, his eyes cast down towards the decaying cement of the roof.

"I'm sorry it's just too..." The boy trailed off, not really sure of himself, his eyes determined to not meet mine.

I was in no hurry, I could wait.

"It's fine. I understand." I stated evenly, cautiously running a hand against the other's charcoal hair, curious as to how shut off I was now, wondering where my boundaries exactly were with Watanuki.

He didn't flinch or pull away, and his chin gradually lifted, a small scowl on his face.

"What kind of idiot goes to the roof at the break of dawn anyways?!"

I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What kind of idiot knows to find me on the roof at the break of dawn anyways?" I retorted, my voice much quieter than Watanuki's could ever be.

His scowl turned angry, obviously not enjoying how I used his words against him. He huffed, sitting back on his slim calves. "You seem like one of those people..."

"One of those people?" I asked, not really sure of what he meant.

Watanuki nodded. "You know, someone who hangs around on rooftops, being all philosophical, searching for their muse in the wee hours of the morning."

The other started to laugh to himself as I trained my quizzical look on him. "Though, I'm sure that you're much more earnest than others are."

He smiled at me, and the curious stare disappeared from my eyes.

It seemed like everything would be okay.

--

"They did WHAT to your house?!" Ted demanded, scaring the few other customers at the local pizza place where we decided to meet him.

Watanuki winced, "Shhh! Jesus, do you want the whole city to hear about it?"

Ted ignored Watanuki's concerns and embarrassment. "The hell I do! Kim, this is serious! It's a _crime_, we could have these people arrested! W-we could sue them for trespassing. Oh, buggery, if I could only get my hands on 'em, I'd wring their God-dam-"

"Ted! Really, listen to me. I'd rather _not-_"

The chiming of the establishment's entrance cut Watanuki off, and I almost choked on the soda I happened to be drinking at the time.

Yuko waltzed inside, with all of her dominating glory.

"Ah! Terry! Kimmy! Oh....and Doumeki too. What an odd twist of fate for us to meet like this." The woman stated happily, just inviting herself to sit with us.

"Oh come off it Yuko, you knew I was meeting Kim today." Ted stated snippily.

I never knew my boss could ever branch out of his charming personality, succumbing to the temper of a small drunken Irishman....but with a slightly British accent.

Yuko was unfazed by Ted's statement, due to it contradicting hers, and continued on. "Personally I think it is wonderful how close you two have gotten, come now, tell me all the details." The woman stated with a leer upon her lips and a shine in her eyes.

I narrowly dodged liquid-down-the-wrong-pipe once again. It was obvious that the woman was insinuating more than just our superficial relationship.

"D-d-details!?" Watanuki sputtered, going red in the cheeks, "Yuko, I have _no_ idea _what_ you're talking about."

A smirk from the cunning woman.

"Oh, but Kimmy, I was just wondering how your little 'sleep-over' went last nig-"

"HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!" The adolescent demanded, standing and pointing accusatorially towards Yuko.

The witch- and I say this because I can't think of any other explanation for her un-earthly knowings- laughed a comical 'Oh-ho-ho', only causing the sporadic Watanuki to fume more.

Just then our freckle-ridden waiter decided to pop-up, steaming trays of Italian delight hoisted over his shoulder.

"One pineapple with cheese and one...broccolini and pear?" He asked before setting the trays down.

I warily eyed the unusual choices.

_'Fruity or fruity with a slightly masculine twist?' 'I'll have the extremely fruity please.'_

Watanuki had immediately taken his seat when the waiter spoke, crossing one slender leg over the other.

He grabbed a piece of the second pizza, bringing it to his mouth to take a bite.

However, Watanuki's destined eating path was interrupted when I unconsciously --or was it conscious, I wasn't really keeping tabs- took the first bite.

The boy's eye's widened, the anger which had just recently dissipated being revived instantly.

I chewed a bit.

"Too fruity."

"What last night or this morning?" Yuko asked.

It's safe to say that the only food that was consumed was that one bite.

I'm really going to have to regulate Watanuki's temper tantrums...

And make sure that every eatery we go to from now on has its tables bolted to the ground.

--

A/N:...hmmm, I'm not really satisfied with the ending.....but it just wouldn't work with me so...THERE IT IS! Hope you liked it (and there ya go yuMeNami, some sho-ai right at'chya)

Please rate and review!

OH! And a side note! **Thank you to those anonymous reviewers who...well reviewed! They mean a lot so thanks!**

A-n-B


	17. Love, Hate, and then there's You

A/N: This chapter just kinda drops off at the end, so it might be kinda disappointing, but my plan for the next chapter will fill in the blank spots so just calm down. :D (cries.) In-N-Out took away my five years of vegetarianism.....but dang, it was worth it. XD (you'll understand later...)

Disclaimer: I own no'tin!

**Chapter 17: Love, Hate, and then there's You. **(haha, I'm stealing things from the Von Bondies :P)

--

I woke up smothered by the scent of soap and oranges in a still foreign bed.

_Doumeki's _bed to be precise.

It's not like I liked the smell or anything....

Just stating facts is all.

But it's odd, I slept so soundly these past two nights. It was as if all my worries just dissipated with my dreams. And all my dreams seemed to be centered around a certain golden-eyed guitarist.

'...I feel like I'm forgetting something...'

I quietly walked out into the small living room of Doumeki's apartment, said owner's breathing filling the air in an intoxicating pattern. I walked over to the couch were he still lay sleeping, his hair somewhat tousled, but still maintaining it's shape, but his face...it was so innocent. A complete change from how it usually was with all its stoic stupidness.

I watched him for a few moments, gazing at his face, than his neck, his shoulders.

I just don't understand him, what motivates him, what makes him tick. Why he would even help me.

I didn't notice how close I was sitting until my face was directly over his, my hands supporting me besides his face.

His warm breath tickled my skin, but he still remained asleep. We were so close, our noses almost touching.

'If I just lean a little forward...'

I could feel my face heat up, thoughts of how incredibly addicting kissing Doumeki was, of how my body seemed to move to him before the rest of me could catch up.

"Wake up." I said gruffly, shoving Doumeki's shoulder once after pulling away.

Those calculating eyes revealed themselves, sharp with no signs of grogginess.

He stared at me for a few moments and I could feel my lips contort into a frown.

I was about to demand an explanation when suddenly a pair of strong lips were pushed over mine, an equally strong hand holding fast to my neck.

I instantly feel into him, allowed myself the warmth and comfort it brought. Doumeki's teeth nibbled lightly along my bottom lip, and I opened them with a breathy moan.

_'Dammit', _I though angrily, I didn't want to be at Doumeki's mercy, I didn't want to seem weak to him. Stupid vocal cords, stupid tongue.....

One of Doumeki's hands slid down my back, sending sharp shivers up my spine. _'Wait...when the hell did I move to straddle his hips?'_

My face was burning up, every coherent thought centered around getting more, pushing deeper, harder.

I finally pulled away with a large gasp, air instantly flooding my deprived lungs. My chest heaved as I looked down at Doumeki, his chest moving just as quickly though he appeared to be in a much more composed state than I was. When wasn't he?

A large hand touched my hip, gradually inching towards the center of my stomach, which gave a lurch as my eyes stayed trained on the person beneath me.

"Happy birthday," he said, though his voice sounded a little more strained than usual, all the while a small smile on those lips. Something inside the lower area of my stomach did a flip.

My cheeks warmed more, pure embarrassment swarming my body as I squirmed a bit.

_'Oh. That's what I was forgetting. Wait...ohnoohnoohno!'_

"OH CRAP! WE'VE GOT TO GO!" I yelled, hoping off of the couch and consequently Doumeki, "I'm borrowing your shower!" I yelled from the bathroom, quickly slamming the door.

I looked down to my pants.

_'Shit.'_

I had to take care of something first.

...

It was hot...

_Too_ freaking hot.

"I told you to wear shorts." Doumeki stated blandly from besides me as we waited in front of the large ferris wheel that was set up.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled back, "_Usually_, it's overcast, okay!?"

A shrug. My eyebrows furrowed in not-so-well-contained fury.

"I wouldn't have worn shorts anyways, I burn too easily." I grumbled under my breath.

"Sunblock's a great invention."

_'Don't hurt him, calm down...'_ I tried to tell myself.

"Kimihiro! Shizuka!!" Yelled a short-haried girl. We both looked towards the sound to see a smiling Himawari as well as a tan Syaoran following behind an ecstatic Sakura.

I waved back at them, all of my previous internal rage towards Doumeki completely gone.

"Happy Birthday!!" Sakura exclaimed, and I smiled at her. "Happy Birthday to you too." I responded, "And you." I said, nodding to Syaoran.

"I didn't know what to get you..." The tiny girl started, obviously just brimming with happiness, she could hardly contain herself, "So I thought that maybe I could try to win you a prize! And Syaoran too."

I nodded, having a similar idea in my head. "That'll be great." I stood up a little straighter. "So what first?"

"Hmmm..." Sakura hummed thoughtfully when Himawari spoke up.

"How about rides first, than we can get some lunch, does that sound good?"

We all exchanged glances before nodding. "Let's go then." Syaoran said with a final nod.

A small smile found its way onto my lips too as I saw the two youngest of our group link fingers unconsciously.

...

Doumeki and I were standing in front of the small pick-up window, waiting for our several orders of funnel cake and fries to be cooked.

Ah, sugary starches, the lunch of champions.

"How long have they been together?" I found myself asking Doumeki as one of our trays peeked its way through the plastic window.

"Who?" Came Doumeki's one-word response. I furrowed my brows. "Syaoran and Sakura of course!"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "They're not together."

"What! Of course they are, are you blind?" I demanded, grabbing the second tray, heading over to the utensil station on our right.

Doumeki blinked with emphasis. "No." I sighed angrily. A few moments passed as I grabbed a large stack of napkins.

"They've always been like that. The closest they got to 'being together' was a few days of an 'open' relationship....it's kinda complicated." My older companion said, fumbling slightly with his words.

"How complicated?" I asked, counting out the proper amount of forks and knives. I could feel Doumeki's stare on my back.

"They're twins, both Syaoran and Sakura."

"THEY'RE RELATED?!" I demanded, my jaw dropping to the floor. He shook his head, his face reading: 'no you idiot.' "They have a twin. Both of them."

My face instantly changed from one of shock to curiosity. "Wow, small world. And born on the same day too..."

"Ah! It smells delicious!" Himawari said happily, an enrapturing smile on her face, as Doumeki and I placed the trays on the table we had managed to claim.

"Let's eat!"

...

The sun was starting its slow decent back towards the horizon, making the weather considerably cooler.

"Ah man, this was so nice!" Sakura said contently, cuddling the two large teddy bears Syaoran and I had won for her; Syaoran's notably larger and fluffier than mine.

"We should go to the aquarium next time, it's a shame it was closed." Himawari said thoughtfully, walking idly through the water that crept it's way onto the sand.

Everything just seemed so right within that moment, like everything in my life made sense. I smiled, walking a little behind everyone else.

I felt a soft brush of calloused fingers against my arm and yet, the habitual anger didn't come. I was...comforted, stabilized by it.

The hands lightly traced down to my wrist, a small ripple running through my skin.

But what did this make us? We could touch, and be touched, but what does it mean?

Than our fingers were together and I didn't care anymore. I sighed without knowing it, holding that hand all the more.

Emotions were just too confusing, always conflicting with one another. So I ignored them, simply revealing in the instant gratification, the safety and pleasure.

Maybe it was nothing, and maybe it would be better if it was.

But some small voice within me really hopped it wasn't.

There was a small giggle and I was instantly snapped out of my thoughts. "Aw, aren't they cute Syaoran. I told you they were together." Sakura said happily, nudging her taller companion in the side.

I felt heat sprint itself to my cheeks. "W-What? We're not together!" I sputtered, and than Doumeki tightened his hand around me as if to spite what I said.

I shot him a glare. Too bad it was only in a metaphorical sense and eye contact wasn't considered a form of ammunition.....

"Well, we better start heading back, traffic's going to be horrid." Syaoran said with a small cough, his cheeks were slightly tinged pink as well.

"Lets meet up for lunch or something tomorrow okay?" Himawari said hopefully and I nodded, too distracted by the warmth that was coming from in between the hand holding mine.

"We'll see you two later than?" Syaoran said, a small smile on her lips.

Doumeki nodded, "Drive safe." Was his response....had his voice always been so deep?

"We will! Don't get _too _crazy you two!" Sakura yelled a few feet from us.

We watched them until they turned onto a street, cutting them off from our view. I sighed, unconsciously leaning into the chest behind me. "What now?" I whined, a sudden wave of exhaustion washing over me.

I felt those strong shoulders flop up and down in what was sure to be a shrug. "Food."

I snapped out of my Doumeki-induced haze, twirling around in one furious motion. "DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE?!"

Another shrug, the other putting a finger in his ear--which only irked me more. "I do, but you'd yell even more if I told you." He said as he started to walk back towards the pier.

tick...

tick...

_click_

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!"

...

"In-N-Out?" I asked in disbelief.

"In-N-Out." He confirmed. I glared at him. "Why?"

"It's quick, it's good." Doumeki shrugged. "Whatever." I said under my breath, too hungry to argue.

"What can I get you?" A young employee asked after I rolled down the window. "Uhm...."

"Two #3s and a chocolate shake." Doumeki spoke up, and the adolescent registered the order into the square hand-held device.

"Okay, your total is $8.50. Have a nice evening." And with that I pulled up, my hands gripping the steering wheel with unnecessary force.

"What the hell! Don't order for me!" I snapped, fuming. The other just shrugged again.

I pulled up to the window, the drive-thru relatively vacant. A smaller female was at the pick-up window. "That's $8.50." She stated happily. I went to grab my wallet when Doumeki passed over the cash, another glare took over my features as I grabbed the offered money, handing it over to the employee. She smiled, putting it in the register, than she disappeared to grab our order.

"At least you're paying." I said gruffly, folding my arms over my chest. "It is your birthday." Doumeki said, though I could have sworn there was a tinge of sarcasm in it.

"Thank you for your 'generocity'." I mocked with air-quotes and everything.

"Here ya go!" The girl said, leaning out of the window to hand us the bag and drink. I threw them at Doumeki, shifting the car out of park and into gear, taking off towards Doumeki's apartment.

I heard the bag rustle, the smell of cheese and onions filling the car. I glanced over at the taller being. "WHAT THE HELL! DON'T START EATING!"

"Happy Birthday." Doumeki said before taking a large bite.

A large scream erupted, causing the fellow drivers waiting at the same red light to look over with worried curiosity.

--

A/N: Jello! Haha, i know, I know, I'm late on my updates, but I've been preoccupied and such.....life, it's a killer. Anyways!! Guess who got their permit...I did! Yep yep, watch out for the roads, A-n-B is driving! (though you don't know what I look like....so that might be a difficult task....good luck with that.) So, summer is winding down for me, I had registration yesterday and school starts in a week....and I still have to do allllllll of my a.p. work.... no fun. So if I don't update for awhile, please don't get mad...

OH! And Watanuki saying Doumeki's bed smells like oranges is a reference to a cute little Dou/Wata oneshot I read, I think it was called Intense Orange. It's cute, go read it.

please review! They feed me with much needed motivation!

loves. A-n-B


	18. That Green Gentleman,Things Have Changed

A/N: Most of this chapter came about from my fits of insomnia....so it's a little...well, it doesn't really follow along with my usual writing style, so I'm not sure how you guys will perceive it. I hope you'll like it though, even though it jumps around a lot. Have fun~

OH! Right right, (for those of you who are not from California....or don't live in the U.S. or something...) LAX is a huge airport, seriously, it's so easy to get lost in there......(shudders), and the congestion in terms of traffic is insane. So it's a major feet that Doumeki was able to find parking without driving for a good hour. (you'll understand soon enough)

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Take that Mr. Man! You can't bring me down!

**Chapter 18: That Green Gentlemen [Things Have Changed]** (go listen to this song while you read, it's pretty amazing. It's by P!TD)

--

"Wake up." Came a tunneled voice. I groaned unconsciously, turning over under the sheets.

"Oi." Came the voice again, only clearer and with a less echoed tone. Damn Doumeki, what could he want this early in the morning?

"Oi," whispered this time, sending chills from where the warm breath touched behind my ear....

Wait behind my ear?

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!" I demanded, sitting bolt up-right in our bed-

Oh no, nononono _No_, I seriously didn't just think that did I? Doumeki's bed, Doumeki'sDoumeki'sDoumeki's.

Doumeki just continued to sit there, unfazed, one hand resting besides my hip against the mattress.

My brain froze up, I couldn't create a logical reason why I shouldn't just capture those lips right then and there, I could feel my breathing come in quicker gasps, my eyes falling slightly closed.

Dammit what was wrong with me...

Two fingertips grazed my chin, lightly, just a caressing that sent my skin aflame. I bit my lip lightly. unconsciously.

_...I was walking with a ghost, I said: 'please, please don't insist.'..._

"What's that?" I asked quietly, the mental fog plaguing my brain not yet lifted. Doumeki gave me a sort of blank look.

_...No matter which way you go, no matter which way you stay..._

Then everything fit back into place, the fact that A.) I should not be the submissive pansy I had suddenly turned into, B.) It was freaking _Doumeki_ for rice cakes sakes, stupid, stoic, infuriating (-ly handsome) Doumeki and finally, C.) Oh, that's right genius your phone is ringing, get out of your hormone induced stupidity and answer it.

I practically fell out of _Doumeki's_ bed as I went to grab my phone.

"Hel-"

"Ah Kimi-tan! Good morning!" Responded the always cheerful voice of Fai......though there was something off.

"Oh God Fai, you didn't..."

"It's so crowded here, isn't it? Though Chicago is a populated area too neh?"

"Fai, where are you?" I asked. I looked over to Doumeki who was giving me a curious stare.

"I'm just outside of LAX....why?" The blonde asked, a sweetly innocent edge to his voice.

"WHAT! Fai, what are you doing here?! Where's Kuroga-" I cut myself off, "What happened?" I asked, my voice slightly more serious.

"Oh Kimi-kims, you know how Kuro-meanie gets sometimes," The other said dismissively, I let out an angry sigh.

"Don't move, we're coming to get you." I said, aggravation clear in my voice.

"We're?" Fai said with a cheeky tone, but I ignored him, too preoccupied with pulling on a gray hoodie, I looked down at my legs. 'Plaid pajama pants it is.' I thought dryly.

"We'll be there in....like forty, okay, _Don't Move._" I said, making sure that the other understood what was being told to him.

"Yes sir." A small giggle followed. "See you soon."

The line was cut, and I already had keys in hand.

"What's going on?" I heard Doumeki ask. "I'll explain later." I said gruffly, walking out the door.

"Why are you wearing my pants?"

"I'LL EXPLAIN LATER!"

--

"Fai!" I yelled, running over to the blonde. It seemed like he had been staring off into space, his eyes trained on the hands in his lap until he heard my voice, his face snapping up and that bright smile finding its way back onto his lips.

"Kimi-tan." He said happily, offering me a hug as soon as I was within....well, hugging distance. His hands were shaking as they wrapped around my back. I was so relieved that he was there, that he was okay...

It could have been so much worse.

"What happened Fai," I asked, my voice trembling and soft. He held me a little closer and patted my head. "Oh, now now, nothing too bad, just a little...disagreement." I looked up at him, a frown on my face, he laughed, "I thought it would be a good time to check on you, you left so quickly, I was worried."

"Now where is this 'we' you were talking about, hmm?" Fai asked, instantly snapping back into his haphazard giddiness. I looked at him, before it registered.

"Oh! Well you see, I was so worried that-"

"He jumped out of the car into oncoming traffic, leaving me to find a parking space." Came a silently irritated voice, though the emotionless still held. Damn, I was getting good at 'guess what subtle emotion Doumeki is displaying now!'

"Shut up, it's none of your business!" I yelped back at him, he shrugged. "Don't complain when your car gets impounded."

"You didn't..." He wouldn't be so stupid.

Another shrug.

Fai laughed with a little more sincerety this time. "So this must be the famous Doumeki I've been hearing about. It's nice to finally meet you." Fai said happily, shaking Doumeki's hand. He quirked an eyebrow at the blonde.

"Famous?" He said blankly, glancing over at me. I couldn't stop the blood from rushing to my cheeks, though I didn't know why I was embarrassed, it was just Doumeki.

Right?

"Kimi-chi talked about you all the time, I hadn't seen him so happy in such a long time...or so frustrated, you two should really take care of that."

He smirked, that jerk had the nerve to freaking _smirk_ at me.

"Well, then," I said, my voice a little higher than usual, "let's get your bags to the car Fai."

"Hahaha, sure Kimi-tan." We started to walk out of the crowded building.

"Nice pants by the way." The blonde commented as we crossed the crammed street.

"Thanks." Doumeki said simply.

"SHUT UP!"

--

_...I was walking with a-..._

"Answer it." I snapped at Doumeki, throwing my phone at him, still keeping my eyes on the road.

I heard a gruff 'hello', and then I felt Doumeki's eyes on me.

"Neh! Kim-chi, slow down, it's a bit rough back here." Whined Fai.

"Of course it's a little rough! IT'S NOT EVEN A FREAKING SEAT!" I yelled at him, scanning the freeway for patrol cars.

"You're so paranoid." The man said with a slight grin. "Good thing I'm so flexible."

"Good thing your so skinny is more like it." I grumbled.

"Yuko wants to see us." Came Doumeki's stupidly neutral voice.

"WHY!?" I demanded, as if it was his fault that we had to go there.

Which, technically it was.

"Meeting."

"Well, isn't that just peachy-"

"She said to bring Fai along." He interrupted, which just caused me to fume more.

"Figures." I snapped, quickly changing lanes in order to head in the right direction.

_'This day just keeps getting better and better doesn't it.'_

"Slow _down_ Kim-peachy!"

--

"Ah Kimmy, it's about time you got here." Yuko said with a mocking smile. I glared at her, "You try getting here in thirty-seven minutes with bumper-to-bumper morning commute traffic....wait," thoughts of Yuko's reckless driving flashed in my head, "ugh, never mind." I took a seat at the large discussion table, the same place we had our last meeting. Everyone was sitting in the same seats as then too, Sakura, Syaoran, and Himawari. I felt a small smile on my lips, so much had changed, and yet, it was still the same.

"It's nice to see you so soon Yuko," Fai said kindly, Yuko nodded to him. He looked around the crowded table. "I'm Fai, it's a pleasure to meet you."

As expected, Sakura was the first person out of her seat, already bounding over to greet the blonde. "Hi Fai! I'm Sakura, that's Syaoran," She said happily, gesturing to the brunette sitting next to her empty seat, "And that's Himawari."

"Uwa," The blonde gasped, "they all look so talented," He whispered down to the green-eyed girl who giggled in turn, "It's so nice to meet you guys, I've heard so much, it feels like I know you already."

I felt Doumeki's stare on me again, but I refused to look at him. "So why are we here Yuko?" I asked in hopes to avert some attention away from myself.

"Well, today is the second of April isn't it?" The woman asked, though there was something distinct in her tone that washed away the actual question.

But still, we nodded in unison.

"Which means," She walked over to the same white board, that had the same diagram as before. I took a seat next to Doumeki, trying to put all my focus onto Yuko but failing miserably.

"Time to start releasing some tracks don't you think?" She said with a sly smile, "We've got some appointments to attend to so let's get going."

And than she walked out of the room, like it was nothing. There was an awkward silence, where none of us were really sure of what to do. Sakura started bursting out in small fits of laughter, "Alright!" She exclaimed, running out into the hallway, Syaoran somehow metaphorically tied to her hip as they both exited the room in a sprint.

"Guess we aughtta go too." Himawari commented with a giggle, gathering her purse and pulling it over her shoulder. Doumeki stood with a 'Hm' of affirmation.

Everyone left the room, Fai included.

What was going on.....I was at a complete loss. First Fai, now this......I just couldn't comprehend it, between the whatever the hell it was between Doumeki and I, the fact that I was still trying to absorb all the music he had managed to dish out in three weeks....

"WHAT THE HELL KINDA MEETING WAS THAT ANYWAY!!" I yelled, running out into the hallway. Yuko turned around just before she got to the elevator.

"Oh and Kimmy," That same conniving smile reared its ugly head, "I'm going to need that band name now."

Everyone was turned around now, scattered down the hall in an omniscient manner.

I gaped, my eyes darting to each person in the hallway.

I clenched my fists, and everything finally made sense.

This is where I was meant to be, this was what I _wanted._

"A-" I swallowed, "Aficionado."

I looked at Doumeki, and there was something in those eyes that just made me smile.

And so I continued to smile as we entered the elevator, grabbing Doumeki's hand as I passed him.

He held it with firm pressure, a steady confirmation of his acceptance.

--

A/N: Ah, so that's the end of that. Next chapter will probably be more productive. XD

Doumeki: (stares at Watanuki)

Watanuki: WHAT!

D: (glares at the wall defiantly)

W: What the hell's his problem?

A-n-B: I think he's mad that Ted's ringtone is different than everyone else's'...

D: (nods)

W: Why? It's not like it matters or anything...oh...OH! (starts laughing mockingly) He's _jealous_, how lame.

D: (stares dejectedly at the floor.)

W: (Feels guilty, than gets angry over feeling guilty) (throws phone) GO! Change it if you're going to be so stupid about it.

D: (instantly starts messing with phone)

W: (glares)

D: (hands phone back and pulls out his phone)

W: What did you do?

D: (calls Watanuki.)

_...Secret Lovers, that's what we are..._

W: WHAT THE HELL! CHANGE IT!!!

D: (Smirks triumphantly)

A-n-B: Yeah, I wasn't sure how to explain how when Yuko and Fai call, the ringtone is Walking With A Ghost by Tegan and Sarah, but when Ted called like...two chapters ago it was Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. Ah, personalized ringtones gotta love 'em. And that one (points up) just cracks me up because of that ONE t-mobile commercial, ah so great.


	19. Reached For The Gun

A/N: Okay, so before I start getting hit with rotten fruit let me explain. IT'S ALL DOUMEKI'S FAULT. I was having some difficulty channeling him and thus the chapter was not written. Other than that it's all because of tennis, practice has been hectic and I don't get home till 7 and by then I'm ready to sleep for a year and half, so please pardon meh! All other time has been consumed by devaintart, guitar and piano. Gomen!

Disclaimer/Song(s) Used: I own nothing either....(sad face)

Percussion Gun - White Rabbits (this song is pure win, because I'm using the music video in later chapters XD.)

**Chapter 19: Reached For The Gun **

--

He did it.

And I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life.

The warmth surrounding my hand, the fact that this was of his own accord....that he was _with_ us now, that he chose it.

My heart was racing as we walked out into the underground parking structure, Watanuki lightly guiding me towards his car.

My voice was softer than I ever thought possible, and a part of me hoped that Watanuki wouldn't notice it, that he wouldn't see me so affected.

"Where are we going?" The shorter boy didn't turn around, just continued in his determined pursuit to his car. He got in on the driver's side, and I stood outside the vehicle until the engine purred awake.

I got in, Watanuki pulling out of his spot in less than a seconds time.

"What about everyone else?" I asked, for once not comfortable with the boy's silence, actually talking without something being asked of me.

I saw blue eyes glance over at me, a tinge of red staining the white cheeks just underneath. "We'll meet them there, I've got to change."

_Ah._ I thought, _that would explain the lack of speech._

Watanuki was embarrassed...

And I was incredibly overjoyed.

--

"So do we have an agreement?" Yuko asked condescendingly, a vague parallel to my indifference, of how we both ask questions without ever really _asking_ a question.

The program leader and DJ sat at their respective seats in the broadcasting room, huge smiles on their faces.

"Sure thing, we'll have this streaming in a matter of moments." The lanky man in his mid-thirities nodded as he spoke.

"Good, we can't wait to hear it." Yuko said airily, already walking out the door. Sakura was busy pouncing on the two seated mails, thanking them with smiles and overjoyed squeals, Kunogi, Syaoran, Watanuki and myself simply shaking their hands in thanks.

We followed Yuko out into another hallway, collectively gathering at the elevator, waiting for our escorting machine to show up. "So what now Ms. Yuko?" Sakura asked, with one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen. She looked down at the small girl, giving her a slightly more matured curve of the lips.

"Now, we go home, and listen, and wait." The woman said with an elongated yawn. The elevator dinged, alerting us to its arrival.

She stepped through the metal doors. "I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that she left, the doors quickly indicating her decent to the main floor, all of us not quiet sure what we should be doing.

"Syaoran." Sakura stated quietly.

"Yes?" He returned. Sakura grinned menacingly.

"LAST ONE TO KIMIHIRO'S CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!" The girl exclaimed, sprinting towards the stairs.

Syaoran laughed happily, chasing after the girl, Kunogi's melodic laughter following in tune as she started running, a little behind the shorter male.

I glanced over at Watanuki, noticing how his pink lips had parted in a slack-jawed form of disbelief. He gathered himself a little more after a few seconds. "Why my car?" He asked in comically-edged desperation.

"Why not your car?" I returned already heading down the stairs. I noticed that he wasn't following so I stopped, turning towards him. "Oi."

Watanuki sputtered for a moment, "WHAT?!"

"You're going to be a rotten egg."

A devious twinkle filled those blue eyes and he sprinted to the stairs, not stopping as he passed, jumping down the last five steps and quickly moving onto the next set of stairs. "Rotten egg my ass!" He yelled and I smirked chasing after him.

--

"Hahaha, come on Watanuki-"

"Ow, Syaoran-"

"Ah, sorry-"

"You passed it-"

"SHUT UP!" The boy exclaimed as well all crammed around his car, waiting for him to tune his radio to the right channel in order to hear our debut. "Goodness, I can hardly breathe in here!"

"Oh this is so exciting!" Sakura exclaimed, hopping around the vehicle.

"You passed it again." I stated, Watanuki sending a furious glare at me.

He turned the knob a few more times, finally acquiring the right frequency. "There! HAPPY?!"

I shrugged.

"Oh you two are su-" Kunogi was cut off by a harsh shush by Watanuki. "It's starting." He said quietly, and we all stopped, none of us breathing.

The announcer came on, broadcasting his usual scripted words about the radio station and upcoming shows in the area before he announced that he'd be playing some new music group. The tension was practically seeping into Watanuki's leather seats it was so thick in the air as we waited.

The song started, oddly enough with laughter. Than Kunogi's hard drums for four measures.

I couldn't believe it was actually happening.

"Well how do you do? A kiss on the cheek. Hey, it's been awhile, so I'll just beg, borrow and steal all your time, we'll call it dignified. Well now it all seems to be cut and dried, so I know which way to run. You're tired my love, I feel the same, Oh." 

It was almost euphoric hearing Watanuki's voice through his car's speakers, the fact that we had the radio turned up so loud that it was vibrating the concrete walls of the parking structure.

"Oh take it from me, what else could you do? Oh where do you get off and how can I get there too? All your time, we'll call it dignified. Well now it all seems cut and dried, so I know which way to run. You're tired my love, I feel the same, Oh."

I remember the clapping in studio, how Watanuki would slide into the hard hitting piano cords, how perfectly in unison Syaoran and I were when we matched Watanuki's pitch.

_**"Uuu, Uuu, Uuu, **_You'll never come back. my God can't you see that? I know which way to run. You're tired my love, I feel the same. The Lebanon won't speak my name, Oh."

Then we continue on, almost in a circle, a rocking motion. I leaned against the oustide of the black Mercedes, staring at the ceiling waiting for the instrumental to end.

_**"Uuu, Uuu, Uuu, Uuu."**_

Watanuki would never admit it, but it was obvious he enjoyed this song, if the way his hands played the cords on air while he sat listening were any indication.

"Well everyone's saying rise and shine. It might not be true romance, it's fine. 'Cause I know which way to run, you're tired my love, I feel the same. The Lebanon won't speak my name. We're leaving this, we're jumping ship. Ah, just give me some peace of mind, 'cause I."

The song played out, and it was perfectly silent. The D.J. hadn't come back on, no other song was played after. It was as if everything had frozen, like we were in reverent awe of what we had just experienced.

It was as if we had all realized at that moment that this was something big, that this was something real and there was no way we could stop it.

That there's no way to stop a rolling stone once it starts going, and we were that metaphorical stone.

"What just happened?" Syaoran asked unsurely. Sakura glanced at him, her hands tightening around his arm.

"We just happened." Kunogi stated happily, her face holding this wild, fearless expression that I had never seen from her before. The reserved and courteous girl was now replaced by something completely foreign.

The D.J. had finally found enough composure to come back on the radio and Watanuki promptly shut it off.

There was this odd tension between all of us, and I wasn't really certain why.

Sakura was the first to speak. "What do we do now?" She asked, her voice only partially showing the uneasiness that we all felt.

Watanuki pulled himself together quicker than I had expected, pushing his knuckles against the steering wheel and cracking all eight in unison. "We keep going until there's nowhere else for us to go."

The most innocent of expressions came across Sakura's face. "And what then?"

He turned to smile at the youngest of us all, giving Sakura positive reassurance.

"Then we start making our own places, and we don't ever stop."

--

Watanuki: You've been updating like crazy over at DeviantArt.

A-n-B: I KNOW! I went from like....twelve deviations to SEVENTY in a month.

Fai: And you even did one of me and Kuro-wan-wan

A-n-B: (nods) and one of Doumeki and Watanuki and Sakura

Doumeki: There's a few of those...

A-n-B: (smiles) GO CHECK IT OUT! It's at: undrnoted-philosophy(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/Glitter-In-The-Air-KuroFai-137651603


	20. Mad World

A/N: Holy crap-ola! Chapter twenty! I can't believe it! This is the longest I've ever gone with a story so far! (does a happy dance) ANYWAYS! I hope you will enjoy. There, sadly, isn't any music in this chapter, but it was written to the song Mad world by Gary Jules. (god, I can't stop listening to it D:)

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for Teddy-bear. He's mine!

**Chapter 20: Mad World**

--

"Kim, I can't even believe this!" Ted exclaimed excitedly, waving the small stack of papers he held in his hand. "This response is just insane!"

I nodded distractedly, staring at the spread-sheet resting against my legs as I laid across the small armchair, knees hooked over one armrest and my back pressed against the other.

"You're being streamed on seven different stations all at once, and more than one song at that!"

"I know that..."

Ted immediately stopped his pacing and small actions of celebration, turning his full attention to me.

"Kim...what's wrong?" He asked, his completely and utterly sincere tone of concern was the only thing that snapped me out of my stupor.

I sighed, sitting up-right in the chair and running a hand through my hair.

"It's nothing...I'm just-"

"Just?" Ted urged, green eyes staring into mine.

"Just-"

The doors behind me slammed open, labored breathing following soon after. I turned around, my eyes widening in shock.

"Kurogane?! Wha-What are you-"

"The idiot," The tall man demanded, standing to his full height, "Where is he."

–

"_Kimihiro," Came Kamui's voice from behind me, I turned away from the sound studio, my face and mind still trying to absorb everything I had been immersed in so suddenly, I went from being a homeless kid singing for his next meal, to properly dressed, overly-fed, and part of high-society in less than twenty-four hours. "This is Fai and Kurogane, our keyboardist and drummer."_

_I looked at the two men to my left, still not comfortable being introduced to new faces. Fai smiled kindly, and though Kurogane's expression didn't give it away I had a feeling that there was nothing malicious behind his scowl. I smiled, something being triggered inside of me. _

_I was gaining a family, I finally had something to hold onto. _

_Fai walked up to me, holding out his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Kimi-tan." I was slightly taken back by the pet-name, never being addressed as anything besides 'Watanuki' 'Kimihiro' or several variations of 'Kim'. I grabbed the hand, shaking it lightly. "It's nice to meet you too."_

_A tall woman entered the room, wearing highly revealing clothing, her long, cascading black hair held in a loose side-bun. _

"_Ah." She stated and we were all at attention, "How about a small game of tag, neh?"_

God, I was so young, so completely unaware.

"_Stupid blond, GET BACK HERE!" Kurogane demanded, chasing Fai around the music room. "Maaa, no way!" The lithe man declared, jumping over several cased saxophones, "Kuro-myu is too mean to me~."_

"_What's up with them Fuuma?" I asked, flipping through a small comic Kamui had bought me at a convenience store down the street. We had been recording for a week, their CD was finished and we were in the planning stages of their latest tour. We had accomplished so much , and yet we still had time to mess around, to just live and be happy. _

_Somehow, none of it seemed out-of-place, I just slipped in so perfectly with them, easily getting a contract with Morning Star, easily adjusting to recording and singing when I had to, to learning what Kamui and Fuuma threw at me. _

"_Oh, just their usual lovers' spat." The taller man stated happily, restringing his guitar. I gaped at him. "Lovers?!" He laughed at my expression and just then Kamui entered the room._

_Fai ran behind him, hiding from the broad-shoulder man approaching them. "Ahh! Save me Ka-chan!"_

_We all laughed._

It was three weeks later that everything changed, when I finally met _him._

_We were recording that day, not for a CD, not for anything really, just for fun. Just for experimentation's sake. We were almost done touring, finally reaching our last show. _

_We were staying in New York for the night, and decided to pay Morning Star's first branch a visit._

_A tall man in glasses entered the room, and I felt like all the air in my chest had left me, I knew at that very moment there was something different about this man, something misleading and purely evil. _

_Apparently Kamui and Fuuma felt the same way, both of them giving each other stern glances, having a silent conversation within the span of a second. _

"_Seishiro." Kamui said, but his usually caring tone that I was so accustomed to had vanished, it was now hard, cold. Scared._

"_Ah, Kamui, it's so wonderful to see you again." The man stated, laying a soft kiss on the back of Kamui's hand. The shorter male quickly pulled his hand away, as if he had been burnt by the touch. Fuuma was right behind him, pure loathing radiating out of him._

_I had never seen them like this and it was absolutely frightening. These two people that I thought were capable of nothing but love and understanding, complete forgiveness, had suddenly become something I couldn't recognize and at that moment I realized just how out of place I was, just how little I actually knew._

_How completely oblivious I had been._

_Then Seishiro's eyes connected with mine and a twisted-ly handsome smile filled his lips. "Is this him? The little one I've been hearing so much of lately?"_

"_Leave him alone." Fuuma ground out, intercepting Seishiro's attempt of taking a step towards me. _

"_Where's Subaru." Kamui demanded, "Where the hell's my brother!" _

_Seishiro laughed, "He's perfectly fine." The man consoled, "Waiting in my car out front actually. He didn't feel comfortable coming up, and I think you can understand why." _

"_You bastard, you know damn well I was only acting in his best interest. How much have you twisted his mind? How many lies have you fed him too!" _

_Fuuma grabbed Kamui around his waist as the smaller male lunged at Seishiro, shouting words of pure, unadulterated hatred. _

_Fuuma tried to calm Kamui down, whispering softly in his ear. I was shaking terribly, I was terrified and I didn't even know why._

_Kamui settled down, his breathing heavy, but Fuuma's grip held firm. Seishiro chuckled to himself. "I didn't come here to start a fight Kamui, I just wanted to see how things were...progressing."_

_Our eyes connected again, and I felt far more terrified than I had before, as if he was eating me alive with his eyes. _

"_We're perfectly fine_ without_ you. Now leave." Kamui stated, finally standing on his own, Fuuma's arms resting at the man's sides. _

_Seishiro bowed mockingly, "As you wish."_

_He turned, walking out the door, but he stopped before completely leaving the room. "I will see you all very soon."_

Little did we know how completely horrendous those words were, what the exact situation would be the next time we were all in the same room together.

I was so fucking unaware.

…

"Oi."

I missed them so much.

It was all my fault.

"Oi!"

My head snapped up, only for my eyes to widen to their fullest extent while having to take in the sheer proximity that Doumeki decided to occupy near my face.

"My name's not 'Oi'." I scolded, though there wasn't the usual bite to my words.

"What's up with them?" The taller male asked, completely ignoring my previous complaint as he gestured towards an arguing Fai and Kurogane.

"Oh, just their usual lovers' spat." I said, smiling slightly at how nostalgic this conversation was.

We continued to watch as Kurogane pulled Fai into an adjacent room, the blond smiling and heckling his companion the entire way.

I chuckled softly and I could feel Doumeki's eyes on me.

"This isn't new to you, is it?" Doumeki retorted, knowing full well that I was just too calm for this situation to not be reoccurring.

"No, not really." I said, too busy reliving all the memories, everything that just sprung forth in my mind as I watched the small blond be tackled by the much larger Kurogane.

"Then..." Doumeki seemed to be struggling with his words, which brought most of my attention on him. He never seemed to care much for talking so why was he making such an effort to converse now? "...Why do you seem so out of it?"

I looked at him, somewhat taken back. I couldn't believe that Doumeki was sincerely worried about me, that despite the fact that there has been so much hype and publicity over their music within a three-day span that none of it had gone to his head.

He was different.

I started laughing, all of my worries and re-run memories being released, complete relief just washing over me.

I calmed down a bit, taking in a deep breath. "I'm out of it you say?"

I looked back into those golden eyes I had come to depend on so readily.

"You're toping the charts without even having a CD out on the market and you are acting like it's just another day, that nothing's different, and I'm the one that's out of it?"

He stared at me blankly and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't worry. I wasn't expecting a response from Mr. I-talk-at-unexpected-and-usually-inappropriate-times." I ended up yawning the end of the sentence which caused my attempts at sarcasm to not go over too well.

"Tired?" He asked, a soft padded-ness in his voice, something erring on kindness.

I nodded absently, mirroring the smile that was spread across Fai's face as he looked up into Kurogane's.

"Let's go."

I looked up at Doumeki, and I couldn't find it within myself to argue, his face was just too filled with something I wasn't used to seeing in people.

Quiet sincerity.

I laced my fingers with his and we left the room, making a left down the hallway, heading towards the parking lot.

"Kim!"

I turned around as Ted came running down the hall towards us.

He stopped, panting and eyeing our intertwined hands.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking at him curiously. There was a something clutched in his left hand.

Ted composed himself, finally looking me in the eyes. "This......" He gestured to the paper in his hand, "It just came via fax."

He handed the paper to me, and I un-crumpled it sceptically.

I took in the contents, my heart stopping for a single moment.

I couldn't breath and I felt like the floor had just been blown out from underneath me.

All the worries I thought Doumeki had just washed away suddenly came flooding back.

Kamui and Fuuma's faces flashed in my mind, splotches of blood coating their smiles.

'You should have stayed quiet little one.' Was typed in flowing print across the center of the page.

I looked up at Ted, my hands shaking uncontrollably.

"It's _him_ Kim." Ted's voice was so very grave, it had been years since I had heard such worry and uncertainty in that voice.

"He's found you."

–

A/N: MAA! A cliffhanger! Take that! Hmm, so some drama is building isn't it? I think it is! Uhm...yeah, I'm happy I updated within a reasonable amount of time this time around, I feel very accomplished XD. Anyways, please review, I felt like I didn't receive that many for the last chapter which makes me start to doubt the story which thus makes me NOT want to write it so much anymore. SO REVIEW! Please? Lol.

Ttfn

A-n-B


	21. Down With The Sickness

A/N: (le gasp!) Drama, Thrills and Suspense! Was the last chapter just killing ya? I hope not, because I would have a few casualties to explain and my closet is filled with enough skeletons XD Have fun reading!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, what a surprise!

**Chapter 21: Down with the Sickness **(such a badass song. yay Disturbed!)

–

I couldn't explain it.

The face that Watanuki was making just made something swell in me, something unpleasant....I couldn't quiet place what it was exactly...

Maybe it was fear, the fact that Watanuki himself seemed so panicked, completely vulnerable. I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of him not letting me in.

I didn't understand, I read the paper, just as Watanuki had and yet I had no idea what it could possibly mean. How it could possibly be connected to Watanuki, how Mr. Smith was somehow involved in all of it.

Who the hell it was that had found him.

And for what reason was Watanuki hiding?

I found that my hand had taken residence at Watanuki's wrist and the shocked expression that filled his face as he looked at me was so shaken and confused.

He seemed just as lost as I was.

"I-" Watanuki stuttered out, looking between Mr. Smith and I. "I need to-"

"You've got to get out of here Kim. Now." Mr. Smith interjected, his voice extremely grave and worried, a complete turn around from his usual casual aloofness.

"Go _where_ Ted!? He _knows_! There's nowhere _for_ me to go!" The franticness in Watanuki's voice threw me off a bit, how it cracked and fluctuated with his fear.

I gripped that wrist tighter. "Come with me." I said evenly and I had the younger males attention again.

His face seemed almost relieved as he thought over the proposition. "That sounds-"

"No!" Mr. Smith cut Watanuki off. "You've got to get _out_ of California, I'm not taking any risks-"

"Think about it Ted." Watanuki chided, his voice degrees calmer than it had been. I took small pleasure in the fact that I could cause him such relief, that he found safety with me. "He's expecting me to run, he knows that I can only go to a few other places. He knows all of them. The only place he doesn't know..."

"Is with Doumeki." Mr. Smith finished, giving me a stern look. He looked back to Watanuki, his green eyes softening as he took in the full scope of the situation.

He nodded once, looking at each of us. "Alright. But I'm setting down some rules. We'll talk about them tomorrow. Get a good night's rest."

Watanuki smiled, obviously convinced in his safety, that everything would be okay now.

The scare was over and I didn't even know what it was about.

…

"Who is he?" I asked silently as we walked into my apartment, Watanuki removing his shoes at the door.

"What?" He asked back, perplexed at my very blatant question. I sighed internally.

"This 'he' you were talking about. What does it mean."

I think Watanuki sensed my irritation, his face going stern as he looked me in the eyes.

"It doesn't concern you."

"It damn well does and you know it." I said back, the anger that was building barely seeping into my words, but Watanuki knew they were there, he knew me well enough that I hated being in the dark about anything that remotely involved the blue-eyed boy.

There was a plethora of emotions running over Watanuki's face. The most pronounced being a mixture of exhaustion, as if he desperately wanted to tell me what was going on, and fierce determination. The latter won out, Watanuki's expression being completely encompassed by a firm set of his jaw and a heated glare.

"You don't get it do you?" He asked, barely contained evenness in his voice. "I understand that whatever it is that you think you're entitled to has _some_ feeble sense of logic, but this is bigger than you, it's way over your head."

There was a pause, as if something was slowly being triggered inside Watanuki's memory, an empty, completely saddened void filling up those blue eyes.

"I don't want you involved...you're too-"

I didn't want him to finish the sentence, afraid of what might change if he did. So I did the only thing I could think to do.

I interrupted him.

"I can't protect you if I don't even know what I'm fighting against."

Those eyes widened and there was a shallow intake of breath.

"Protect me?" He asked skeptically, a humored edge to his tone. And then the humor took over and his lips turned into a huge grin, small spurts of laughter escaping his pink lips. "Ah, you're a little late for that Doumeki."

He laughed again and then connected his gaze with me.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna get ready for bed." He said with a content sigh and I continued to stare at him. He just totally brushed off the entire conversation, which both amused and infuriated me.

I sighed, closing my eyes and running a hand through my hair, listening to Watanuki's footsteps carry him towards our bedroom.

I'm not really sure when I started to consider it 'our' bedroom....considering we had never used it at the same time.

"I'm here you know, I'm not going anywhere." I mumbled mostly to myself, though it was obvious that Watanuki had heard me, simply by the way he stopped in the doorway.

There was that same sad smile that I never had the desire to witness again.

He sighed, not looking me in the eyes.

"No one ever stays long," And then I felt that blue gaze on mine, "Especially with me."

–

It was much later that night when I heard the bedroom door open and footsteps creep up to the upholstered couch where I was previously sleeping.

Watanuki gradually placed one of his hands on my forehead and I was surprised to find that the fingertips were shaking.

I slowly grabbed that hand around its wrist, pulling it away slightly so I could look Watanuki in the eyes, sitting up from my laying position.

"What's wrong-"

"Don't leave me."

My eyes widened at the sheer terror in his voice, but any further questions were interrupted when Watanuki pushed his lips onto mine.

They were unrelenting, firm, almost desperate. I couldn't figure out what could possibly be coursing through the younger's mind. But then I felt his tongue search my mouth and I realized that I didn't really care.

We were heavily breathing, trying to take in as much air as possible without disturbing the contact of our lips.

Watanuki pulled me to my feet, my height allowing me to take permanent dominance in our kiss and a pleading whimper escaped his throat as more and more pressure was added, as our demand for the other grew more intense.

"Don't le-" His words broken by another swipe of lips to lips, teeth clashing with teeth, as if he was trying to eat me alive and I him.

His back was suddenly against the wall next to the bedroom door, and he was pulling at my shirt, almost tearing the fabric in his eager grasp. His hair was so soft under my fingertips, and it slid in between my fingers.

He pushed back at me, trying to get off the wall as he tugged on my lower lips with his teeth.

It was surprising and then somewhat expected. It wasn't the first time that Watanuki seemed to take the lead in our intimate moments, but still, it was odd. That some one who tried to keep composure, who rarely let people in could be inviting me so eagerly to do just that.

Suddenly we were on the bed, Watanuki firmly trapped underneath me, panting and shivering, whether it be in wanton need or simply from the fear that had been plaguing him earlier I wasn't sure.

His pale neck was arched back slightly and I couldn't stop myself from biting there, from allowing my teeth and tongue to trace the pristine skin.

"Please....please" Watanuki pleaded breathlessly over and over again his fingers clawing at the fabric protecting my back from his blunt nails.

"Don't leave me." He whispered, almost as if his voice wasn't in the room, it was an odd thing to hear those words from him, and I don't think I really registered the extremity of his words at the time.

I bit into the skin, feeling the muscles and bone of his shoulder tease me from beneath it.

"I won't." I replied, licking the spot and admiring the slightly reddish tint the skin took and how it stood out against the white skin despite the darkness of the room.

My hands had wormed their way underneath Watanuki, spreading wide against the small of his back and underneath the baggy shirt he had worn to sleep. The skin was heated and so incredibly smooth.

"Promise me." He breathed again, his eyes shut tight, those lips letting out small whimpers and moans every time I met a particularly sensitive spot.

I froze, my body ceasing its movements and I stared down at Watanuki, at his blushing cheeks, his panting lips.

"_I'll see you tomorrow then Shizuka. Promise me." Came the tired voice, slurred with the after effects of our previous night and heavy sleep he had just awoken from. _

I couldn't breathe, my chest just kept tightening up.

Watanuki's eyes gradually opened and then widened, completely sobering up as he took in my disposition. "D-Doumeki?"

One of my hands was clutching at my chest, leaving the other one to support the rest of my weight. It was a quickly lost battle and I collapsed next to Watanuki, my vision swimming and my ears ringing.

It just hurt so freaking much.

I had forgotten about my attacks, I hadn't experienced them in so long.

Not since I had met Watanuki anyways. Somehow he made me feel as if everything was okay, that I could do anything.

I couldn't hear anymore and I felt my eyes sliding shut.

The last thing I saw was Watanuki's panicked face, his hands frantically shaking my shoulders in hopes of a response that I couldn't give.

--

A/N: And done! (another freaking cliffie? Sadly yes. I thought you would enjoy it -gets shot-.)

So yeah....Life's been busy man, I haven't really had much time to sit down and write for this fic (or any fic for that matter), but I was getting frustrated with Photoshop and decided to pay GITA a little visit. And then I managed to finish the chapter, which is always kinda nice.

I'm just getting frustrated because there are so many songs that I can't wait to use, but I can't until there is the proper development......ugh! Anyhows.

I hope you liked the chapter, despite its shortness.

Please review, I really really need the inspiration and incentive to keep writing.

A-n-B


	22. Afic CD List

A/N: Helloooooooo~ I know it's been awhile since I've updated, but I've been obscenely sick (like for the pass three weeks I've had a non-stop cold/flu thing) and of course, this week was finals week and I was home for 4/5 of the week, I had to make up ALL of my finals on friday which was NO fun at all. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fail A.P. Ceramic and A.P. Lit (Screw you Gertrude from Hamlet and Linda from Death Of A Salesman, I don't care how degraded you are because of your sex, that's just the era you live in dammit~what a crappy thesis to choose right, I could've done ANYTHING but that's what I chose *smacks self in face*), but what's a girl to do?

Anyways! I've had this list lying around for awhile and I thought I would post it as just a little extra note so you guys can see what the track listing is for Doumeki and Watanuki's band. Exciting yes?

**Aficionado CD 1:** The Welcoming

**Track One: **I Can Get Back Up Now*****

**Track Two: **Skeptics And True Believers

**Track Three:** Memory

**Track Four:** A Decade Under the Influence

**Track Five:** Vitamin R (Leading Us Along)*****

**Track Six: **I Miss You

**Track Seven:** I Will Possess Your Heart

**Track Eight:** Colorblind

**Track Nine:** Made of Glass

**Track Ten:** Lunacy Fringe

**Track Eleven: **Amber

The *s indicate songs I have not used yet in chapters, but don't worry, I'll get to them. (we've still got concerts and tours to go through people, come on :D) That's all from me, go on to the **NEXT CHAPTER!** *mystical music ensues*


	23. Send The Pain Below

A/N: Ugh, this chapter's a doozy. It was long and difficult to write but I got it done~

**WARNING:** Some insane OOC going on here, God Doumeki and Watanuki just were NOT cooperating with me through the entire thing, I'm so sorry.

Disclaimer: I own nothin'

Songs Used:

**Vitamin R (leading us along)** - **Chevelle** (Doumeki's back-story is based solely around this song so it's VERY VERY important. And I picture Doumeki as Pete Loeffler, just taller. P.S. I'm using this music video in later chapters :3)

**Like A Stone - Audioslave **(this was a request song from . Sorry it took so long to use it, and that it isn't Doumeki who sings it like you suggested D: But I hope that it'll suffice :D)

**Chapter 22: Send The Pain Below** (Chevelle reference~ Though I'm not using this song it's still good [I hated it at first but it grew on me ANYWAYS read!!])

--

It was one of the worst feelings I had experienced recently.

Like there was a massive black-hole filled with knots just residing in the pit of my stomach.

Seeing Doumeki being carted off in an ambulance like that, it was so surreal.

And I was still none-the-wiser about the reason why Doumeki suddenly had this crazy attack....I didn't even know what was actually going on.

Was it in his lungs? His heart....was it heart failure?

The pain that was barely expressed on his face seemed to start in his chest........so it must have been something like that.

Was this the first time it had happened?

Was this a common occurrence?

I hadn't realized how _little_ I actually knew about Doumeki until this moment. I didn't know anything really....outside of the fact that he played guitar and used to live in Chicago.

What else didn't I know about him....that could be as vital as this?

Were there other health conditions? Allergies?

What was his family situation? Was this genetic?

I don't know _anything._

God.....I've never known anything. With Kamui and Fuuma.......with anyone who's been important to me.

No more.

I refuse to be in the dark anymore.

A mousy female in pale pink scrubs approached me. "Mr. Watanuki?"

I nodded and her face relaxed. "The patient, Mr. Doumeki, has stabilized. I can take you to his room now if you would like." I was instantly on my feet. "Please do."

I was going to get my answers soon enough.

She led me down hallway after endless hallway, past automatic doors and open examination rooms until finally she stopped in-front of a closed, glass-plated door. She slid it open and stood to the side.

There Doumeki lay, eyes closed and chest slowly falling and dropping. A sigh of relief pulled itself from my lungs and past my lips before I was even conscious of it.

"We're still running some blood tests, we'll have the results first thing in the morning." The nurse said softly, and my eyes were pulled away from the site in front of me. I gave her the smallest of smiles. "Thank you."

She nodded. "You can stay in his room if you want, however, the waiting room is available as well." I shook my head. "No, no. I'll stay here, thanks."

"Have a good night." She said, turning and walking away.

I took up residence on a green cushioned chair located in the corner of Doumeki's hospital room. I sat across from Doumeki's bed, my knees tucked up to my chest, just watching him sleep. The sound of an I.V. steadily dripping lulled me to sleep as well.

--

_"Is that all of the tracks Ly? I thought there were more than that..." I asked our dread-headed music technician. He gave me his usual lethargic smile. _

_"There's a few more, but they're already done and recorded man." He said, rocking back and forth in his rolling/reclining chair._

_I gave him a curious look, staring past the pane of glass that separated the remastering room from the recording room where Doumeki and the rest all stood, making various adjustments to their instruments. "Like what?"_

_"Just some songs that I think are very personal to them ya know? Stuff that they've had done for awhile....stuff that's just..." The man trailed off._

_"Just?" I prompted, finding it odd that Doumeki wasn't forcing me into another song....not that I need much forcing anymore._

_"I think that the songs might touch on something that doesn't involve us. Something that Doumeki feels he has to do himself."_

_It surprised me how completely understanding and insightful Lionel could be sometimes, considering his usual casual aloofness._

_"I want to hear it." I said finally, my mouth moving before my mind could catch up._

_Lionel smiled his usual boyish grin. "Roger."_

_He handed me the large, cushioned headphones. I quickly put them on as Lionel clicked a few buttons on the laptop hooked up to a large switchboard used for managing all of our tracks._

_I was surprised to hear something new from them, I thought that I had heard pretty much everything they had so far, it was so different from their usual. _

_All I knew was that I liked it and that there must have been something extremely personal to this song indeed if Doumeki was trying to keep it away from me._

_**"Some will learn, many do, cover up or spread it out. Turn around, had enough, pick and choose or pass it on. Buying in, heading for, suffer now or suffer then. It's bad enough, I want the fear. Need the fear cause he's alone. (He has become) He's alone."**_

_Now I knew it was something incredibly personal, that it wasn't something specific to me considering the fact that Doumeki didn't even have Syaoran do the back-up vocals like he had in other songs.. He wasn't hiding it, it was just _his_ to sing. And he sung it so well, I hadn't realized just what kind of voice Doumeki had until this song, until he carried out notes, his voice so hypnotically beautiful, moving._

_**"Well if they're making it (making it) and they're pushing it (pushing it), leading us along. The hassle of (hassle of) all the screaming fits (screaming fits). The panic makes remorse."**_

_But what did it mean? How was this relevant to Doumeki himself? I just didn't understand._

_But he would tell me if it was something important. Wouldn't he?_

_**"After all, what's the point? Course levitation is possible. If you're a fly, achieved and gone, there's time for this and so much more. It's typical, create a world, a special place of my design. To never cope, or never care, just use the key cause he's alone. (He has become) He's alone."**_

_There was anger, disappointment, exasperation, emotions that I never would have related with anything Doumeki could ever make._

_Regret.....sadness. Hopelessness._

_**"Well if they're making it (making it) and they're pushing it (pushing it), leading us along. The hassle of (hassle of) all the screaming fits (screaming fits). The panic makes remorse. Over and over a slave. Became over and over a slave. Became over and over a slave. Became over and over a slave."**_

_And of course, finding out that Doumeki was - or could be - a rather decent screamer kinda took me for a loop as well._

_**Well if they're making it (making it) and they're pushing it (pushing it), leading us along. The hassle of (hassle of) all the screaming fits (screaming fits). The panic can't be far. Well if they're making it (making it) and they're pushing it (pushing it), leading us along. The hassle of (hassle of) all the screaming fits (screaming fits)! And the panic makes remorse."**_

_I was speechless as I removed the headphones, my eyes once again latching themselves to Doumeki's face, a light smile filling those firm lips as he watched his band mates._

_Pain. The total sum of all the emotions in that song was pain._

_But I didn't know why._

_"Are you going to confront him about it?" Lionel asked, following where my eyes were still held. I glanced at him. "No."_

_"Why not?" A ginger eyebrow was raised in my direction. I could feel a sad smile tug at my lips._

_"It's none of my concern. I don't have a right to pry."_

_Lionel shook his head with a small chuckle. He suddenly became the thirty-some-odd-years tha__t __he act__ual__l__y__ was in that moment, instead of the much much younger image his personality made him out to be._

_"More like you don't have the initiative to pry Kimihiro." _

_--_

"Oi."

I felt something gently nudge my shoulder and I made a small noise in protest, wanting to sleep a little longer.

"Oi, Watanuki. Wake up." The voice sounded irritated....and just a tad...restless?

I opened my eyes and saw that it was Doumeki, fully dressed and looming above where I sat on the same chair. "D-Doumeki?! What are you doing up?"

He didn't bother to answer, he just hauled me up onto my feet and started pushing me towards the door.

"We're leaving, lets go."

"Go?! But you're sick! We can't just _leave_! You have to get better."

Doumeki scoffed, rolling his eyes, and I was surprised at this sudden change in behavior.

"Better?" He asked mockingly, though it was barely evident in his tone.

"Yes 'Better', that's kinda what the whole 'hospital' thing is about." I said sarcastically, stopping and turning around, thus stopping Doumeki in his pursuit for the door.

"I won't get better here, lets go." He turned me around by my shoulders and started pushing me to the door more forcefully this time.

"D-D-Doumeki! What the _hell_ is your problem?!" I screeched as we breeched past the door and down the sterile hallway towards the exit.

"I'll explain later, but right _now_ I need to get out of here." There was panic clearly written all over Doumeki's face, I wasn't sure what to say.

Some of the woman working behind the reception desk gave us a curious look, and it looked as if one of them was about to speak up, but she promptly stayed silent when Doumeki sent her a glare.

_What the hell?_

He made it out of the building in no time flat, and Doumeki finally stopped having to push me once we got outside. "Where's your car?"

I gestured towards the parking garage.

"Good."

And before I knew it I was driving us back home, Doumeki staring out the window the entire time.

--

"Aren't you tired?" I asked him, having just got out of a shower and changed into some suitable clothing.

It was already morning outside, the long and unpredictable night having passed without me even realizing it.

"Not really." He shrugged, flipping to another channel from the couch across from the t.v.

I let out a harsh breath, giving him a stern look.

"How long." I stated, I wasn't giving him the option of not responding, he was _going_ to respond to me, even if I had to choke it out of him.

Doumeki shut off the t.v., but still kept his gaze to the blank screen.

I took a step closer, my voice growing more aggravated. "Doumeki, how lon-"

"Long enough." He interjected and I was stunned by the statement.

"And how long is that?" I asked incredulously, crossing my arms over my chest, placing more weight on one leg than the other.

He finally pulled his gaze away from where it was and onto me.

"Since I was a kid."

He took in a deep breath, closing his eyes, reclining completely onto the couch.

Those golden eyes finally opened, staring, half-lidded, towards the ceiling. "If I tell you..." Those eyes were on me again with a lazy turn of his head. "You have to tell me everything."

I took in a sharp breath, my eyes widening, but never leaving that penetrating gaze.

I looked down at my hands, twirling them around themselves in a nervous movement.

"I....well I, ...I-uhm,"

I nodded once, my hands ceasing their movement.

I could practically _hear_ the smirk that fell on Doumeki's lips.

His gaze shifted from me to the ceiling again, and the tension just kept building.

"I suffered from severe asthma as a child. Since before I can remember I always had it, no matter how little my exposure was to the outdoors, to any form of physical activity, I would instantly have an attack and I would be hospitalized for days on end."

I took a seat next to Doumeki on the couch, my eyes staring at his face. It was so calm, collected, but distant in a way. It made me nervous.

"I was on loads of medication, inhalers, whatever the doctors could give us. But nothing worked and my parents were desperate to find some relief for me, anything."

He sighed, looking down towards the small coffee table placed in-front of the couch.

"When I was about eight or nine they found out about some new medicine that was being developed. It hadn't even been approved by the drugs administration yet, but my parents decided that they this was the answer, that it was my cure."

"It really _was_ relevant," I breathed. Doumeki quickly turned his head to connect glances with me. "What?" He asked.

"That song, the one that you didn't have me do...I was trying to understand what it meant."

His eyes widened the smallest of amounts. "Oh."

Doumeki dropped his gaze again towards the ground and there was silence between us.

I turned to face him more fully on the couch.

"So they found this medicine..." I prompted.

A sad smirk filled those lips.

"Right. So they volunteered their only son for the product's testing, without even being aware of what consequences may result from it."

"What happened?" I asked quietly.

Doumeki shook his head. "The medicine worked...for awhile. My parents were so relieved that I could finally go outside, that I could actually have a life outside of our house. But as I continued to take it, I started to develop different symptoms, a different illness. It was similar to my previous attacks, the shortness of breath, constricted airways. I couldn't breathe, but it was so much worse than before.

"Neither the doctors, nor my parent could figure out the cause. The doctors refused to consider the fact that it was the medication making me ill,--it had just been approved for pharmaceutical production and they were making millions off of it, and my parents just blindly believed them."

"It got so bad that they would have to force the medication down my throat as I kicked and screamed, begging for them to stop. My attacks continued, but more frequently and violently than they did before and after awhile I became..."

I hadn't realized that I had started crying until I felt small droplets fall onto my clenched fists.

"Became what Doumeki?" My voice cracked and was barely audible.

He paused before answering.

"I became empty. I stopped struggling against my parents, against the doctors. I just sat quietly and endured my attacks, no matter how much worse they became. It was when I finally started coughing up blood that my parents realized that I wasn't just faking it. The side effects of the medication were so extreme that it was no longer affecting my lungs, but my heart as well. My entire upper respiratory was permanently damaged."

Another sad smile. "My mom sort of lost it at that point. Her and my father started to fight, my illness put a huge strain on their marriage."

He finally looked up at me, and I must have looked an awful mess because suddenly his arms were around me and he was pulling me to his chest.

"I'm sorry, " I cried into the soft fabric, "I'm sorry Doumeki, it's just-...that's so _terrible_...you were so _young, _and they just kept making it worse-"

He readjusted us so that he was resting against the couch's armrest, my back to his chest and his arms securely around my shoulders.

Doumeki buried his face in my hair, holding me tighter, making calm shushing noises.

It was ridiculous. Doumeki was telling me _his_ life story and _I'm_ the one being comforted.

"Shh, It gets better." I could feel those lips twitch up slightly against my hair.

"About a year later, my grandfather finally had enough of my parent's constant bickering and belligerence and decided to take things into his own hands."

I decided within that moment that I really really liked Doumeki's grandfather.

"He took me in and that's when I moved to Chicago. He found me a specialist and I was taken off all of my medication in exchange for some different herbal remedies and physical therapy. After a few months I started to feel better than I had my entire life, I was able to actually live independently, without relying on medication or the protection of the indoors."

Doumeki's hold, which had relaxed as he spoke of his grandfather, suddenly tightened again, and he let out a deep breath. "And now it gets worse." He paused again and I tried my best to look up at him from where I was held.

"My grandfather....he was a detective and I guess he got over-involved in something that he shouldn't have been even remotely involved with, because one day I came home to find out that it had burnt down and he had gone missing. Social Services intervened and I was sent back to live with my now-divorced mother and father."

Those hands tightened to the point it was painful.

"A month later his body was found. It had washed ashore and was discovered by some guy who was walking his dog."

"I had lost my only hope that things were okay, that I actually had someone who was there for me. I was back in L.A., living between my mother and my father." He let out a soft chuckle, and I felt the rumble it caused in his chest. "I became a delinquent of sorts."

Another small laugh. "My dad had finally decided to take my mother to court. He demanded full custody and my mom happily obliged. My dad was going to move back to Chicago a week later."

"I was indifferent through the entire ordeal, I had nothing to live for, nothing to aspire to. I was just pulled from place to place, and I didn't care." He buried his face into my hair again and I placed a hand on the ones around my chest.

"Until it was the day before I was going to move, and for some reason, I decided to go out for a bit. That 'bit' became hours and I found myself claiming witness to the event that would eventually change my life forever."

I tilted my head to the side and Doumeki looked down at me, this incredible softness in those eyes.

"It was _you_. You changed who I was, you, Kamui and Fuuma. I heard you sing that night and that's what started my interest in music."

Then something clicked in my brain.

"That's what you were going on about, when I was playing it for the others."

Doumeki nodded. "Everything was different after that. I moved with my dad, and I started high school, taught myself guitar. My dad noticed my developing interest and decided to get me lessons. I joined band my freshman year and that's how I met Kunogi."

I laughed a bit. "Wait, wait wait. You were in _band_?"

He gave me a quasi-questioning look. "Yeah...I played bari-sax during marching season and clarinet during concert.*" I choked on air. For some reason I just _couldn't_ picture Doumeki in some school band (whether it was marching or concert was irrelevant). I was waiting for a 'One time at band camp...' story, but apparently there wasn't going to be one.

"I joined water polo junior year and that's how I met Sakura,--as well as her twin sister. We discovered our mutual interest in music and we started to play together, Kunogi, Sakura and I. That's pretty much how it all started."

I rolled my eyes and leaned more into Doumeki's chest. Of course this kid who suffered from an illness in his lungs during childhood would join one of the most rigorous of sports, I wouldn't be surprised if he joined _cross_ _country_ for goodness sakes.

"And what about Syaoran?" I asked. Doumeki smiled. "We met Syaoran after we all graduated and decided to move to California. Apparently Sakura and Syaoran had known each other as children and that's how we were introduced to him and his brother. It was a few months after we all started to play together that we were discovered by Lattice. You know the rest."

We sat in silence for a while, Doumeki holding me against his chest, and I partially returned the embrace.

Doumeki made a small flinching movement and I instantly let go of my hold on him. "What is it?" I asked, understandable panic clear in my tone, turning around so that I was facing him from in-between his legs.

He shook his head. "It's nothing." He grumbled rubbing his hand. I rolled my eyes. "It's not 'nothing', let me see." I demanded, holding out my hand.

"I'm fine." Doumeki countered and I let out a harsh sigh. "Just let me see." I said angrily grabbing Doumeki's wrist.

There, in the middle of Doumeki's hand, was a forming bruise. My eyebrows scrunched together. "Is this nothing?" I asked mockingly.

"It's just from removing that I.V., it'll go away."

"What the hell were you thinking just ripping it out of your skin, huh? It's so irresponsible...stupid, God you're so-"

Doumeki gripped my chin firmly, his face so close I couldn't even see his eyes. "Shut up." He said smugly, before his lips captured mine.

I couldn't understand the complete relief that flooded through me at the contact, the fact that we weren't sure which direction to go, if we should be adding more pressure or stopping completely.

That grip went to the back of my neck, and I reveled in the touch, gripping his shirt and pulling him closer. It was a tug-o-war between us as we moved to accommodate the other, lips gliding against lips, pushing and pulling, hoping for more, but expecting less.

"Mm, Dou-" He took my starting complaint as an invitation and invaded my mouth. I gasped at the hot contact, not able to stop the slight moan that slipped out as I arched into the touch.

"Doumeki..." I complained, trying, with surprisingly little effort, to get him to stop.

It was at that moment that I realized our positions, one that seemed to be reoccurring between us. He was hovering over me, but the angle of his face and his short bangs made his eyes invisible to me. He sighed, with a barely audible chuckle.

"What is it?" I asked, internally berating myself for how breathless I sounded.

Stupid Doumeki....stupid urges....stupid addicting lips.

"_Now_ I'm tired." He said simply, before laying on top of me, but I noticed that he was mindful enough to not squish me entirely with his weight.

I couldn't help the lopsided grin. I hit him lightly on the back of the head before my arms wrapped around his shoulders and neck.

"Then go to sleep." I said gently, closing my eyes as well.

I could feel his chest gently rising and falling against mine. "Sing to me." He asked/demanded, and I could feel that smirk against my cheek.

I pouted and hit his head again. "As if."

He shrugged lightly.

I sighed and rolled my eyes again for the umpteenth time that day. "Fine! But it's not because I want to, it's because _you_ were begging me to, you got that?!" I said gruffly and that smirk reappeared. "What do you want to hear?" I grumbled, my voice suddenly quiet and timid.

"Anything."

"Ugh, you're not help _at all_."

But I stopped my complaints and stared at the ceiling, feeling like I was slowly being pulled into the rhythm of Doumeki's breathing, of the calmness surrounding us despite everything we had just gone through.

"On a cobweb, afternoon in a room full of emptiness. By a freeway, I confessed I was lost in the pages of a book full of death, reading how we'll die alone and if we're good we'll lay to rest anywhere we want to go." I'm not sure why that was the song that came to mind, but I felt it was soothing otherwise despite it's lyrics, despite the fact that I sang it slightly higher than it should be sung, that it was lighter and not as deep.

"In your house I long to be, room by room patiently." I could feel Doumeki's breath evening out, becoming more elongated and deeper still. "I'll wait for you there, like a stone, I'll wait for you there alone."

My eyes slid shut and my singing became even quieter than it already was. I felt my hand gently gliding through Doumeki's short cropped hair in a monotonous motion that I didn't even register doing anymore, it just seemed so natural.

Iridescent feelings came to me, things that I didn't want to acknowledge or name, confess to.

But I was comfortable none the less, despite everything.

I fell asleep.

--

* - Uhm, I'm not in band, but I am a choir-nerd and I am associated with a lot of band-geeks. One of my good friends plays Bari-sax (baritone saxophone, just an fyi.) and another friend plays clarinet all year long (he's gonna be majoring in Music at UCI I'm so proud of him!), but I do hear them talking about how some people switch instruments during different seasons.

A/N: I've noticed in a lot of AU fanfiction Doumeki doesn't really have any back-story at all, he's always just the priest-in-training/perfect life/ Watanuki protector character (except for in Assistance Needed, which is a very good story that everyone should read) so I was determined to give Doumeki some DEPTH!! Notice how the reason for Doumeki's attack nor the reason Himawari was so concerned over Doumeki's dreams (back in like....chapter four I think) wasn't revealed in this chapter OH WHAT COULD IT MEAN???!!! *giggles*

Anyways~ I made a preview image for the last chapter over at my deviantart page, it's full of **shounen-ai** goodness and I **strongly** suggest you all look at it~

It's at: undrnoted-philosophy . deviantart . com/art/Don-t-Leave-Me-147180899 (remove the spaces)

that's all from me! Please review~

A-n-B


	24. Spit It Out

A/N: Wow, what is this....an update? Why yes it is! And quite an update it shall be!!

SECRETS! DECIET! REGULATIONS! This will be one intense chapter my dear readers! Finally the TRUTH of Watanuki's past is revealed as well as a little bit of DOUMEKI'S! ....kinda....

Sorry it's taken so long....

ALSO! I'm basing Yukito's appearance off of TRC, since he's blonde in that one, but has like.......-ish hair in CCS.

**Chapter 23: Spit It Out **(IAMX!!! a great band that I just discovered this week, go listen to this song!)

_--_

_"Shizuka, I'd like you to meet my son, Yukito." _

_My music teacher indicated towards the petite boy standing in-front of me, blonde hair, round-rimmed glasses and one of the most precious faces I had ever seen. _

_Meeting someone so completely feminine yet so distinctly male that was also my age really surprised me, I was captivated by him. The young boy smiled and stretched out a hand. _

_"It's nice to meet you Shizuka. I'm sure we'll become great friends." Yukito smiled, that small upturn of lips lighting up the whole room._

_I glanced at the aged man with similar glasses standing over us, then back at the extended hand._

_I warily grabbed it, shaking with a small 'Hn'._

_I didn't realize what that meeting would start between us, or just how much it would effect everything now._

_Everything that I was trying to build with Watanuki, whatever it is that's between us. _

_And I was keeping this from him._

_And he would never find out if I could help it._

--

My eyes blearily opened and I felt something pushing against my shoulder.

"What is it?" I groggily asked, trying to reorientate myself with where I was exactly.

"Shh, go back to sleep." Came Watanuki's slightly-irritated-externally-but-internally-not tone. I tried to get my eyes to focus on him. When did he end up underneath me?

He tried again to get up without disturbing me, which must have been what he was trying to do before I woke up--thus foiling his attempts--, and I just rolled to the side so he could stand.

"My phones ringing, hold on..." He said with a small smidgen of...sadness was it? I could really tell. God, why was I still so tired?

Why am I asking myself so many questions?

"Hello?" I heard Watanuki's voice from the bedroom. I flopped back onto the couch, my face getting slightly squished by the pillows that were still retaining Watanuki's body heat.

"Yeah Ted, yeah....I know, but look-.... N-no I am _not_ just getting up!" I smirked at Watanuki's one-sided conversation with Mr. Smith. What was it with those two...why did he always seem so protective of Watanuki?

Not that I'm jealous or anything.

Not at all.

Damn I'm tired.

The conversation became background noise as I closed my eyes to see if I could fall back asleep.

And before I knew it, I felt a thin hand running through my hair, tentative and hesitant at first. I took in a deep breath. "What did he want."

A small smirk, another stroke. "To talk. To set down regulations."

I let out a secular cough. "Regulations? What are you a kid?"

He hit my head again. "Shut up. He's just concerned."

I managed to get a hand under my chin in order too look at him more fully. I just continued to stare at those deep blue eyes, the way those porcelain cheeks began to color under my gaze.

He sputtered for a bit. "Wha-What is it?! Stop staring at me like that!"

"Should I be concerned too?" I asked, though my voice did sound surprisingly condescending, I had never noticed it before.

Watanuki's brow knitted together and he pouted, turning his head to the side. "I don't care. If you want to."

I rolled my eyes, rolling onto my back in the process.

"So when are we going to 'talk'?" I asked. Watanuki looked at me for a long, hard moment.

"When we get back....probably. But Ted wants to see us right _now_," he made a small shoo-ing motion with his hands, "so get up and get ready, we've got to leave."

I shrugged, rolling back onto my stomach and thus Watanuki's thighs.

"WHAT THE HELL! I just said to GET UP you big....dumb.....IDIOT! So GET UP!" He ranted, shoving at my shoulders and punching my back.

"A little lower," I mumbled and I felt Watanuki stiffen.

"I'm not giving you a _fucking_ BACK MASSAGE!! Get the hell up!"

I made no move to do so. Watanuki's reactions were just so funny, I couldn't help but keep provoking them out of him.

"FINE! I'll just leave you here!" He stood up and went back into the bedroom.

Well, I guess our play-time was over.

--

"No answering the door. No answering unknown numbers. I want you fully clad whenever you leave or enter Lattice. You go straight to Doumeki's or straight here, no side trips unless you're either with myself, Yuko, Lionel or," Ted begrudgingly turned his gaze to me for the smallest of seconds, as if he was judging me, sizing me up, "Doumeki. Got it?"

Watanuki sighed, having agreed to the same thing only with slight deviations several times before during the length of our entire two hour conversation with Mr. Smith. "Yeah Ted, I get it. I'm under lock and key." The older man sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"I'm not joking Kim. You're not going to end up like them, I'm not going to just simply sit back like they did. I'm _not_ going to let you get dragged into something like _that_ again. Not as long as I can help it. Don't you think you owe it to yourself to be a little bit more concerned about self-preservation? You're not the only one you're hurting you know?"

Watanuki seemed surprised at the last statement, his eyes going slightly cold, the emotions they usually displayed being withheld within that stare. "Ted I...I'm-"

"I know Kim, I know. We're just worried is all. And we can't afford any mishaps. You're too precious to us."

The boy's cheeks turned bright pink.

Mr. Smith finally turned his attention to me. "Now do you understand? I don't want him without supervision for even a second if it can be helped. Don't give into his stubbornness, he doesn't really mean it anyway."

Watanuki squawked. "I'm still HERE you know!"

I gave a slight smirk. "I haven't yet."

Mr. Smith gave a cocky smile as well, obviously enjoying the fact that the both of us were getting under Watanuki's skin. "I'm trusting that will power of yours Doumeki. But I swear if anything, _anything _happens while he's under your watch," The man's tone became dangerous and had I been anyone else, I would probably be running in the other direction with my tail between my legs, "you're finished. Got that? I will destroy everything and anything you hold dear, any hope that you have of a decent life and by God so help me I WILL-"

"OOOKAY!" Watanuki quickly cut in, hoisting me out of my chair and hastily pushing me towards the door. "Well, Ted, we've got to be off, it's been wonderful talking to you and don't worry, I'll be good, I'll look both ways before I cross the street, be aware of stranger-danger. It's the buddy-system for me. Talktoyoulaterbye!"

And with that Watanuki shut the doors behind us, panting and hunched over as he rested his forehead against the carved mahogany.

"The buddy-system requires you hold hands. Otherwise no one will know who your buddy is-"

"Oh shut up." Watanuki shot back, the usual bite to his anger lacking due to his exhaustion.

--

"God, don't you have ANYTHING in your fridge? What do you do? Live off of freaking frozen gyoza and cereal?!!" Watanuki asked indignantly, searching through cabinets and other nooks and crannies of the kitchen.

I shrugged and sat at one of the stools placed around the island in the center of the room. "I usually eat on the go."

"God, that's even worse." He grimaced, sighing dramatically. He looked back through the pantry and fridge. "Well," Another glance through the freezer and he pulled out a package of ground turkey, "How about some burgers?"

Another shrug. Food was one of the last things on my mind, though the fact that it _was_ Watanuki making it made it just that much more appealing. I wanted to find out more about why Watanuki was going to be regulated so intensely, what sparked all of it.

For some reason, I just felt like I was missing something. Like there was something off with the story that Yuko and Mr. Smith had told us that day, about Kamui and Fuuma's death.

That just had to be it. If it was so life-threatening to Watanuki, there just had to be something more.

The younger set to work about the kitchen, griping and mumbling every now and again in some complaint about the general upkeep of my kitchen space.

"What happened that day, really."

I saw Watanuki's back tense, he stopped whatever activity he had been proceeding in and seemed frozen to the spot, turned away from me.

He tried to laugh it off. "Wha-I don't know what you're talking about." He stated indignantly, starting again to chop or dice or whatever it was he was doing.

"You said you would tell me." I continued, as if he hadn't said anything.

"I said I would _probably_ tell you."

"You agreed this morning."

"I don't seem to recall-"

"Watanuki."

And with that he froze again, slamming a knife against the countertop, his shoulders going rigid.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" He asked, his voice grating, almost desperate sounding.

I waited a bit before answering, really thinking out what my response would be.

"Because either way I'm going to get dragged into it," Watanuki tried to interrupt me but I continued on, "And I would rather know what I'm up against."

Those shoulders relaxed a little, as if Watanuki's anger had deflated, he was relieved.

"And that's the only reason?" His voice sounded worried, curious, and there was something else layered in it that I didn't really want to decipher. "It's for yourself, right?"

I looked at those blue eyes that had finally turned on me, wondering what else he could be hoping for.

I nodded once.

Watanuki sighed.

"Okay." He said with the slightest of smiles, taking a seat across from me on the island.

"I'll tell you."

Watanuki took a deep breath, let it out, looked around a bit, his face reading all levels of uncomfortable. His eyes lingered on the door, and I could practically see his mental process in the works. "You're not getting away." I said and he jumped a bit, startled.

He gave out a nervous chuckle, "Right." He responded lightly.

Finally he conceded, taking a seat next to me, looking down at his laps and the hands resting there.

Another deep breath.

"Okay."

He kept his eyes trained on those slim thighs.

"Before I was even involved with AntiPro, when they had just started out, Kamui and Fuuma hadn't met yet. The band consisted of Fai, Kurogane, Kamui and then two other members."

His dark blue eyes shifted to the counter, "The first of those two was Kamui's little brother, Subaru. The second was-..."

He swallowed, "-the second was Kamui's boyfriend at the time...Sei-Seishiro."

I had this irking feeling that this Seishiro person was more important than just another member of AntiPro, just from how skittish Watanuki seemed.

"Well, AntiPro went from being the garage band they were to being signed by a major label, Morning Star Records."

A small saddened smile came across those full pink lips.

"It was soon after that when Kamui met Fuuma, and then not so soon after when they realized their feelings for one another. Of course, that left Kamui in an odd situation so he broke it off with Seishiro..."

Those blue eyes seemed to hold a wet glimmer to them and Watanuki coughed once to clear his throat.

"And Seishiro wasn't too pleased with that...to say the least."

"He....well he managed to get Subaru on his side and they left the band without a word. Kamui was enraged, and scared for his brother, not to mention the loss of two band members. Fuuma stepped in and became Antipro's lead guitarist just in time for their first tour and they all managed together, Kamui, Fuuma, Fai and Kurogane."

Watanuki seemed to relax a bit, his shoulders noticeably un-tensing.

"When they stopped in L.A. that was when they found me and you already know how that happened." He said with a smile. "I traveled with them for the remainder of their tour, getting signed by Morning Star as well and quickly learning everything and anything they could teach me."

"Within a week of being back in Chicago they were already getting ready to go on tour again, they're feedback was just so immense. And I was the tag along through the whole thing. The photo-shoots, the press conferences, the small recording sessions they had in-between shows and everything else."

"It was so crazy, I had nothing, literally not a penny to my name, and then they just came out of nowhere and suddenly I _had_ something. A home, a family. Not to mention food and shelter, which was a huge plus."

He laughed carelessly after that, and it was one of the happiest sounds I had ever heard from him.

"Well, we went on tour, performing from city to endless city, night after night until finally we got to New York. One of Morning Star's secondary branches is located there and we decided to have another recording session to celebrate the end of the tour.........That was the day I met Seishiro."

Watanuki's hands began to shake.

"It was a memorable experience to say the least...."

He swallowed.

"Th-Three days later...on the night of our last s-show I was...k-kidnapped."

His jaw stiffened, those pouty lips tightening just the smallest amount.

"Kamui and Fuuma received a ransom note saying that they had to play that show without me, and they did........."

More glossing of those bottomless eyes,

"because it stated that only when the show was done would they receive anymore information about my whereabouts."

A shiver ran up and down Watanuki's spine.

"It was their worst performance apparently, since I wasn't there, there was a huge gap in the music...it was all my fault..."

I thought of how terribly Watanuki looked on that day of our first performance, frail, worn-out, it must have been so terrifying to think that he wouldn't be able to make it in time to save our concert....just how he wasn't able to be there for Kamui and Fuuma.

"-if I had known I woul-" I tried to explain, a sudden wave of guilt filling me, but Watanuki just shook his head,

"It's okay, it was a good wake-up call anyways. I had forgotten about my responsibility to you guys....about my contract, too busy trying to chase after them..."

I couldn't look him in the face, and so it was my turn to avert my gaze.

He rubbed his arm slowly then continued on.

"I had passed out when I was kidnapped, and when I finally came to I was blindfolded, gagged, tied-up, but I could hear....I could hear everything so clearly."

His hand squeezed his arm tightly, ceasing it's previously comforting movements.

"Though I had only heard his voice once before, I knew who it was that was talking...who had kidnapped me. It was Seishiro."

"He realized I was awake and then everything went downhill from there."

"He started to tell me about his plans, of why he did what he did. He knew that Kamui and Fuuma saw me as their little brother...almost as their son, that they would do anything for me and we has going to exploit that to the fullest."

Watanuki looked at me with pleading eyes.

"...He was going to use me to kill them."

--

A/N: WTH a f-ing CLIFFHANGER!! Really A-n-B really? You couldn't just get this chapter over with?!

.....ahhh haha....well, you see, I really wanna explain the next scene with a flashback....and I can't do that from Doumeki's P.O.V. so it HAS to be in another chapter you see~ please don't hate me DX

Again, sorry it took me so long to update, I've been occupied with other activities lately...

Review please...even though I don't deserve it with my crappy writing......

love love

A-n-B


	25. Anyone

A/N: Weeeeeee~ Look an update! And it's practically on time! :D This entire chapter is a flashback, and mighty intense it be!! Finally! How Kamui and Fuuma were killed is REVEALED! Dun dun duuuuun!

Enjoy~

**Warnings**: Language, Death, and other illegal happenings.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, per usual.

**Chapter 25 ( i just don't know my numbers anymore) : Anyone** (inspired by this song by Moving Units, go listen~)

--

_"LET ME GO! Don't do this! Please let me go!" I pleaded with the man, tears collecting in my eyes, streaming down my face. _

_I was going to lose my life again. _

_Seishiro was going to take it from me._

_And what's worse..._

_He was going to use me to do it._

_I was going to be the reason for it._

_Seishiro just laughed, a cold chill running through me at the sound, but I didn't stop struggling, not for a second._

_I'd be damned if I was going to let my family be ruined without a fucking fight._

_"You can't get away with it! There's no way-"_

_A loud banging interrupted my pleading and I instantly shut up at the sound of Kamui's voice beyond the door._

_"SEISHIRO! Let us in right this God damn minute you sick BASTARD!" _

_I was grabbed by my shirt collar and thrown effortlessly into a small closet. _

_I was about to scream, to yell for them to run away, but duct tape was quickly shoved over my mouth, wrapped around my head._

_Oh God....it was happening._

_I had failed._

_"Now if you say so much as a word I'll kill them do you understand little one?" The whole sentence was said smoothly and with a smile._

_And I was scared to death._

_Seishiro stood and walked away, sliding the closet door partially shut, still allowing me a peek at the outside room._

_He wanted me to see, to witness the entire thing._

_I silently screamed, eyes clenching tight as I tried to bite at the offending material strapped over my face._

_The banging on the door, which had been constant since it had started, suddenly stopped and I heard Seishiro being shoved aside._

_"Where is he dammit?! What the hell are you planning you son of a bi-"_

_"Now now Kamui, such vulgar language really isn't necessary."_

_"NECESSARY?! You fucking-"_

_"Kamui..." Came Fuuma's slightly more controlled voice, it was barely visible but there was just as much hatred, irritation, and fear in his tone as Kamui's._

_After a pause Fuuma continued, "We came, now please give him back."_

_I gave up my futile struggle with the duct tape, trying to see through the small crack left open. _

_Fuuma was holding Kamui back, the man on the verge of lunging at Seishiro, who was casually leaning against a moth-eaten sofa in the middle of the room._

_"Not so fast Fuuma. There are certain prerequisites that must be met."_

_"Prerequisites!" Kamui demanded. Seishiro chuckled, "Yes. A small negotiation if you must."_

_"Then talk! We just want him back! We'll give you anything, just please let him go." Kamui pleaded, and I had never heard his voice so torn, to anguished._

_I started to cry even harder._

_Why wouldn't this just end?_

_"That is precisely what I was hoping for you see," Seishiro now stood in front of Kamui, placing a pistol into his hand mutely, "the price for his freedom is both of your lives. Nothing more nothing less."_

_Kamui's brilliant eyes widened, his mouth going slack as he looked down at the gun now in his trembling hands. _

_"You're out of your fucking mind!" Fuuma exclaimed, knocking the pistol out of Kamui's hands and across the room._

_The weapon skidded to a halt just in front of the closet and my heart stopped._

_Seishiro walked over to the fallen item, picking it up with an air of nonchalance an evil glimmer in those eyes._

_"Well, if that's how you really feel..."_

_The closet door was thrown open and I was being grabbed and picked up._

_I felt the end of the gun shoved against my temple and suddenly everything came into focus._

_"then I'll just have to get rid of him, since he's not that important to you, he's a hinderance is he not?"_

_"Kimihiro!" Kamui exclaimed, sheer pain and terror radiating off his body. _

_"Let him go brother!" Fuuma pleaded in unison with Kamui's exclamation._

_My eyes pleaded for them to leave, to get the hell away and to never come back._

_"No..." Kamui whispered, and I knew that there was nothing I could do._

_That it was useless._

_"We'll do it." _

_The man smirked and looked down at me._

_"There's been a change in plans."_

_Suddenly I was thrown towards Kamui who caught me, holding me steady._

_And then there was a deafening 'BANG'._

_Seishiro had fired and Fuuma jumped in front of us, taking the hit straight to the heart._

_Kamui screamed and went to catch Fuuma before he hit the floor._

_I couldn't hear anything, not the words Kamui was yelling, not Seishiro's maddening laughter._

_Just a high pitched ringing and it wouldn't go the fuck away._

_I was trembling so terribly, all I could do was watch as Kamui stared down pleadingly at Fuuma's almost serene face._

_I couldn't hear the words, but I could make them out by the way his lips moved._

_'I love you.' Fuuma said with a small smile, before he went completely limp, those eyes not even closing._

_Kamui's hands were stained red, still pressing harshly against Fuuma's chest, a delirious attempt to stop the bleeding._

_The ringing slowly dissipated just in time to hear the end of Kamui's agonized cry as he rocked Fuuma back and forth, hugging him to his chest. Then Seishiro spoke._

_"And now it's your turn little one," He said, aiming the pistol at me, where I stood dumbly just behind Kamui._

_The cocking of the gun and the turn of the barrel was so incredibly loud in my ears, vibrating and echoing._

_"No!"_

_The trigger was pulled, another deafening shot went off, and then everything seemed to slow down._

_Like I was watching some old time movie, where the video quality's kinda dulled and scratchy._

_Kamui's eyes widened as he stared at me, protecting me just as Fuuma had protected us, the bullet lodging straight into the back of his neck and going all the way through, flying past my own cheek by mere inches._

_Blood splattered against my face, and all I could do was stare._

_I couldn't do a damn thing._

_Kamui collapsed onto me and we both sank to the floor. _

_My hands were still bound, my mouth still covered. _

_I couldn't even console him, hold him, tell him how much he meant. How sorry I was._

_He was just barely laying on my legs and I watched as the life drained out of those incredibly beautiful eyes._

_My scream was muted, my eyes were burning._

_Kamui's blood began to sink into my clothing, staining it just has his hands had been stained with Fuuma's blood._

_I just wanted it to end._

_They were gone, both of them, just like that._

_For me._

_Because of me._

_What did I have now?_

_Again I was being picked up by the back of my shirt, and I screamed and thrashed, begging: "STOP! LET ME GO! LET ME STAY! KILL ME TOO!", but it was muffled, unintelligible. _

_I was thrown again into that closet, Seishiro's hand gripping my neck, pinning me to the back wall. "Now you stay here little one. And don't you dare say a word. If you do, I will find you. I will hunt you down and take care of you myself. No more singing. No more nothing. Got that?"_

_My comply was muffled, tears streaming and never ending. He smiled. "Good."_

_And then I was knocked out._

_--_

A/N: How was that eh?! Pretty intense right?!

Anyways, Doumeki will be back in the next chapter, don't worry, and then we'll get back to the whole band/singing/performing/touring/musicvideos/recording thing. (pssh, as if that's what you guys want XD)

Please review! Thank you mighty kindly~

A-n-B


	26. Move Along

A/N: Whoo! I've actually been writing lately, how cool is that?

I'm sorry the last chapter was so incredibly depressing, but don't worry. What comes around goes around right?! (God I can't wait to get to that part!) ANWAYS! In order to compensate for the last chapter I give you: Yuko!past, singing and a DouWata make-out! Look how I take care of you guys like that~ XD

Disclaimer/Song Used: I own nothing.

Where There's Gold - Dashboard Confessional (there's one line in this song that is like, my second favorite song quote of all time!)

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Move Along** (Alright! All American Rejects ref.~)

--

"It was Fai and Kurogane who found me."

Watanuki's face was set in stone, distant and it scared me, far more than what he had told me, of how Kamui and Fuuma had been viciously murdered.

Part of him was dead, part of him was never going to come back and I didn't know what to do.

How do you bring something like that back? Where do you even start?

"I was hospitalized for months, with therapy, meds, rehab, the works, and yet somehow the media never caught wind of it. It was probably Yuko's doing....or maybe Clow's, I never bothered to ask. When I was finally released I got out of there and came back to California. I managed to get a job, start a new life and then Ted found me and I was slowly brought back into music again, despite my better judgement."

"Clow?" I asked. It was the only thing that I didn't understand from what he said.

Something seemed to spark in those dull blue eyes and I was instantly relieved of a weight I was only vaguely aware of.

"Oh right," Those full lips quirked in a semblance of a smile. "Clow is Yuko's husband....well, soon to be ex-husband."

"Yuko's married?" I asked, surprised that I didn't know something like that about my own manager.

Watanuki nodded, his features softening. "They're really wonderful together too."

"Then why are they getting a divorce?"

He sighed, resting his chin against his palm. "She's got this thing about appearing weak. And she thinks that being with him, loving him as much as she does, is a weakness. So she's eliminating it by getting a divorce."

My eyebrows furrowed. "It just sounds like she's afraid."

Watanuki gave me this look, this odd sort of stare that seemed to say: 'How do you know?' And then he smiled a little more fully.

"That's what I think too. She's afraid of depending on someone, afraid of giving away her heart like that. Which is completely understandable."

"Are you speaking from personal experience?" I jabbed, knowing it would annoy the smaller male.

He glared. I shrugged.

"So then why did she bother to get married in the first place?"

Watanuki collected himself again, trying to act mature, trying to not let me irk him as much as I know I did.

"She says it was a matter of convenience, a way of climbing the corporate ladder." He laughed. "I think it's because she was swept off her feet. Clow has a way of doing that to people, making everything appear so easy, even the most outrageous of things."

I stared at him curiously, or what was my muted form of curiosity.

"How do you know him? Through Yuko?"

He shook his head. "Through Kamui and Fuuma. He's the founder of Morning Star Records. Yuko was their manager."

Another lightbulb went off.

"So that's how you knew her. That day when she picked us up."

Watanuki laughed, "I was scared out of my mind when I saw her, I was afraid that everything that had happened would repeat itself. And then you went and had that stupid concert and I was even more freaked out, and now Seishiro's back."

"So your fears weren't completely unfounded." I said, the slightest edge of humor and comfort in it.

He looked at me, complete uncertainty evident on his face. "When I went to Chicago, I left to finish their CD. I thought that if I could then things would change, that I'd be able to get over their deaths and get some closure."

He let out a shaky breath, "But I couldn't do it. I couldn't finish it in time because I still can't accept what's happened. I can't even do this one thing for them, I'm so useless."

"Then accept it." I said flatly and those blue eyes began to fill with pure anger.

"LIKE IT'S THAT EASY!" Watanuki squawked. "Do you even know how _hard_ it is?! Do you even GET IT?! I miss them so damn much! I owe them even more dammit! How can I just accept the fact that they were KILLED and be okay with it, huh!? You tell me that you IDIOT!"

"I'll help you then."

"WHAT?!" He demanded, face reddening with what I was _assuming_ to be anger. "You can't just _HELP_ me like it's nothing, you- because it's just-- and then I'd- and...and you, I...."

He sat back down on the kitchen stool, an introspective look on his face.

"Wait, that might actually be a good idea." He mumbled, but then his face quickly morphed into infuriated surprise. "_NO_ dammit, I don't-...okay maybe I do need you help....a little....FINE!"

Watanuki quickly stood and grabbed my elbow, heading towards the door.

"Wait, where are we going?" I asked with subtle surprise.

"To help me idiot, isn't that _obvious_?!"

--

"Thanks for coming so quickly Ly, I know it's late." Watanuki apologized as our music technician entered the room.

"Hey, no problem, Ann was just getting Chris down to sleep, so it's no big deal." The ginger-haired man casually stated. "What can I do for you?"

"I need to record a track that needs to be sent over to Morning Star, can you do that?"

"Sure thing, but won't you need Fai and Kurogane for this too?" The man asked, apparently he was more involved than I thought if he knew of Watanuki's other band mates.

He shook his head, "No, unfortunately I just need that oaf over there." Watanuki gestured to me as the aforementioned 'oaf'.

"Cool, I'm ready when you are Kimihiro, you guys can head on into the recording room."

Watanuki and I did as we were told and went into the designated room. "How did he know that Fai and Kurogane were doing this with you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Lionel was AntiPro's music tech too."

Figures.

Watanuki pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. "Now, since you're such a freaking band-geek,"

"-Nerd." I corrected,

He glared and huffed, but chose to ignore my comment in general. "I figured that you'd be fine with just the music sheet."

I took the folded square and opened it, scanning the printed notes and hearing them in my head.

Watanuki sighed, a slight blush to his cheeks. "I need you to play guitar, I'd have Fai do it, but I think that this way will work out better."

I nodded once and mumbled an 'okay.' If Watanuki felt comfortable enough to have me do this for him, then I wasn't going to argue.

"And I need you to sing it too...It's a bit out of my range."

I looked at him, slightly more surprised. "Are you sure?"

He smiled, "Yeah, I'll just do the harmony."

"Alright then."

Watanuki went and grabbed the studio acoustic resting in it's stand and then handed it to me. "Ready?"

"Hn."

"DON'T 'HN' AT ME?!" He yelled.

I shrugged and nodded to Lionel who was watching our exchange from his seat with a lethargic smile.

It had been awhile since I had played anything cold*, but it was nice to know that I could still read and play fluidly without struggle.

It was a rather simple song to play, repetitive and bouncy.

It was the words I was worried about, since they weren't mine.

**"Step on the stage, the lights the praise, the curtain calls and the big parade. You know that life all too well."**

And then Watanuki came in and everything didn't seem too bad.

**"The promise, the pain, the valor, the rage. Hold up your hand for the bow and the wave. You know his touch a little too well. You throw yourself into their arms, mistresses have all the fun, but no ones ever there to take you home."**

I had the smallest inclination of who and what this song was about, though I didn't truly understand the connection yet. Other than that, I was surprised once again at how well our voice mixed, or how easily Watanuki could hit high notes without going into falsetto**.

**"Box up your gloves and your down coats. Bound for the sun and the West Coast, were upper-crust tragedies are bound. A tip for the girl at the coat check, the guy at the door and the bar back. They know your face oh so well."**

Then the notes became out of _my_ range and Watanuki took over, easily, without even batting an eye.

"But movies never made you famous, all your dreams got lost or traded, and all you ever cared about got lost. But you are surely still an actress all the men would fined attractive and all you ever dreamed of was the cost..."

And then the tone changed, become more solemn and short. Watanuki and I switched again.

**"Where there's gold there's a gold digger. Where there's gold there's a gold digger. Where there's gold there's a gold digger. ****Where there's gold there's a gold digger. Where there's gold there's a gold digger. Where there's gold there's a gold digger. You throw yourself into their arms, mistresses have all the fun, but no ones ever there to take you home."**

I turned and looked at Watanuki, adrenaline pumping through my veins. It just felt _so good_ to sing with him, to _be _with him.

He stared back at me with that cloudiness in his eyes and I knew we were thinking the same thing.

The part of him that I had thought died with Kamui and Fuuma was slowly coming back.

I spared a small glance at Lionel and he gave us a thumbs-up to indicate a good recording. And if it was good by his standards then it was fine by me.

I rested the guitar against the wall, trying to calm my breath all the while.

But I couldn't and I could practically _feel_ Watanuki's eyes burning into my back. I turned and grabbed his wrist, murmuring a small 'lets go' before pulling him out of the room.

Watanuki said a short 'thank you Ly!' as we continued to leave, exiting the studio and heading down several small hallways until I couldn't take it anymore.

I pinned him against a wall, a bit firmer than I would've liked, as my lips ascended on his. He was instantly reciprocating, leaning into me as a hand went to his hip and pulled him closer. Tongues swiped furiously and in a heated moment of desperation Watanuki hooked his leg around my waist, just trying to get closer, to get _more. _

Breathing didn't seem to be a factor in our endeavors, taking in quick gasps of breath between exchanges of taste. I started to nip down his jaw, to his neck before sucking on it thoroughly. The sound of Watanuki gasping and trying to gain control of his lungs was so amazingly intoxicating as well as amusing. To know that I was reducing him to this, it was stronger than anything I had ever felt before.

And that's what shocked me the most.

I started to slow in my assault, my tongue becoming languid against his skin, before I finally retreated back to those lips, laying lazy kisses on them that he seemed to enjoy more than anything as his leg slid down from my hip back to the floor. There was a sweetness to our actions now that had never been there before and it felt like it was melting something probably vital inside of me.

We delivered several more chaste kisses before our breathing evened out and all we could do was stand there and hold each other. Watanuki became mellow in his hormonally induced high and nuzzled his face into my shoulder before letting out a relieved laugh.

"That was surprisingly nice."

I nodded, completely agreeing.

He looked up at me, kissing my lips again, slow and sweet, before he smiled.

"Lets go home."

I agreed and we left Lattice.

I got to sleep in my bed that night.

--

A/N: Yay! Look, a NOT depressing ending to a chapter, how nice~

So how's everyone been? Good?! I hope so!

I hope you liked this chapter and haven't abandoned this story completely DX

Please feel free to drop me a review, for I love them greatly and they inspire me mucho!

lovelove

A-n-B

* - Playing something without practicing it. Like actors do cold readings for scripts and stuffs~

** - Falsetto means false voice, it's when a man goes into their head voice to reach a note that is outside of their vocal range.


	27. Hundred

A/N: Oh man! I need to tell you guys the craziness that has happened. About two months ago I started this chapter, and I slowly slowly slowly continued to write it, but I just could get anything done it was a complete crap chapter that I wanted to stat over and/or just forget about. About a week ago my computer completely SHAT itself and deleted all my files, and so all of my GITA chapters and chapters for all my other stories were gone (not to mention all of my Photoshop stuff and various scraps that I had hanging around...oh man computer, wth? Anyways...), including this chapter which I could never get written anyways.

I was thinking about putting a hiatus on all of my stories, since none of them are getting updated, so I opened a new document at around two this morning in order to let everyone know about it and guess what happened? THE NEXT CHAPTER OF GLITTER IN THE AIR THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED! ( I just think this is so funny...oh how my mind screws with me.) So I guess nothing is going on hiatus then~

Actually I'm really really grateful for how this chapter turned out. Before my time line for this story was like..."Oh it'll be completed in about thirty chapters or so, Wow this story is never going to be finished", but with the way this chapter turned out it looks like that time line has been cut in HALF! Heck yes! Only approximately fifteen more chapters to do. (FaceplusPalm)

SO! IMPORTANT STUFF!

**Disclaimer/Songs Used: I don't own this yo!**

**Hundred - The Fray (**Okay, this song is pretty important! It's Watanuki's CONFESSION SONG! THOUGH IT'S UNCONSCIOUSLY DONE! He doesn't even realize it yet! But Doumeki does~~ I mean, come on! A hundred? THAT JUST SCREAMS DOUMEKI! It's a part of his NAME for goodness sakes! 104! You guys get it right?)

**Chapter (insert number here because I don't remember...it's like twenty-six or something right?) : Hundred**

The next morning when I woke up Watanuki was packing his things.

A brief feeling of dread washed over me.

"Where are you going."

And then I was momentarily blinded (though not literally...I mean, really, that's physically impossible for a smile, no matter how beautiful-which this smile most definitely was- to actually blind some one, but I digress...)

Watanuki straightened himself out, zipping up the leather bag that he had brought with him back when he had moved in, before looking at me, those blue eyes filled with joy and a slight edge of determination. I had never seen him like this.

"I'm going back. I'm going to finish it."

It took a few moments for my mind to catch up. "The CD?"

"Yep," Watanuki confirmed, swinging the bag over his shoulder, "My plane leaves in a couple of hours."

"Why so suddenly?" I practically interrupted him.

This change in his mood left me feeling a little worried.

What if he didn't come back?

Or worse...

He smiled again, "Because of you."

"Me?"

"Your help yesterday...it really...I don't know...sparked something."

I couldn't think of a response, so surprised that we were actually having a civil conversation.

But then the ever present worry and concern that seemed to be glued to my brain waltzed in again.

"Why not just finish it here, like we did yesterday."

"It's not the same." Watanuki retorted simply.

"What about Seishiro, we know he knows where you are. Your not supposed to leave."

"I don't care." He responded, grabbing his jacket that was hanging over the couch's armrest.

"I do. He could kill you."

That damn smile was ever present, as if it was Watanuki's lips new default position.

"I don't care." The teenager started to head towards the door.

"Watanuki," I said with the slightest tinge of desperation in my voice, "You can't leave."

He turned, this smug look on his face like he had already prepared for this.

"Then come with me."

"This is a bad idea." I stated, more to myself than to the lithe male sitting next to me.

"It'll be fine." He consoled, though he did seem a little drained, probably from me subtly (or not so subtly, did it really matter?) nagging him the entire time I packed my things, booked a plane ticket, road in the car to the airport with him, waited at said airport for our plane to Chicago, boarded the plane and now waited for the plane to take off.

So, for about a good two hours. It would ware anyone down I suppose.

Watanuki was originally planning to not tell anyone about leaving, just simply up and going and dealing with the loose ends later, but I on the other hand did feel a slight obligation to my band mates at the very least. I had called them before boarding, giving them a quick rundown of what had happened and where I was going to be.

Sakura was ecstatic about the news, saying how she wished she could come along too, Syaoran just wished us a safe flight...but it was Kunogi who was the only one that had a true idea of what me going back to Chicago really meant.

Of who would be there.

I most definitely did have a bad feeling about this.

The plane lifted off.

"So where are we going?" I asked once the two of us had finally managed to grab a taxi at the airport, luggage in hand.

Watanuki just seemed waaaaay too happy about everything today, it was starting to freak me out more so than I was about anything else.

He just wasn't supposed to be this damn happy all the time. He was supposed to yell and get on my case and flail and be..._Watanuki_.

"You'll see."

"A hotel."

"You'll _see._" He insisted.

"A motel?"

"AH! DAMMIT YOU'LL SEE WHEN WE GET THERE! WE'RE STAYING WITH A FAMILY FRIEND OKAY?"

That was so much better.

"Fine by me."

"Kimihiro!"

"Kotori." Watanuki responded kindly, happily returning the hug that was practically thrown at him.

The two pulled away and the young woman who had opened the door looked over the blue eyed male's shoulder, "Is this him?"

Watanuki nodded, "It is. Kotori, this is Doumeki. Doumeki, Kotori." He quickly introduced.

The woman stepped further outside extending a slender hand, "It's so nice to meet you."

She had this very warm feeling around her, something engaging and wonderful. "Likewise."

She stepped back and rubbed her hands together, a quick gesture that seemed to be done out of habit. "I'm so glad you came." Kotori said, walking into the house, Watanuki and I following close behind.

"Thanks for having us Kotori," Watanuki said happily, "Sorry it was such short notice."

The woman smiled, "Not at all, you know you're always welcome here. Would you mind showing Doumeki to the spare bedroom? You already know where yours is."

He nodded, continuing down the hall as Kotori made a turn towards a few more rooms in the back of the house.

"Let's go," Watanuki said gruffly, his usual hatred towards me was welcoming.

He led me down a hallway that was lined with pictures and all of them seemed to catch my interest.

I hadn't realized I had stopped to inspect them until Watanuki was already at the end of the hall, yelling back at me, "What the hell are you doing? Let's go!"

I looked at him, met his gaze and allowed a small smile to pull at my lips.

Those blue eyes were the same.

Now if only I could see that smile too.

"Thanks for the meal," I stated brusquely.

Kotori smiled and nodded, collecting the plates on the table, "It was nothing, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Watanuki had excused himself sometime in the middle of dinner, saying he had to do something that I could only guess at, I hadn't had a chance to look around the house too much, having only just started unpacking when dinner was announced.

"How is it that you two know each other," I found myself asking, truly curious about the connection, Watanuki had neglected to fill me in (as he usually does).

A sad ghost of a smile filled Kotori's lips as she set down a cup of tea in front of me, similarly doing so for herself before she took a seat across from me at the table.

"I'm assuming that you already know about Kamui and Fu-" She paused before collecting herself, "and Fuuma, right?"

I nodded, feeling unusually guilty for the woman to have to be so pained. However, it only managed to spark my curiosity.

"Fuuma was my brother," Her smile grew a little lighter, "And Kamui became my brother too over time."

She looked at me, her face bright as if her expression before had never been there at all.

"When they took in Kimihiro, well, it was like I had gained another brother you could say...or a nephew."

She looked down at her glass. "He's all I really have left."

I was instantly sympathetic, though it didn't show.

Kotori continued, voice still airy and soft, "I'm really glad he found you. He's been alone for a long time."

I held her gaze, "Me too."

It was later that night when I finally realized what Kotori's connection meant.

Seishiro was her brother too.

I woke up in the middle of the night, mind blurry and I was only slightly unaware of where I was, trying to recollect my change in location.

Right, not in L.A. anymore, got it.

I slowly got out of bed, pulling on the pullover that sat on the chair across the room. I felt like I needed some air.

As soon as I stepped outside I heard a faint sound. Something similar to...piano keys?

I followed it, knowing it's source already before I even got there.

Towards the back of the house there was a small cottage-esque structure. The sound had grown louder as I approached it and I smiled.

What the hell was Watanuki doing up so late?

I opened the door. The entire inside was one room, with high ceilings and wooden floors, the occasional window here and there.

And in the middle of the room was a white grand, small painted details lining the lid and feet, and there at that piano was Watanuki.

I approached him in almost reverend awe.

As if sensing my gaze Watanuki's head lifted. "What are you doing up?"

"I could be asking you the same thing."

He rolled his eyes. "Composing I guess you could say..." He responded blandly, absently hitting a few notes at a time.

And as always I was sucked into his playing, "Keep going."

He gave me this defiant look, "Why should I?"

I was standing over him from where he sat on the matching piano bench. "Why not?"

He huffed, "Oh look how clever you are answering my question with another question, your skills in communication are truly other worl-"

"Right, now play."

"Oh my god, at least let me finish _complaining_!" He wailed, gesturing wildly with his hands.

"Please." I said, though it wasn't pleading in the least.

He looked at me with scrutinizing eyes. "Fine."

Then he turned, gazed at the keys for a few moments, lightly ghosting his fingers over them before he took in a deep breath.

Four minor chords and then a pause, a stall before continuing forward. Another chord, then finally a note by itself. Two more, another two and then two descending notes and a smaller chord, followed by the left hand entering with two barely audible notes in the bass.

Another pause before it started again, repeating only this time with the left hand to accompany it.

It was so depressing, sad, melancholy.

I thought Watanuki had managed to get past that, at least a little. Maybe this was residual stuff just trying to express it self...I could only hope.

The notes built up a little more, braking out of their chords and into a more singular sound before they finished lightly.

A very lengthy pause followed. And then Watanuki was singing.

"How I can't recall. Now I'm staring at what once was the wall, separating east and west, now they meet amidst the broad daylight."

The notes were complicated, a lot of extended chords that made Watanuki stretch his hands in seemingly painful positions, though he didn't seem to mind, nimble fingers hitting the keys perfectly. The notes seemed to grow a little happier, deviating from their minor tones.

"So this is where you are and this is where I am? Somewhere between unsure, and a hundred."

For some reason, something in my chest clenched. Why did he choose that number?

And then it repeated again, just as the intro had, though still just as complicated, despite it's repetition.

"It's hard I must confess, but now I'm banking on the rest to clear away. Cause we have spoken everything, everything short of I love... you right where you are, from right where I am. Somewhere between unsure and a hundred. Somewhere between unsure and a hundred."

I felt warmth through my whole body, like something was sparking to life and it couldn't be stopped. What was he saying?

More lightness, the song becoming a little stronger, determined. _Concerned._

"And who's to say it's wrong? And who's to say that it's not right, where we should be for now?"

A variation on the chorus and then Watanuki was brought back into the saddened keys.

"So this is where you are and this is where I am? So this is where you are? And this is where I've been? And this is where I've been. Somewhere between unsure and a hundred."

I couldn't go back to sleep that night.

That sadly wonderful song stuck in my head.

And the content smile on Watanuki's face that had followed it.

My dreams were haunted by blonde hair and a broken promise.

A/N: And done! B'AAAWWW WHY YOU BE SO CUTE WATANUKI?

This song is really important to me personally too because it's one of my favorites to play despite the fact that it destroys my fingers whenever I do so. (I have the smallest hands in the world. Seven year olds have bigger hands than I do...not really, but they ARE small...makes piano a real bitch sometimes, especially with this song's chords...oh they're so spread out DX). But it's lots of fun to play and I just love the Fray (well...I did, I'm not too crazy about their most recent CD...) This is my explanation if some of you are wondering why I put so much detail into describing how it's played (though not really), it's because it's a personal fav. Actually, I'm able to play a good majority of the songs I use-and will use HINT HINT-, I feel it gives it a more personal feel to when I'm writing it (i.e. Ordinary People, Colorblind, I Miss You, etc...) but, whatevs.

Anyways! Hope you guys liked the chapter, sorry for taking so long to update, but ya know...REVIEWS MAKE ME MOTIVATED AND STUFF!

It is now four in the morning! Time for bed! Shall be posting this is as soon as I wake up (though it'll already be posted by the time you've read this...::shrugs::)

Long author's note is long!

A-n-B


	28. The Package

A/N: I've noticed that has ff(DOT)net fudged up all of my formatting on previous chapters...which really sucks. Sorry that some words and page breaks have mysteriously gone missing and sentences that are meant to be **bold** and underlined are not...D: Well, that's all I've really got to say here, enjoy~

Disclaimer/Songs Used: These aren't mine!

**In Pursuing Design - VersaEmerge** (the singer is AMAZING! It's a bit Paramore-y, but I love them so much more. Her voice is just DELICIOUS! I highly suggest you listen to it.)

**Say This Sooner - The Almost **(I love this song, it's one of the ones that made me write this fic and inspired a lot of the ideas for Watanuki's background~)

Chapter 28: The Package (A Perfect Circle, one of my top 5 favorite bands! "Clever got my this far, then tricky got me in~" Anyways...)

* * *

"Oi. Where are you going?"

I felt my eyebrow twitch at the words that were strategically directed towards me.

I chose to ignore them, pulling on the soft green sweater that was hanging off one of the dining room chairs.

"Oi." Came Doumeki's gruff voice again and I just couldn't contain the anger that was sparked with that single word.

I couldn't place what it was about him that got me so riled up, but...if I had to be truly honest it was almost a relief, a small reprieve from the usual flow of dull emotions that tended to fill me.

Anger was happily welcomed.

"MY NAME'S NOT 'OI' DAMMIT! Haven't we been through this!" I demanded, turning towards the jean clad and wonderfully comfortable looking Doumeki.

He just shrugged. "Where are you going?" The golden eyed guitarist asked again.

I let out an aggravated breath, buttoning the sweater up to the middle. "I have to head over to our practice space. We're going to try to finish the CD today."

I sat down at the entrance, pulling on my shoes, but was stopped when I heard Doumeki approach and stand next to me.

"You're not going without me."

The nerve began to twitch again. "What?" I asked through gritted teeth, trying to focus on my self-appointed task of putting clothing on my feet.

"You're. Not. Going. Without. Me." Doumeki stated again, carefully enunciating each word as if it would help me understand any better.

I finally connected my eyes with his, momentarily lost in those golden irises.

"And what makes you think that?"

Again he shrugged, just a light lifting of his defined shoulders, a virtually nothing movement that seemed to convey his opinion on the matter perfectly.

"I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight remember?"

I scoffed, "And you also weren't supposed to let me out of the state either and yet here we are!"

It looked like Doumeki was about to say some sort of clever retort that would efficiently convince me otherwise when Kotori finally arrived. "Ready to go Kimihiro?"

I lightly smiled up at her, "I am, but this oaf is being difficult." I gestured towards aforementioned oaf, standing after finally getting my shoes on properly.

She smiled in return, "How so?"

"He says I can't go without him, stupid idiot."

"I'm right here." Doumeki stated blandly.

Kotori laughed gently, "Why don't we just bring him along?"

"WHAT? AND HAVE HIM SCREW EVERYTHING UP? No Thank You! He's done enough of that already." I responded loudly, flailing about and making a fuss.

"Oh come on Kimihiro, it'll be fun. The more the merrier." She insisted before turning to Doumeki. "Just go grab a coat, we'll wait."

Doumeki looked between us before nodding, but it wasn't really a nod it was more like an almost-nod, like he couldn't be bothered with shifting his head just that much more for the full motion.

It really pissed me off, "CAN'T YOU RESPOND PROPERLY?" I yelled at him as he walked further into the house.

Kotori turned back to me, an amused look on her face. "It'll be good for him, to see you in your element."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked with a shaky chuckle.

"I'm sure it'll be fine."

I looked at Kotori, the slight discoloration in her skin, she seemed to have lost weight too. "How are you doing, we really didn't get to talk last night."

She looked at me, letting her guard drop, allowing how tired she really was to appear on her face. "I'm holding up I guess."

"That's something," I said with a sad upturn of my lips. This was really taking its tole on all of us. "I won't make you do this...if you don't want to."

She shook her head, "I owe it to them, just like you do."

There was a silence between us, letting the severity of her words sink in. I took in a breath.

"I'm glad you're doing it though, I love your voice Kotori."

She agreed, "I love it too, but it's still been awhile."

Kotori rubbed her hands together, she still hadn't kicked that nervous habit of hers. "So...how's Theodore."

I knew this was going to come up. "Ted? He's okay I suppose...he really misses you."

She rolled her eyes good natured-ly. "Not enough to call." I laughed at the statement. "He does. You know he does. He bothers me all the time about it, it's really annoying."

The faded orange-haired female smiled genuinely, "I do."

I placed my hands in my pockets, "And besides, _you're_ the one who post-poned the wedding." My voice filled with a joking tone.

The female placed her hands on her hips playfully, "And _he's_ the one who's planning it." She retorted.

I sighed heavily, "Don't remind me, he is the most indecisive person on the planet. You know he kept me up until SIX in the morning the last time he came over because he couldn't choose between tulips or gladiolas for _your_ bouquet!"

"Don't give it away! I'm not supposed to know!"

My blue eyes narrowed, "Oh please, you know enough already. You're the one keeping all the receipts."

Her laughter filled the room again, "True, but it's the principle of the thing really."

I waved my hand dismissively, "There's no principle, you two just love to torture me with your pre-marital problems. Yuuko too, with her post-marital ones."

Kotori put a mocking hand to her mouth. "Of course. It's more fun that way."

* * *

"Oh Doumeki! Kotori! It's nice to see you again so soon~" Fai sang as we entered the practice room. I rolled my eyes.

"It's great to see you too Fai, don't worry, it's not like I'm risking life and limb to be here or anything," I stated sarcastically, pouting slightly.

The lithe blond made a sort of surprised face, "Oh! Kimi-tan I almost didn't see you there, it's like you blend into the background or something! That's so amazing! Where did you learn to do that?"

I smirked at his gibe. "I guess I picked it up somewhere."

Fai pointed towards Kurogane who was engaging in a small conversation with Doumeki, "Did you learn it from Kuro-woof, he does it all the time."

The man in question seemed to hitch at his mention and he turned towards his partner, "What was that?"

The willowy male spun gracefully, a finger on his cheek, "Nothing Kuro-pi, nothing."

"Better be nothing." He grumbled before connecting glances with me, "You ready kid?"

I nodded once, turning to Kotori. "You want to start first?"

She thought on it, placing her jacket on one of the couches against the room's wooden walls. "Sure."

I sat down on the couch as Kotori got set up in the recording room. It was barely noticeable, but I could tell she was shaking.

"So she sings?" Doumeki asked, effectively drawing me out of my introversive inspection as he sat down next to me. I glared at him.

"And wonderfully at that." I retorted, a little miffed at the taller male for a reason I couldn't identify.

"She doesn't seem very well." He continued, completely ignoring my remark.

I could feel my features soften, grateful that somebody else saw it too. "This is hard for her."

"Because Fuuma was her brother?"

I looked at him, "That and the fact that Kamui was practically the same, it destroyed her family."

His golden eyes connected with my blue ones, "She still has you."

I smiled, and I could tell that Doumeki was surprised by it. "That's not much."

"I'm sure it's plenty."

Kotori turned towards us, giving a wary thumbs-up and I hit a button on the switchboard in front of us. I returned the action to let her know we were ready when she was.

Doumeki seemed mildly surprised, "You guys are doing everything yourself? Where did you learn the technical stuff?"

I looked at him as Kotori took in deep breath, "Lionel. Now shut up and listen."

And then I finally heard it, one of the voices I hadn't heard since back with Kamui and Fuuma. A voice that I respected and loved because that voice sounded like family to me.

_"Now that you know!"_

It had been so long since I heard Kotori sing, I had forgotten how amazing it was. And right off the bat she was performing excellently, far better than I did when I first started trying again, at least she wasn't passing out all over the place.

And of course, Fai and Kurogane always played at their best, it was always amazing to hear.

_"You never said a word with tangled hands dry, and I, I see through rose-colored eyes. Tell me I'm the only chance constantly hanging from the sky! Pursuing design both far and wide. Now that you know there's time, rethink everything heard by the careless choir."_

I sat back down next to Doumeki, floored by the sheer power of her voice, a wide unconscious smile on my face. Doumeki nudged my side, not wanting to pull his eyes away from Kotori singing, but wanting to get my attention. "This is directly about what happened isn't it. With AntiPro?" He asked, though it didn't sound at all like a question.

I laughed, "That's kind of the point."

_"The way we see these things it's how we dream about reality. Problematic to believe, let alone perceive. With doubt your mind reads through internally, while observation flees, nothing can turn the sun back around. Oh-oh-oh-oh. Pursuing design and out of time. Now that you know there's time, rethink everything heard by the careless choir, now that you know there's time, rethink everything heard by the careless choir. Now that you know!"_

"She's amazing." Doumeki stated again.

I rolled my eyes and stood from my seat, "That's kind of the point too, dumb ass."

_"Sit and watch as I arise. I lean on surmise, though their eyes are far from dry. Will fingers uncross? Will these knots untie?"_

Before she could even finish I was in the room with her, happy to witness the huge smile on her face as she turned towards me. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

I took a couple of steps until I was in-front of her, and carefully pulled her into an embrace. "You did good."

She laughed into my chest and I could feel the wetness from her eyes spreading into my shirt. "If you say it's good then it's enough for me."

I smiled into her shoulder, "Then it was better than good."

Kotori pulled back, wiping her cheeks off, "Flattery will get you nowhere."

"It'll get this CD done."

We both laughed, all of our exhaustion and worries filling the air and leaving us hopefully for the last time.

* * *

"Whenever you're ready Kim-chi!" Fai exclaimed happily and I nodded, I still couldn't understand how Fai could be so enthused all the time.

I couldn't tell if it was just me, but it seemed like everyone was slowly regaining themselves, healing.

Kurogane had told me that Fai was starting to play multiple instruments again. There was this relief in his crimson eyes, like he was thankful for the change. That Fai was truly becoming himself and not just putting on a show to negate everyone's worries.

And Kurogane was healing through Fai's progress.

It was all for Kamui and Fuuma. We were pulling ourselves together for them.

I looked over to Kotori who was sitting with Doumeki, happily taking my spot in order to man the technical aspect of all of this. I nodded once to her, who acknowledged the action, relaying the message to Fai and Kurogane who started.

My eyes lingered on Doumeki, who in turn did the same until I couldn't hold that gaze any longer.

"Whoa! Whoa! I can't believe I didn't say this sooner. I just believed that I was all displaced. I'll get to speaking let you know how I feel. I'll get to judging, make you see my appeal! No one will ever see these things the way I do, no one will try. All my friends think that I'm gone, but I swear, I swear I'm not."

My gaze fell back on Doumeki who was busy listening to Kotori and giving his gruff 'Hn' answers. I almost rolled my eyes from the fact that I could practically hear his stupid tone in my head.

"This makes me feel that I'll never be quite normal. This makes me act like I'll never get out alive. I'll get to acting, make you all believe me. I'll get to faking, show you all how to grieve," 

Fai and Kurogane seemed to be doing fine, and I laced my hands behind my back, tentatively locking and unlocking my elbows.

"No one will ever see these things the way I do, no one will try. All my friends think that I'm gone, but I swear, I swear I'm not. I swear I'm not! In and out is where it gets back to the place it does. Makes me feel like I just want to feel just like it, touch," 

I guess I was just getting anxious, though for what I'm not exactly sure. It was physically visible to see how everyone was healing, but...I still couldn't see it in myself. Besides my miraculous feat of being able to maintain consciousness for the entirety of the day. That wasn't what I was hoping for though...

"No one will ever see these things the way I do, no one will try. All your friends say that you're gone, but you swear... I swear I'm not. No one will ever see these things the way I do, no one will try. All my friends think that I'm gone, but I swear, I swear I'm not. I swear I'm not."

I watched as Fai placed his tan Gibson on it's stand with hidden longing.

I wanted to play guitar again.

But...but I can't...

At least...not _yet_.

* * *

"It's really good." Doumeki commented off handedly and I caught myself before I could glare full force at him, having noted that what he said was a lame attempt at a compliment and not the hidden insult I usually take his words for.

"Oh thank goodness, your opinion makes all the difference," I retorted sarcastically as the taller male rolled his golden eyes.

"Would you rather I say it was bad?"

"If that was what you thought." I shrugged.

"It's not." He returned, connecting his gaze with mine, an eyebrow raising in mild curiosity. "What's your problem?"

I huffed, donning the sweater that I had removed somewhere during the recording, getting ready to head back to Kotori's. "Nothing."

There was this only _slightly_ awkward silence between us. "So..." Doumeki started, obviously uncomfortable, "Are you guys finished now?"

I nodded tiredly, letting a yawn slip before answering, "Pretty much, Fai and Kurogane are going to take care of the rest and it'll be sent over to Morning Star sometime tomorrow." I stretched out my back before opening the door, "Then the album goes to press. There's no turning back after that."

"Nervous?"

I scowled, "No! Why should I be?"

Doumeki shifted his shoulders in some sort of hybrid version of a shrug.

"YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!"

"How long are you planning on staying here?" Doumeki calmly asked, completely ignoring my previous comment.

I thought for a moment, snapped out of my anger, "I don't know, maybe another week or so. We still have a bunch of interviews to do...some other PR stuff."

"Sounds like fun," Though the way Doumeki said it made it sound as if he couldn't care less.

It pissed me off to no end, "What the hell! Don't ask if you don't care about the answer!"

He gave me his quasi-curious look, "I do care."

"DON'T JUST LIE BLATANTLY TO MY FACE! Your tone says otherwise!"

He smirked, "Well maybe you're just tone deaf."

"That's _highly unlikely_, moron!"

"You never know."

"WHAT IS THAT SOME KIND OF CHALLENGE? YOU PISS ME OFF!"

Our banter continued as we walked into the building's parking garage, where Kotori stood by her car.

"Are you two at it again?" She asked with a smile and a soft giggle.

"Not particularly." Doumeki responded in his usual monotone. "Would you mind if we made a stop somewhere?"

The girl nodded, "Sure, where to?"

Doumeki looked over at me for a few seconds and I met his gaze with a disapproving glare.

"My house."

* * *

"Why are we here?" I whined, though there was a distinct tone of surprise that slipped through.

Doumeki's house was far more homely than I had imagined it, blue exterior walls framed with white, there was even a stone walkway lined with blooming flowers of varying colors. It was practically an overgrown cottage, and it had this sort of peaceful charm that I couldn't really explain.

"To pick up my car." The golden-eyed guitarist said nonchalantly, already getting out of the backseat and heading for the door.

I was about to follow him when I turned back to Kotori who was still sitting in the drivers seat. "Aren't you coming?" I asked.

She gently shook her head, "No, I should get on home, get dinner started. I'll see you two later."

I gave her a firm nod before getting out. "Thanks again, for today."

Kotori smiled, shifting into reverse, and backing out of the driveway. I watched her go before heading to the door where Doumeki already was.

He knocked a few times before letting his hand fall to the side. There was silence.

I was about to complain that Doumeki had dragged me here and nobody was even home when footsteps could be heard from inside.

"-No really, it's fine. I'll get it." Came the voice from inside, soft and reassuring. Sounding far younger than I thought Doumeki's dad should sound.

And that's probably because it _wasn't_ Doumeki's father.

Not even close.

The elder male's hand was grabbing my wrist, "We need to go." He stated evenly, though there was a panic in his tone that I hadn't heard since that time in the hospital. He was pulling us from the door, but it was already too late.

"Sh-Shizuka?" A voice asked in surprise and Doumeki's hold tightened.

He turned and faced the person at the door with this stiffness that was only slightly more evident than his usual movements.

Blond hair and a pointed chin, soft eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses.

"Yukito."

Suddenly Doumeki's hand was gone as the taller male was practically tackled by the other's thin frame, Yukito wrapping Doumeki in a desperate embrace. "Where have you been? I was so worried. You dad said, he said that you-"

I stood in shock as I watched Doumeki gently push the boy away and held him there at arms length. "Shizuka? What is it?" Yukito questioned softly, but Doumeki didn't answer. He glanced at me, this pained look in his eyes.

"Watanuki, this is Yukito...," The golden-eyed guitarist started, turning so we could face one another, "...my boyfriend."

* * *

A/N: GAAAAAAH! Another cliffhanger! What is this, I don't even...

But YEEEEESSS! Finally Yukito is OFFICIALLY in this story! All that foreshadowing finally paid off! NOW THE FUN BEGINS~~ I've just got this thing for love triangles, what can I say~

And speaking of love triangles! We have resolved that whole "Are Ted and Watanuki together?" business! Obviously not! He's engaged to Kotori...which I guess makes him a Mary Jane, though it's sorta kinda necessary/unintentional. NOTICE THAT DOUMEKI ISN'T AWARE OF THIS SITUATION OH HO HOOOOO! This'll be addressed in the next chapter hopefully~

I hope you guys are still reading this story, I didn't seem to get much feedback on the last chapter so I have this sinking feeling that this story is pretty much dead D:

But it would help greatly if I could get some reviews~ (HINTHINTNUDGENUDGE)

Also! **THANKS TO ALL THE ANONYMOUS REVIEWERS! I wish I could respond to your messages, but alas, that would defeat the purpose of anonymous reviewing wouldn't it? SO THANK YOU! THANK YOU! **

See ya next time~

A-n-B


	29. Crossfire

A/N: What is this? An update like two days after my last? I know it's like I've just started writing fanfiction or something, I haven't done this in so long~ I finished my first fanfic in a week and it was seventeen chapters long, it's pretty sad how it takes me like a month for one chapter now...I can't believe I've been working on this fanfic for about two years...D:

**Disclaimer:**Characters belong to CLAMP

**Warning:** A lot of cursing on everyone's part, though that's nothing new...

**Chapter 29: Crossfire **(Oh man, this is the song of the week, I love it soooo much, it works with this chapter so well. Brandon Flowers, the [amazing] singer from the KILLERS~ _"There's a still in the street outside your window. You're keeping secrets on your pillow." _:D)

* * *

I couldn't breathe and speech was practically impossible.

The words just wouldn't compute.

_'Doumeki has a boyfriend. He's not single, he's already with somebody...'_

_'Doumeki's been _lying_ to me...'_

The now semi-formally introduced blonde smiled so sweetly, this relieved air around him.

God he was so naive.

"Hello Watanuki, it's so nice to meet you." Yukito said innocently, completely unaware of the internal war that decided to suddenly erupt within me.

I slowly took the hand he had peaceably extended in greeting, "You too...", The words were practically inaudible.

My throat felt dry, I was going to be sick.

Yukito's smile still held as he turned back to Doumeki, "Your dad and I were just sitting down for dinner, but there's enough for two more, if you'd like to join us."

The golden-eyed guitarist seemed reluctant to reply, "Actually, we're just here to-"

"We'd love to stay," I quickly interrupted, though it was completely unconsciously done.

Doumeki practically winced at my words.

The blond looked between us, obviously noting that something was a little off, "Okay then." Yukito responded, walking back into the house.

There was a pregnant pause between the two of us.

"Watanuki, I can-"

"Shut up." My voice was cold, emotionless and Doumeki did just that.

It made me so angry that he could see how much this was effecting me. "You got yourself into this, take responsibility for it."

I walked into the house, not caring if Doumeki followed behind or not.

* * *

The house held the same peaceful homely feeling on the inside as it did on the outside, but I couldn't appreciate it like I would've liked to.

It was almost as if the inanimate surroundings were mocking me, their hidden voices screaming, _'This is what Doumeki already has, isn't it great? It's everything you could never hope to give him.'_

How did I even think I stood a chance?

...wait..._what?_

My heart constricted and I felt so unbelievably stupid.

All the tension I had felt _towards_ him.

The undeniable comfort and peace I felt whenever I was _with_ him.

All the unconscious worry I felt _for_ him.

Why did it take me so long to realize it?

I love him...

I'm in _love_ with Doumeki Shizuka.

And then there's _him._

Mr. Beautiful-hospitable-perfectly-perfect-Doumeki's-boyfriend.

Why didn't he just _tell_ me?

I heard voices as I passed a room, the door being slightly ajar.

"What's he doing here?" Doumeki's voice asked in a harsh hushed tone.

My body tensed as I leaned against the wall, listening into the conversation and only vaguely aware that what I was doing constituted as eavesdropping.

"He came to keep a lonely old man some company. Is there something wrong?" A voice answered, older and worn with age though I could tell that it was most likely Doumeki's father.

"Dad, you're fifty-four, you're not old."

The elder man laughed, a gruff and resonating sound. "Let's see how you feel when you get to be my age, hm?"

I could practically _hear_ Doumeki roll his eyes, "How often does Yukito make these 'visits'?"

"At least once a weak, maybe more. You left so suddenly, he was really very concerned. And then we heard you on the radio, he was so _proud_ of you, but well, I suppose congratulations are in order."

There was silence between the two, something tense and heavy.

"But this...boy I heard with you, he seems to be..."

"To be?" Doumeki prompted his parent.

"Well, and I mean this in the most loving way possible Shizuka, you've always been a very _reserved_ person, and I, well...it's almost as if this person is, is... _important_ to you."

Another silence and all I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest.

"How can you tell?" The younger male asked, voice quiet.

"I think anyone with eyes could, let alone with ears for that matter" The elder responded jokingly.

"Dad...Dad I-"

"Dinner's ready!" Yukito called from somewhere deeper in the house and I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound.

I peaked into the room slowly.

Doumeki's father, an almost complete replica of his son just with a slightly larger frame, stood from the lazy-chair he had been sitting in and paced a comforting hand on his offspring's shoulder.

"Lets go eat. Deep significant revelations can't be achieved on an empty stomach."

* * *

Night came quickly, the whole world becoming quiet and cold.

"Watanuki?" Doumeki's voice was hesitant, though it was barely intelligible.

I turned upon hearing my name, mind numbed by the peace that the house seemed to be saturated in.

'What is it?" My voice was still cold, audibly displeased.

Dinner had been awkward to say the least.

Yukito had been just...just _fabulous._ So kind and gentle, everything I wasn't. The food was delicious and Doumeki's dad was so wonderful and wise and...

And it was just so...so...

_Frustrating._

"We should head back."

I looked at him with an undefinable glance and I could tell it threw him off, to not be able to read me so easily. "Fine."

I followed the golden-eyed male out to the front, where Yukito and Doumeki's father where waiting to see us off.

I smiled at them with surprising ease.

"It was great to meet the both of you, thanks again for the meal."

The blond nodded in agreement, "It was my pleasure."

The eldest male shook my hand, "Come back anytime, you're always welcome."

"Thank you."

"Oi, Watanuki, let's go." Doumeki called from his car, a champagne colored Toyota.

I nodded my goodbyes and got in.

* * *

If I thought that dinner had been awkward, it was _nothing_ compared to the ride back to Kotori's.

Neither of us where willing to speak, both of us aware of what would happen if we did.

So we stayed silent, the steady drum of the engine and the occasional intone of a right or left blinker the only accompanying noise.

When Doumeki pulled up to Kotori's house, however, my stomach literally sunk at what I saw.

Apparently the surprises weren't done for the day.

"Shit," I nearly growled under my breath.

"What?" The elder male asked stoically from besides me, shifting into park.

"Ted's here."

* * *

"God dammit Kim! What did I tell you? Where you even listening? What the hell were you _thinking?_" Theodore's voice was panicked, loud and out of control, his usually uniform chestnut hair in complete disarray and his eyes were slightly blood-shot.

"Jesus Ted, you don't have to yell." I tried to console, visibly cringing at his tone.

"Fucking serious? You could be _dead_ Kim, you could be _killed_! This isn't some sort of whimsical demand I'm asking of you! This is your _life_ you're gambling with!"

"Mr. Smith, it's not-" Doumeki tried to intervene, but was quickly demolished by the unnatural force that was an outraged Theodore Smith.

"And don't even get me _started_ on you! As soon as we get back to California we are going to have a very VERY serious heart-to-heart chat!" Ted turned back to me, "I've already booked your tickets, we're leaving the day after tomorrow. So get the shit that's apparently more important than your own _life_ done and get ready to get the hell out of here, understand?"

"Yes sir," I mumbled, not in the least bit pleased about being treated like an invalid child. "Am I 'excused' now Daddy-dearest?" I asked mockingly, my patience completely drained for the day.

Ted gave me a disapproving glare, "Whatever, Kim."

I quickly left the room, heading out back to the small musical sanctuary that Kamui and Fuuma and built there so long ago. I was only barely aware that Doumeki was following and that there was a heavy sigh from the Music Executive as he practically collapsed onto one of Kotori's plush couches.

* * *

"Watanuki-"

"Just leave me alone!" I yelled back at Doumeki, not daring to stop walking, not daring to give him the time of day.

"We should talk about this," The elder continued, not willing to relent.

I tried to ignore him, quickly opening the door to the small enclosure out back and trying desperately to close and lock it behind me before Doumeki could get in.

But apparently that wasn't meant to be, aforementioned male having already jammed his foot in the doorway to block the entrance.

I just wanted to scream at the whole situation, everything was falling apart.

"I don't _want _to talk about it!" I was still trying to push Doumeki out with the door, but the other stood firm.

"Neither do I," Doumeki admitted evenly, finally managing to slip into the room, the door finally closing from the now-unnecassary pressure I had been pushing on it with, "But we _should._"

Why did his words make everything sound so _simple?_ Like there wasn't some huge secret that he had been keeping from me, that all these things had a completely reasonable explanation.

"How could you _do_ this?" I retorted, voice quivering with thinly veiled anger.

"Do what?" He shot back, his voice holding the same tone as mine.

"_This!_," I gestured between us, "Why even bother?"

"Like you weren't doing the same."

"What does _THAT_ mean? I haven't done anything-"

"Don't even try that! I know what's been going on with you and Mr. Smith, do you honestly think I'm so stupid?"

I gaped at him, completely not sure what to think. "What the hell are you talking about?" Was the first thing that came to mind.

"There's obviously something between you two, it's no different than-,"

"There's nothing going on with me and Ted!-"

"I _saw_ you!" Doumeki yelled back, and it left me stunned, I had never heard him like this, "That day in his office, you can't say that's _nothing_-

"MY CONTACT WAS STUCK!" I cut him off, realizing what he was talking about, _God he is so stupid_.

"Please, what about that time I came over to your house? You two were in there for _hours_, there couldn't possibly be another reason for him to stay otherwise-"

"Ted's _engaged_ you fucking idiot!"

"Oh really, to who?" Doumeki wasn't buying it and it pissed me off to no end. Now of all times he decides to be stubborn.

"_To Kotori!"_

"...What?"

"He followed me that day to make sure I was okay, true, but he ended up staying because wedding stuff, they've been planning it for half a year now! GOD! Is this really what you've been thinking this whole damn time! That I'm just some two-timing _whore_, you bastard!"

His golden eyes widened, "No! I didn't, I just thought that...I just-"

"What the hell do you _want_ from me?" I pleaded, feeling so vulnerable, cornered.

"This isn't about me wanting something from you!" Doumeki returned, obviously fed up with everything we had been through that day, his usually cool and indifferent demeanor cracking.

"Oh! What a relief!," I retorted, my voice growing louder, "Because it really didn't seem that way! I thought I was just going insane, so glad _that's _cleared up!"

"Dammit Watanuki, this isn't the time for your fucking sarcasm!"

"No! _You_ don't get to say what's appropriate for _me_ to do or not! You're the one who's been making assumptions and lying to me this whole goddamn time! You have no right, _no right_, to criticize my behavior!"

"I wasn't _lying_ to you-"

"OH REALLY! Then what the hell do you call what happened back at your house hm? Are you going to tell me your family practices polygamy or some ape-shit excuse like that-"

"There's nothing between us!" Doumeki yelled back, finally getting a word in edge-wise, though he chose his words poorly.

My heart sank, and my voice was stuck in my throat.

"How can you _say_ that?" My tone was so quiet, sullen, it took me by complete surprise.

My sudden change triggered the golden-eyed male's realization and he instantly tried to fix his mistake.

"No, _no_, Watanuki, not _us_. There's nothing between Yukito and I." His tone was back to normal, though there was that gentle quality to it that just made my insides melt.

"Why do you keep _lying?_" I pleaded.

I hadn't realized how close the two of us had become during out heated argument until that moment, when my hand was unconsciously fisting the material of his shirt.

"You wouldn't have introduced him that way if there was _nothing_ between you two, now just tell me Doumeki, _please._"

I couldn't believe that I was actually pleading with him, that I felt so out of place and lost because I didn't understand where I stood with this person. That what I had _thought_ was between us, whether or not I was truly aware of it, could actually be nothing at all.

Doumeki lightly placed his large warm hands around mine, gently prying my hands from his shirt. His golden eyes searched my face, carefully examining every feature and the scrutinization continued a little longer in completely silence, his hands never leaving mine.

Gold met wide blue with determined hesitance.

"Yukito still technically _is_ my boyfriend," Doumeki started and my fists tightened beneath his hands, "But we haven't really been _together_ together for a long time."

"What does that even _mean_?"

"That whatever it is that you think is going on isn't, but it's-"

"It's _what?_ Just tell me," My hands fell from their hold, but my eyes never left his.

Doumeki sighed, obviously trying to collect his thoughts, to plan out his words.

"Before...before I met _you_, I thought that what had happened with Yukito was normal, that what I felt for him when we first met and how it became _nothing_ to me was as good as it would get, so I wasn't _looking_ for anything else."

I stayed silent. There's was nothing I could really say anyways.

"I always knew though, that I'ld have to end it sometime with him, but it seemed that every time I tried to or was about to, something would come up."

Another pause, "I was really attached to Yukito's family. His dad was my music teacher, and he taught me so much, and over time I basically became a part of their family. So I felt like I was doing something wrong by not _wanting_ to be with Yukito anymore. I felt obligated to them."

"The first time I tried to break up with him, his mom was diagnosed with cancer. They found a tumor in her brain and she was only going to be around for about a month. I couldn't just _leave_ him like that, so I stayed a little longer."

"In our junior year, about seven months after his mom passed away, his dad was _also_ diagnosed with cancer, but he had a little longer to live than his mom had. The day his dad was brought into the hospital was the same day I was planning to break up with him. I was about to tell him right when he got the call."

Doumeki sat down on the floor, leaning back on the wooden wall. He gave me this tired glance, and lightly patted the spot next to him.

I unconsciously obliged, sitting down next to him and resting my chin against my knees. The elder smirked.

"I figured it was the universe's way of saying that I wasn't meant to leave him. That I was destined to be stuck in this one-sided relationship forever. So I stopped trying. His dad finally passed away at the end of our senior year."

Doumeki idly fiddled with his hands, "It was at his funeral that it finally hit me, that I had to get away from Yukito or I was going to be stuck there forever. I gave Kunogi and Sakura the heads up and packed my things, we all left for L.A. the next morning."

"Without telling him?" I finally piped in. Doumeki nodded. "That's so stupid. Why not just break up with him then, it's not like anything _worse_ could have happened."

"It made perfect sense to me at the time, though I am regretting it now." His hand stroked my cheek.

I shrugged him off, giving him a completely displeased look, he wasn't forgiven yet. "Then why not do it now?"

"I can't." This singe of desperation in his stoic tone.

"_Why_?" I asked, if Doumeki truly meant what he said, then why couldn't he just _do_ it?

He gave me this look, like the answer was so obvious.

"It's like you and guitar, I just _can't_."

Something flared inside me at his words. "That's bull."

I stood, grabbing my phone from my pocket, dialed up the proper contact and pushed the little green button.

It rang twice before a cheerful voice answered, _"Hello?" _

"Fai?"

_"Oh Kimi-tan! Kuro-woof and I were just finishing up-"_

"Don't," I quickly interjected, "I'm coming over...the CDs not done yet."

_"What do you mean Kim-peachy?-" _Fai's protest was cut short as I ended the call.

Doumeki seemed completely baffled as he stood as well, "What are you doing?"

I was already heading for the door, "If that's what you think, then I'm making a point."

* * *

A/N: DANGNABBIT A-n-B, can't you go ONE chapter without a cliffhanger ending? The answer would be no~

I really wish CLAMP would've introduced Doumeki's parents, it would've made this chapter so much easier to write. '-_- I didn't feel comfortable enough to give his dad a name...if you didn't notice DX

Anyways, FINALLY Watanuki has realized that he's in love with Doumeki, god, it only took him like twenty-nine chapters! Doumeki's known for _so long_! And yet they still haven't said anything, hahahahahaha, they're acting so canon-ly in that aspect aren't they?

Thanks so much to everyone for their amazing reviews, I felt so loved~ And look, I got this chapter up super quick for you guys!

Reviewing really _does_ pay off, doesn't it? XD

A-n-B


	30. Echoes

**A/N: I'm not too happy with this chapter and I don't know why...I don't know. But I still hope you'll enjoy it... I wrote it twice because I couldn't decide on a song...maybe that's why DX**

**Disclaimer/Song(s) Used: I don't own these nor will I ever try to.**

**She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty - Dance Gavin Dance/Pierce The Veil. **(I've been wanting to use this song forever...but it never really fit so I just shoved it in here :P Johnny's voice just...just MMMMMM, Vic's is okay too, but it's a bit whiny to me. Dance gavin Dance is my second fav. band so it's not like I'm bias or anything...psssh)

**Chapter 30: Echoes **(The song I WAS going to use but didn't...by Set Your Goals.)

* * *

"Making a point?" I questioned, following quickly behind the sporadic Watanuki.

Hadn't this day been long enough?

"Yes I'm making a point!" He declared, opening up the back door of Kotori's house and walking in, "You said it's like me and guitar right?"

"Yeah, but-"

I was met by fierce blue eyes and I almost bumped into his lithe form as he quickly stopped and turned towards me.

"Then it'll be easy."

His completely reassured smile momentarily blinded me, and it took me awhile to realize that he had started to walk again.

"Watanuki, what are you talking about?"

The younger ignored my comment, having walked into the living room, directing his attention towards the two sitting on the couch.

"Kotori, I need a favor."

She gave him this look of concern and uncertainty, "That depends..." She glanced over to Mr. Smith before resting her attention back on Watanuki, "What is it?"

"I need you to drive me back to the practice space." He said evenly and the apparently 'engaged' couple on the couch exchanged quick looks.

"At this hour?" Mr. Smith sounded skeptical, "haven't you done enough for one day Kim?" Apparently he wasn't as angry as he had been before, as if he had forgiven the blue eyed male already.

Watanuki fiddled with his hands for a few moments, looking over to me as if asking for reassurance.

I couldn't really give him any.

"This is...this is different." He looked back to the woman on the couch, "Please Kotori."

She nodded, seeming to grasp some hidden understanding from the boy's tone, though what it was I could only guess at. "Sure, but on one condition."

"What is it?" Watanuki asked nervously. Kotori smiled.

"We all get to come along."

* * *

"Fai, do we still have those recording scraps from the old CD?" Was the first thing Watanuki asked upon entering the practice space, Kotori, her fiance and myself in tow.

"Kimi-chan? What's going on?" Fai asked instead, not answering the younger's question-that-somehow-managed-to-be-a-form-of-greeting-as-well.

"And I'm going to need your guitar too Fai, I hope you won't mind."

Apparently everyone was ignoring everyone else today, spectacular.

Watanuki was at the computer next to the switchboard, quickly scanning several different files, completely determined to accomplish...something.

"Oi, kid, what the hell are you doing?" Kurgane finally piped in, obviously just as baffled as the rest of us.

"Finishing something..." Watanuki mumbled, still focused on the computer screen, as we all just sort of stood by the entrance, unsure of what to do.

"Yes!" We all jumped at the sudden exclamation, Watanuki standing from the chair and flipping a few switches here and there. "Ted, I need you to man the computer. You just have to start the feed when I tell you to."

We all looked at the Executive, and he looked as equally uncertain as we did, "What, Kim, what are you-"

"Shh!," Watanuki cut him off, obviously fed up with everyone questioning his thoroughly questionable behavior, "Please just...just do it, okay?"

Theodore Smith instantly shut up, nodding gradually as if coming out of his shock. The younger smiled and it was a wonderful sight. I couldn't believe that he was actually _smiling_ after everything that had happened.

"Thanks," He said once the brown-haired elder did as he was asked, then those blue eyes fell on Fai's lighter ones, "It's in its case right?"

It took awhile for the lithe and usually energetic blond to realize what Watanuki was talking about, "Uh...yeah Kimi-tan, but you know you can't-"

Watanuki shook his head, "It'll be fine," He reassured.

"That's what you say Kim-kim, but you're just going to hurt yourself..."

The younger male continued to ignore the concern that was directed at him, entering the small recording room and disappearing from my sight as he knelt down to open up Fai's guitar case.

He pulled the strap over his head, the tan acoustic resting so _perfectly_ around him.

Another smile from the raven-haired male, "It'll be _fine_." He mouthed through the glass window separating the two rooms.

Watanuki pulled up a wooden stool that was in the corner of the room and brought it over to the standing mic.

He took a seat and stared at the Gibson in his hands for a few moments, this almost loving look in his eyes before he sighed. Watanuki reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and opening it. His fingers dug into a small pocket in the accessory, this satisfied look on his face of he found whatever he was looking for.

A small white pic.

What the hell was he doing carrying around a pic in his wallet for?

"Shit, the kid's serious," Kurogane practically growled, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall behind him.

Mr. Smith was now completely aware of what was going on now, "Fuck! Kim you better _not!_ Don't pull this kind of crap! You know what'll happen!"

Of course I fully understood what was going on now too, you'd have to be an idiot not to, I just couldn't figure out why it was such a big deal.

I was the only one that knew _why_ he was actually doing it, to prove something to me.

Watanuki was going to play guitar again, it wasn't anything _harmful._

The blue-eyed musician cupped his ears in a mocking manner, as if saying: "What was that? I can't hear you.", though it was obvious he had, Theodore had been screaming so loudly how could he _not._

Kurogane lightly nudged Fai's motionless arm, nodding his head over to the recording room as if to say: '_Should we join him?'_

I looked over to Fai who was shaking his head in a grave manner, "We _shouldn't_. You know that," He whispered almost inaudibly to his partner, but the man seemed to understand and he let out an aggravated breath.

Watanuki seemed disheartened at all the negative responses he was receiving and his eyes turned downcast.

But as soon as those sapphire eyes met the guitar's wooden surface, it was almost as if he didn't _care_ anymore.

The youngest male looked up, more determined than ever, before nodding over to Mr. Smith, letting him know he was ready.

"No Kim." The man stated evenly, and Watanuki just seemed to be aggravated by the words, "No."

"I can do this," He pleaded through the glass, his words muffled and barely intelligible.

Kotori, who had been as silent as I was, which was really a feat within itself, gently pulled her fiance away from the computer. Watanuki looked at her in a relieved manner before nodding, and she hit a key as Theodore shot her a disapproving glance.

There was a breath before Watanuki's hand lightly wrapped around the guitar's neck, fingers ghosting over the strings.

And then he started.

This small, gradually building strum that sounded just as saddened as the atmosphere filling the room.

Watanuki gave one final nod over to Kotori who in turn hit another key on the computer.

And I was nearly floored at what I heard.

_"If you call me at all, don't tell me that I'm ordinary, 'cause I won't be passing you please don't leave and if you tell me you're listening to everything you read..."_

I was completely shocked to hear the voice that was played through the computer's audio feed.

It was Watanuki's voice.

A twelve-year-old Watanuki's voice.

But then the Watanuki _now_ was singing and playing and he just looked so at _home _as his strums grew quieter_._

"Turn off, this light, call my name. Don't talk just ride. Who wouldn't let you be all about...about me? I'm only trying to work this out."

I looked around at the others in the room, both of them had the same expression on their faces, this distraught worry that I just couldn't understand.

Watanuki was finally _playing_ again, shouldn't they be happy about this?

_"So if you call me at all, don't tell me that I'm ordinary, 'cause I won't be passing you please don't leave and if you tell me you're listening to everything you read. If you call me at all."_

I almost wanted to cry hearing that small voice coming through the speakers again, the Watanuki who was still so naive and innocent despite his haggard roots.

It was almost as if the Watanuki now was try to give a warning to the Watanuki _then._

"I hear you breathing on the line, oh baby girl I'm not your type. I leave you hurting every night so I won't be coming back."

Watanuki's strums grew harder, as if there was some underlying frustration that he was working out through the guitar.

"Who wouldn't let me be all alone? Who wouldn't let me be all alone? Who wouldn't let you scream alone into a soft pillow?_ I'm such an animal_ and baby honestly these teeth won't let you go."

Maybe it was the content of the song that was causing those looks, I mean, it was obvious what it was about.

And since there was a recording from when Watanuki was twelve trying to sing it...it must have been written right before Kamui and Fuuma's death.

But really, shouldn't they be proud of him that he was finally finishing it? I still think their concern is over him playing guitar again...

But why?

_"And don't tell me that I'm ordinary, 'cause I won't be passing you please don't leave, and if you tell me you're listening to everything you read."_

And then Watanuki was singing along with himself again. It was amazing to see how much that voice had grown, how much had changed.

"_If you call me at all _(Aaahh Aaahh)_ don't tell me that I'm ordinary, 'cause I won't be passing you please don't leave _(Aaahh Aaahh)_ and if you tell me you're listening to everything you read, if you call me at all. _(Aaahh Aaahh)_ If you call me at all, if you call me at all _(Aaahh Aaahh)_ if you call me at all, oh if you call me at all."_

Though I suppose it didn't really matter what everyone was going on about, if it was something truly important I would find out about it sooner or later right?

And besides, Watanuki had made his point.

_Quiet clearly._

So much for my Yukito/guitar metaphor.

* * *

"He really shouldn't have done that," Theodore said silently more to Kotori than myself, the hum of his sedan filling the previously silent air between the four of us.

After the recording things had gone pretty smoothly, Watanuki seemed thoroughly pleased with himself while everyone else excluding Kurogane and I continued with their slightly disapproving frowns.

As soon as we got in the car to head back Watanuki was out like a light, obviously exhausted from his day, his head resting on my arm. I smirked lightly. So much for giving me the cold shoulder.

"It might be different this time," Kotori tried to console.

_'That's it._' I thought, fed up with being kept in the dark.

"What's so bad about him playing again?"

Mr. Smith spared me a wary glance before his eyes settled back on the road.

He sighed. "It's not because he started playing again. It's because of what may happen now that he _is_ playing again. He might not be able to stop."

"What's wrong with that?" I was obviously not understanding the huge underling message of his statement.

There was complete silence before Kotori turned in her seat to look at me.

"Kimihiro's done this once before. Back when Theodore first discovered him. He started to play again, thinking that he was ready for it..., but he wasn't."

"What happened?" The tone of her voice made it sound like him playing guitar again was some catastrophic event.

"Nothing...at first. But gradually, over the period of about a month, he couldn't _stop._ He would just play and play and play, he didn't sleep, he didn't eat, he didn't talk. He would just keep playing until his hands were bleeding or the strings would break and even then he didn't stop. He _couldn't_. It was like he had gone insane..." Kotori looked gravely at Watanuki as he slept.

Mr. Smith continued the story when his fiance didn't, "Eventually, his body couldn't take it anymore and he collapsed from exhaustion. It took us months to get him back to his normal health, a good stable weight. It took us even longer to keep him from playing again." The man let out a hollow laugh, "The stubborn little bugger. That's when I suggested he learn how to play the piano. At least that way he'd stop striping his fingers raw from the goddamn strings."

Kotori laughed too, "Kimihiro swiftly shifted from one instrument to the other, finding it a more efficient outlet. And eventually he forgot about the guitar all together."

She paused, hesitating slightly, "...or so we thought..."

I quirked an eyebrow at her, "What do you mean."

"It seems like Kim's been playing behind our backs," The green-eyed male supplied, his voice tinted with exasperation, "Though I'm not sure when, it must've been recently though."

"Why do you say that?" Kotori asked her fiance, obviously not understanding how he could tell _when_ Watanuki had started playing again.

"Every time I'd stop by to see him...I would always check." He grinned at the female sitting besides him in a reassuring manner, "That acoustic of Fuuma's that he always keeps in his closet upstairs, I noticed it had been used a couple of months ago, or at least moved...I wrote it off as him cleaning...but-"

"You mean that black guitar?" I asked.

"That's the one."

I couldn't really believe it.

Watanuki had let me play _Fuuma's_ guitar, something that even though it's harmful to keep around he does anyways, he allowed me to use something precious to him before we even really knew each other.

He put himself at risk, he took a chance for something he couldn't even rely on yet.

_How long has he known?_

I must've started it then, from the first day I met him. That guitar hadn't been played for so long, those strings were so worn and old. I was the one who re-tuned it...he started playing after that.

We finally pulled up to Kotori's house and some distant part of my mind realized that it must be sometime around three in the morning.

I looked down at the still slumbering Watanuki, Mr. Smith and Kotori already getting out of the car. "Hey," I whispered gently at him, not in the least bit inclined to wake him up.

He stirred, though it was clear he was still asleep.

I couldn't help the smirk that pulled at my lips, my eyes rolling good-naturedly. I quietly unbuckled our seat belts, swiftly getting out the care and walking around to the other side. My hands we soft as they pulled the door open, going straight behind Watanuki's knees and back, hoisting him out of the car.

His eyes fluttered open before shutting again, "Doumeki?" The blue-eyed male grumbled groggily.

"Hm?" I returned, voice still light and somewhat taking me by surprise as I entered into the house with Watanuki in my arms.

He fit so perfectly, just like that guitar had around his neck, just like how his arms laced around mine, his head resting against my chest.

Kotori and her fiance had disappeared somewhere, I couldn't really bring myself to question it, all my attention focused on the person I was holding as I lightly closed the door behind me with my foot.

I continued down the hallway, past the pictures of a smiling Watanuki and his lost proxy-family.

I hit the light-switch in his bedroom with my elbow, and the younger let out a soft mummer as I placed him down on his bed. He instantly curled onto his side and I brushed aside the hair that had fallen into his closed eyes.

He hummed in approval, unconsciously leaning into the caress and another smile threatened to fill my lips.

This had to mean something, it _had_ to.

I already knew that I loved him, that I'm _in _love with him, but then _why?_

Why do I feel so hesitant, what's keeping me back?

It's not Yukito, I know it's not him because he's been there all along, but what else could it be?

My eyebrows furrowed together as I stood from his bed, turning to walk away.

But I didn't get very far, Watanuki's fingers hooked around one of my belt-loops deftly.

"Don't..." Hw pleaded, voice thick with drowsiness.

I looked down at him, thinly veiled surprise on my face. His fingers tugged again and I sat on the edge of the bed, causing Watanuki to let go. "What?" My voice was soft and it continued to surprise me.

Why _him?_

"Stay," He murmured, voice just as soft.

I felt my whole chest tighten, but not in the signature painful way of an on-coming attack.

In a beautifully wonderful _terrifying_ way.

I took in a deep breath, laying down next to him, the younger instantly resting his head against my chest and allowing me to wrap an arm around his shoulders.

And it was just so _perfect_, why hadn't I seen it sooner?

"Why?" I whispered back as Watanuki's thin knees rested against mine.

He hummed back, his tone clearly indicating a question.

"_Why?"_ I repeated, softer, right into his ear.

I felt him smile as he nuzzled more comfortably against my shoulder.

"Because I love you." He finally responded right before falling back asleep.

* * *

**A/N: So there's that...hope you guys didn't mind...BUT LOOK A CONFESSION FINALLY! FINALLY!**

**This won't make things slightly awkward between them in the morning...not at all. ::sarcasm::**

**And OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! 200+ reviews? That's amazing! I love you all sooooo much~**

**Let's go for 300 eh? Eh?~  
**


	31. It's Thunder and It's Lightening

A/N: Not much of an author's note since I've been such a terrible author by not updating in, what was it...almost a year? yeah...sorry :[

Disclaimers: Yeah I own nothing.

**Chapter 31: It's Thunder and it's Lightning (we were promised jet packs is pretty good)**

* * *

I woke up with the acute distinction that something was definitely..._off_ in someway or another.

Of course, turning over in bed and seeing the exact reason for the feeling was a good wake up call.

And wake up I did.

"D-D-Doumeki?" I practically squeaked, "Why the hell are you in my bed?"

The guitarist in question didn't seem too phased, still groggy from sleep and being suddenly awake, golden eyes semi-opened to see his human alarm clock. After deciding that there was no imminent threat to his well being those eyes shut again, Doumeki falling back to sleep.

The ever prevailing twitch made its way back to my eyebrow. "The Hell! Don't just go back to sleep you useless oaf, you think you can just stay here? Are you saying I'm not at all intimidating and you can just sleep as I RANT at you? Fine! Be that way! I'm gonna shower." I trailed off standing from the bed and ruffling through my still somewhat unpacked luggage.

"Can I come?" Doumeki had the nerve to ask, voice slightly muffled by the pillow.

"NO YOU CANNOT!" I spat back, mostly out of spite than actual adversity to the idea.

Because taking a shower with the free loading life messer-upper _totally_ sounded like a ball and a half.

Because that was sarcasm.

_Totally sarcasm._

* * *

Shower taken, breakfast consumed and dishes washed, Ted brought it upon himself to finally get down to his business for being in Chicago in the first place.

"Now Kim, I think it's time we head home. We've got a few things" And with that word Theodore directed his gaze towards Doumeki who took it head on, "left to take care of when we get there and I'd like to have them sorted out as soon as possible."

I frowned, both for not wanting to go back and also for knowing what was awaiting us when we did return.

Ted was still pissed.

And when one Theodore Smith was pissed, he schemed and plotted until he felt everything was justly put back into it's place.

And the unfortunate end of all this plotting an scheming was Doumeki, because Ted had put him in the place of keeping watch over me and yet here we were.

In Chicago.

More than halfway across the country from home.

"But Ted, what about th-" I tried to plead in order to delay, but he stopped me.

"No Kim, we had a deal."

"But _Ted._"

"Kimihiro. A deal's a deal, you know how I work." And I knew that was all there would be said on the matter, full names meant he brought out the big guns.

I nodded once and then there was a bit of a silence.

Ted cleared his throat, getting his thoughts together before he continued. "The plane leaves at three. So get packed and get ready to go. I contacted Fai and Kurogane this morning and they said everything is covered on their end."

"Okay." I said, confirming I had understood.

"Same goes for you Doumeki," Ted stated, inclining his head towards the taller musician who nodded as an acknowledgment.

I turned to start packing my stuff, Kotori following after me.

"I'm sorry we couldn't stay any longer Kotori," I said once we were in my room.

She went to sit on the bed, a small semi-sad smile on her face, "It's alright, though you know I would've loved for you to stay."

"And not just me I'm sure." I retorted and she gave a laugh.

"Oh you know me too well," She teased, helping me fold a couple of shirts and pack them away.

There was a silence, I knew she had something to say, but she was too wary to reveal it.

That fragile wall that Kotori tries to put up for protection slowly fell away as we continued to pack my things, slowly putting away the pieces that were keeping someone near her, with her, grounding her to some sort of family.

"I really hate that he's leaving again." She finally relented.

I looked at her, eyes sad. "The whole long distance thing is finally breaking you down?"

She shook her head, "That is a big part of it. I just worry. We're both so busy and I only just got to see him."

I put down the semi-folded shirt in hand, lightly gripping her thin shoulders. "You know Ted loves you dearly." I gave her a light, genuine smile which she tried to reciprocate.

"It's never the same without him here. It's not fair that he gets to come and go and that I have to stay and wait."

"He just cares for your safety."

"He cares for everyone's safety."

"That doesn't make you any less special." I persisted. "You know Ted better than any of us. When he's with you, it's like he's home. He's at peace with you, he can't put up a mask like he does most of the time for business and people in general. And believe me, you make him lose his head more than I ever will."

Kotori seemed content with my words, a relieved glow in her eyes. "You're right." She said, taking my hands into hers. "Thank you."

"We'll be back soon. I love it here too much not to."

She gave a small chuckle and hugged me warmly.

* * *

"I'm still glad we came." Doumeki stated, almost inaudibly, as we sat at the airport.

"What?" I asked, looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"Even though I can tell going home won't be pleasant, I'm still glad we came here anyways."

I turned to him, slightly baffled.

"...Why?" I said after awhile.

"Because it was something I did with you."

The blush was too intense to conceal.

* * *

The minute we landed back in California we were escorted back to Lattice. Doumeki had a very important meeting with someone who was currently still rather displeased.

It was strange to be so nervous for him. I really don't see how I should care whether or not Ted is peeved with him or not.

It only irritated me that I couldn't fool myself anymore.

"Are you sure that you're going to be okay by yourself."

"Hm."

I didn't even yell back. It was slowly sinking in where this might lead.

"I'm going with you."

The car stopped.

* * *

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't expecting this." Ted began. I couldn't stop shaking.

I had the worse feeling about this.

"Somehow, I recall having an agreement with you Doumeki. An agreement of which, in my opinion, has been breached."

The golden eyed male just sat there, taking it in, not showing any signs of weakness.

"I'm not sure which part of Chicago lies between Lattice and your house, but I'm pretty sure that I've never come across it. So please, enlighten me Doumeki, how is that you ended up there then, hm?"

"-Ted please! It was my fault-"

"I didn't address you Kimihiro-"

"-Yeah, but-"

"Kimihiro."

I was silenced.

"Now Doumeki, please do tell."

There was a tense silence.

"I took a wrong turn." The guitarist shrugged.

I gapped at him.

Ted smirked. "That you did indeed."

The executive straightened his tie.

"As of today you are no longer associated with Lattice records, your contract is null and void and you are no longer allowed on the premises. Upon you departure from us today you will be blacklisted permanently."

"Ted, no-" I tried to protest, but it was Doumeki who caused me to stop.

The other male stood and locked his gaze with Theodore's. He lightly bowed his head. "Thank you for your time." And with those words he left.

I was stunned. He took it so welcomingly. Ted didn't even seem content with his victory.

It was practically handed to him and that was the proper meal that the elder man thrived on. He liked the tortuous kill, to be lethal and strike with precision, not for his prey to give into his fangs.

"I hope you're happy with yourself." I said to him, I had never been so disappointed by him.

I quickly left the room to catch up with Doumeki.

I had to make things right.

* * *

A/N: ...'sup guys? hello? Anyone? Ah, I figured no one was reading this at this rate XD This poor neglected story. Sorry guys, I got engaged and been doing lots and lots of RL stuff and have been putting fanfiction seriously on the back burner. It felt weird writing this chapter, I had practically forgotten everything I was trying to do with it, but it steadily came back, luckily.

So...I know I shouldn't ask but, please review? Should I still continue this ol' story or not?

Anyone seriously disappointed with the end of xxxHolic? yeah, me too.


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